My story begins on a bit of a down note. My company did some downsizing, and I made it to the last round but then got cut. Word around the water cooler was that it came down to me and one other guy, and they picked the other guy because he was a more forceful manager. Actually he was more of an asshole, but I didn't raise a stink. With the job market being slow, I decided to live on the severance package for the summer and spend some time writing the great American novel. Turns out the novel got derailed by an unexpected distraction.
The distraction came in the form of my young neighbor. The small study where I do my writing overlooks the backyard of my neighbors, Bob and Jean Martin, and they had recently put in a backyard pool. Since I was usually at work during the day I hadn't noticed the view from my desk. I could lean back in my chair and gaze out over the yard and enjoy the relaxing view of the sunlight sparkling on the blue water. Which was much easier than writing the great American novel, so I spent the first two hours of my first Monday unemployed watching the Martins' water sparkle. Then the view got more interesting.
What made it more interesting was the appearance of Martin's daughter Amanda, their college aged daughter. Her long shapely legs carried her across the yard like a model taking the catwalk, and when she stopped beside her chair and shrugged off her cover up my heart nearly stopped. She looked amazing, and her dark blue bikini left little to the imaginationโthough my imagination was in high gear. For the rest of the day, I sat there in the chair, watching my stunning neighbor lay out in the sun and occasionally take a dip in the pool. I spent about 10% of the time doing any writing.
The next day it was more of the same. Amanda came out about 11 am, dressed this time in an equally stunning yellow bikini, and had the sun not gone behind a cloud at 3 pm would've completely captivated my entire Tuesday. In addition to swimming and sunning, I noticed that she always had her laptop computer with her, which I guessed she was checking email on from time to time.
Wednesday I resolved to end my obsession and get some work done, but it was also the day I remembered I had some binoculars in the closet, and when my sexy young neighbor came out in a bright red bikini, I thought better of any work. It was a torturous distraction that had created an internal struggle of productivity vs. the enjoyment of beauty, and productivity was losing. By this time I had recollected that Amanda was 18, likely out of school for the summer. I also remembered that she was an only child and both of her parents were workaholics, so I knew she was home alone. While I was old enough to be her father, I couldn't help having fantasies that involved peeling that stunning red bikini off and ravishing her incredible body.
It was in the second hour of zero productivity that I saw Amanda get up and walk inside the house, and as fate would have it I was walking to the mail box when I saw her pull out in her car. We exchanged the usual friendly wave between neighbors, and I watched her drive off thinking that at last I could get some work done.
I went back up to the study and got back to the business of staring at the monitor, when I noticed a low roll of thunder and a darkening of the skies. Before long it started to rain, slowly at first and then more steadily. As I looked out at the rain falling in the neighbor's pool, I suddenly realized that Amanda had left her laptop outside by her chair. It wouldn't be long before it would be a useless heap of soggy electronics.
Without thinking, I jumped up, ran downstairs and out the backdoor, through the adjoining hedges and into the Martin's backyard. I grabbed up the laptop and headed for shelter under their partially covered deck. I set the laptop down on a table, flipped it open and watched it pop to life. I expected she would be mighty pleased with me for rescuing her computer. I was starting to fantasize about how pleased she would be when another thought train came through. How exactly was I going to explain how I had seen that her laptop was out? She would know I had been watching her from next door. As I contemplated this, I looked down to the screen and noticed that the window was open to Craig's Listโthe Missed Connections section. I chuckled to myself, as I thought about how I always looked at the section myself, it was always interesting to read about people trying to hook up.
The sound of the rain easing up jolted me back to the reality of the situation. I decided to take a chance that the rain was stopping. I grabbed a dry towel off the table, wrapped it around the laptop, put it back where it was under the chair, and prayed she wouldn't notice.
I went back through the hedges and up to the study, where I watched the skies apprehensively, expecting more rain, but luckily it cleared up. By the time Amanda walked back out into the backyard, the skies were blue. I held my breath nervously, but she seemed to be oblivious to the fact that the laptop had somehow run up to the deck, grabbed a towel and wrapped itself up to stay dry. Teenagers.
Later that afternoon I was bored and looking through the Missed Connections listings and had a crazy idea. Using an anonymous contact email (don't we all have one of those!) I posted the following ad: Blue Monday, Yellow on Tuesday, Wednesday in Red, what will Thursday's waterfront fashion show bring? I didn't post it with the idea of anything coming of it, even if she saw it, the wording was so convoluted it was unlikely she'd notice it. It was mostly just to rile up my fantasies.
Later that night, I checked back and someone had posted a response on the Missed Connections: Brown or Green? it read.
I chuckled to myself, thinking that someone was just humoring me. Just for kicks, I typed a response that said: Green sounds good.
The next day, right around 11 am, I was at my usual post not doing any writing, and Amanda strode out the back door and walked over to her tanning chair, where she struck a pose for a second standing there. Then she shrugged off her robe, and my heart jumped. She was wearing a green suit.
A flood of thoughts hit me, all at once and very hard. Was the green suit just a coincidence? If not, did she know it was me who posted the ad? And did she know that I had been watching her? Also, was I in big trouble?
I still had plausible deniability at this point, if I didn't respond at all there would be no verification. But something inside me had to know if she had worn the green suit as I had requested, or just randomly. She had her laptop out there with her, so if I posted something else, and she responded, it would end all doubt. It took me a few hours to gin up the courage, but I finally posted again: That green looks divine, but I wouldn't mind seeing the brown now. The ad posted around noon, and I watched her with apprehension every time she flipped open the laptop.
Around 12:30, she went inside. Time dragged on, and after about an hour I had decided, almost with relief, that the green suit had been a coincidence. Then she came out again, wearing the robe, walked over to the pool, stepped up gingerly onto the diving board, let the robe fall away, and gracefully dived into the poolโwearing a lovely brown bikini.
My heart stopped this time, and my head filled again. She was definitely reading the posts and acting on them, but did she know who she was talking to, and that the person she was talking to was watching her?
I watched her swim around for awhile, and then get out. She didn't look up my way, and I was fairly certain that she would not be able to see me looking at her.
I watched her sit down and flip up the laptop. This time the message came directly to my anonymous email.
So what do you think?
I briefly thought about the implications of flirting with the neighbor's daughter, then decided the hell with it.
"Brown is beautiful," I emailed back.
"Wow, so it really is you, are you watching me right now?"
ME: Yes, I'm sorry, I hope you aren't creeped out or anything, I just couldn't help but notice...
Amanda: So, you like to watch? LOL.
ME(sweating and shaking by now): Yes, watching beauty is a favorite pastime.
Amanda: Ah... you're sweet.
It was pretty wild watching her type and then seeing her responses. I was too freaked out at this point to push the conversation anywhere, and I was still wondering if she knew was talking to me. We chatted back and forth for a while, just chit chat kind of stuff, and about mid afternoon she packed up and went inside.
It wasn't until later that night that I got another email from her.
Amanda: What do you want me to wear tomorrow?
ME: Hmm. The red one is my favorite, how 'bout that one?
Amanda: Ok. I'm glad you didn't pick another color, I'm out of suits!
I didn't sleep well that night, mulling over everything that had happened and thinking about what would happen tomorrow. Clearly, she was flirting with me, but it was not at all clear that she knew who I was.
I didn't sleep much, but I was wide awake at 11 am when Amanda made her way out to the chair in her hot red bikini. She settled down on a towel and pulled out her laptop.
Amanda: So what do you think?
ME: Love it. You look awesome.
Amanda: Thanks. I like it that you watch.
ME: (couldn't think or type)
Amanda: Do you like how I'm sitting?