Men like to have sex with many women; are women the same?
My mind was roiling with all sorts of emotions but my husband who started it all swept his mind clear and was watching cricket on TV with a screwed up face of a man totally absorbed. I felt very tender towards him. I moved closer to him and kissed him on the cheek. He held me by the shoulder and kissed me but his eyes were on the screen.
"You are a funny man," I said.
"Any man who harbours a desire like mine has to be," he admitted.
My husband is an uncomplicated person. That was what made this desire of his so surprising.
It was the after supper hour. We were on the drawing room sofa.
"Mrila," he said.
"Yes, darling."
"I have to tell you something that I have been wanting to for a long while."
"Well go ahead. Quite simple isn't?"
"Well it is not quite that simple or I would not have been keeping it off for this while."
"How long?"
"A year may be a little more."
"We have been married less than three years; that makes 'a year and a little more' a long while."
"I don't know if you have been noticing it but you must have felt a loss of intensity in my sex drive."
"Well I have not been jumping about in bed as I used to. I suppose it is natural. So what do you propose to do? Is it variety that you are clamouring for?" I laughed. Tarun was not the type that philanders. He was very much a virgin on our first night.
On that memorable night Tarun was holding the rolled up condom to his penis tip with head tilted in an attitude of one who does not know not what to do next. An hour old bride, I lay naked with thighs widely apart ready for deblossming. Eventually he put on the condom and did the job. Later, much later I asked him; he said he was not sure if he should retract the foreskin before rolling on the condom. But Tarun was quite competent on bed. He gave me a good one next day and after he perfected the licking routine it was orgasm almost very time. But one cannot keep to honeymoon levels for long. I never felt his energies fading to the point where I should start getting concerned. Tarun finding it necessary to revive his sexual energy was thus quite surprising, but the method he suggested was completely insane. This is what he told me.
"I want to see other men have sex with you." I was not sure I heard him right.
"You mean you want me to have sex with other men?"
"But only when I am watching."
"That is your prescription to revive your sex drive?
"I am certain it will."
"I suppose you have the men lined up."
"The men must be ones you are comfortable with. Not of my choosing."
"Thank you for the thoughtfulness. So I have to go about choosing."
"Not that way. Look here Mrila I have not got into the nitty gritty of it. I merely expressed a wish. We have to work out the details."
"You must have an outline of some plan in mind."
"They must be men we are not likely to meet again. That's absolute."
"And what is relative?"
"Young men. By young I mean younger than you."
"Juveniles."
"Oh no. Nothing beyond the law. Ideally first timers."
'Young but after the age of consent or whatever and virgins."
"That sums it up."
"So these days this is you fantasy."
"Yes. As you know any topic I get interested in I research. This desire may appear strange to you but books say in varying forms it is common."
"So married men all over are seething with a desire to see other men have sex with their wives."
"Not quite. A man wanting his wife to dress with the breast valley showing is expressing this desire in the mildest form. Voyeur sites are better examples. You have seen that most of the postings in voyeur sites are nude pictures of wives that men have posted. They avidly read the comments in which other men express a desire to have sex with the wife and say so often in language that is raw. The husbands love to read these comments and I believe email exchanges often occur and follow up action is not uncommon. Even swinging or wife swapping is not a ploy men adopt to have sex with other women as most of us assume. More often it is to see the wife having sex with other men."
"What do psychiatrists call this madness?"
"Nice point you have raised. It does not come within the realm of psychiatrists because it is not madness. It is normal and psychologists are the people interested in this behaviour. They have a name for it. Troilism it the name. You can look it up in Wikipedia. Angry?
"Angry? No way. I do not know whether to weep or laugh. I have decided to laugh. Ha! Ha!"
"Darling," he said, "this no laughing matter. I am dead serious. I am desperate. It has become an overpowering obsession. Let me make it clear. My mental stability is entirely in your hands." I looked hard at him. There was no doubt that he was in trouble.
"I'll do what I can," I said.
*
Tarun made no further reference to his desires and I did not broach the topic. Three days later we were watching a TV show in which a young man of twenty was lover of a young married woman. To me it appeared as if this man was a perfect fit for the role my troilist husband had in mind. I turned to him instinctively. Apparently his mind was also running in the same direction for he also turned. We made eye contact and we smiled. Thereupon he got up, walked across the carpet, and bending down he hugged me and we kissed passionately. This simple event had a profound effect on me for from then on my fantasies were mostly about men having sex with me under the watchful eye of my husband. I do not know what name psychologists have given a wife who wants to have sex with other men while her husband is watching but was I now that. I was not horrified by that thought but I was horrified that I was not horrified but just bemused.
Three months later Tarun had a six month assignment in the States. His company was kind enough to allow me to accompany him. We had a one room apartment in Los Angeles and every week end we made visits to surrounding places of interest. One week end Tarun extended the holiday by taking two days leave. Our destination was Las Vegas and The Grand Canyon.
All major car rentals refused to accept the International driving licence both of us had. They needed a license from any of the States. But the manager of a rental company had a customer, a young man who had recently graduated from high school who was willing to join a small group for just the tour we had undertaken. He had a license and would be our driver as well one of our party. We met the young man. He was from Wisconsin and was going round the country by whatever means he could. From Seattle he had been on Greyhound buses and was tired of that. We met him and both of us took a liking to him straightaway. We soon agreed on the terms which were that as the driver he gets a free ride but he meets his other expenses.
The drive from LA to Las Vegas passes through endless miles of almond groves. There are stores on the way where you get almonds at not-so-bargain prices. In the distance you can see miles after miles of giant windmills producing electricity. The locals call them windmill farms. We then come to Hoover Dam and after that the drive is through semi desert. The road is ramrod straight and extends endlessly into the distance. Either Tarun or I took the front seat to keep Tom our guest company. He was very shy in the beginning but gradually loosened up. He was nineteen and was aiming at college education for which he had applied for loans. He was well read and Tarun was able to engage him in conversation in electronics which was Tom's chosen subject.
When I took his side my topics were about his family. He was from a broken home like so many young people of this country. He was the only child of his parents but both his mother and father had children by their second marriages. He was not close to his father or mother but his step mother makes him feel welcome in her home. I then delicately slipped in the topic of sex in high schools in the US. In India young people feel very jealous of their US counterparts for the sexual freedom they are purported to enjoy. He told me he is a virgin as were many of his class mates though if asked they are apt to brag. Most girls of his class were virgins too though in most cases they lose their virginity before marriage in most cases to the man they marry. Of course more than a few do have a grand time. He often blushed when he a spoke of sex. On the whole he was interesting company.