I love men.
I really do. I have loved many different men. But I love them all.
Their smells and looks, the way they walk, the way they belch and holler, the way they will never admit how much they need us, and the way they never admit how little they do. They fascinate me these base and sensory creatures. A full belly, some sexual release and a few comfort items and most are content. They sleep the sleep of the dreamless, the sated. I love them in all their diversity.
They fascinate me. The egotistical male: who is striving for a perfection he will never find... and usually is hiding a unique and silent vulnerability. The strong man: who fears his own weakness, and who finds he is strongest not through his muscles but by protecting those weaker. The talkers: who if you listen, speak with their minds. The thinkers, the brains, and the nerds: whose strength lies inside them untapped. A little stroking, and they shine. The shy man: who when opened up by the right one is an exuberant conversationalist. Smart or dumb, tall or short, thin or fat, muscular or weak, hair or no hair... these are the men I love and have loved.
I remember him; tall and lanky... wickedly smart with a quick wit. He was a virgin. I spoke to him, and he made me laugh. No one seems to realize what a potent aphrodisiac laughter is. I spoke my intentions with my eyes. He kept us friends. I touched him, brushed against him, moved my face close to his to tell him things. He kept us friends. I realized I would have to be more direct. So one night in his apartment after a gathering of friends I stayed to help repair the damage. I lifted myself to sit on the kitchen counter... deliberately letting my legs open a bit in my short khaki skirt. He stared, but kept the conversation going. I had to admire him for this. I stopped him by calling his name.
I asked him directly... "Do you not find me attractive?"
He stammered a bit... "Yeah I do, but we are friends!"
I smiled my 'wicked me' smile at him slowly. "We can still be friends when you fuck me." I was watching his crotch at the time... and I saw a physical jump at my words. I held out my arms, asking for his help off the counter. He interpreted my gesture differently and yanked my knit top down below my leopard print bra.
He pulled the satin cups down and immediately engulfed my nipple into his mouth. He attacked them, filling every boyish masturbation fantasy he had ever had in those few moments. It was delicious. He moved his hands down and let them slide up my smooth thighs to my hips... he moaned as he did this. Such simple things... I had grown used to doing this for myself. It was nothing new to touch my own body, or to touch others. I felt humbled that my body was giving his this first taste of pleasure... this first taste of a woman's body. He was unbelievable that night fucking me from behind, my chest lay on the kitchen counter.
He walked behind me to his bedroom and yanked me to the living room table before we could get there. He laid me out as a waiter laid out a fine meal, spread, palatable, a sensual delight for the senses. He ate at me for 2 hours, learning my smells and tastes, the sensitive spots on my body. We made it to the bathroom next to clean off and had another round with me sitting on top of him while he rested on top of the closed toilet. The next three times were in his room... on the floor, on the weight bench, and finally in his bed. He came in my mouth when I gave him his first ever blowjob. He was one I loved.
I remember him; so big he scared people and had to have his shoes specially made. He had played football, and was a brawny construction worker on the team building my home. I liked to drive up to the site and watch them sweat. I would rub myself while sitting in my car dreaming of licking up all that salty male sweat. He apparently knew his strength only too well and had not had a woman in years because he was too afraid of hurting them.