I was on holiday and just generally touring, wanting to see a bit of the country. At the time of this particular incident I was just heading north, aiming in the general direction of the Sunshine Coast. How long I stayed there depended on what I found to amuse me.
I'd just pulled out of Wyong, and was happily leaning on the accelerator when I spotted a group of young ladies up ahead, hitchhiking. Now if it had been a single young lady I'd have naturally pulled over and offered her a lift, not that I'd expect them to be silly enough to take it. A single girl hopping into a car with a stranger when you're way out in the country? A very silly idea.
However, I was driving a big 4WD and it was empty apart from me and some equipment. Seeing that there were three young ladies it seemed reasonable that they would agree to a ride and I'd have some congenial company for a while.
I pulled up next to them and greeted them.
"Ladies," I said. "I'm Brendan. I'm heading that-away and will be doing so for several hours yet. I have ample room and if you want to head that-away I have no objection to giving you a lift. Ah, I should clarify that. I have no objection provided you're all eighteen or older. I have no desire to be run in for contributing to the delinquency of a minor."
Blondie gave me a superior look.
"Really. Can't you tell that we're all eighteen or older? I'd have thought one look would tell you that."
"My dear girl," I said. "I may be a little slow at times but I'm not so stupid as to take a guess at a young lady's age. If I guess right or wrong you'd feel insulted. Mind you, if a woman was in her thirties I'd be willing to guess her age at around twenty five. No-one is offended to be told they look younger than they do, except for young people."
I gave her a big smile and continued.
"Anyway, as I said, I'm heading that-away, and if you want a ride hop in. Just yell when we reach your destination or turnoff, as I'm going straight."
The girls had a quick discussion and seemed to be in agreement and they all piled in. I planted my foot down again and away we went. We chatted a bit as we cruised along. They weren't actually going that far, they told me. Just to a little town about twenty kay down the road. I explained that I was just touring generally, having several months leave I was taking.
Now when you're travelling down a long straight stretch of road the time and the kilometres can pass quite quickly. I guess we'd been travelling for about half an hour when Carla, the blonde, checked her watch and seemed a bit surprised.
"Um, I'd have thought we'd have arrived at Bulong by now," she said. "Do you have any idea how far away it is?"
I did a quick estimation of how far I'd travelled since leaving Wyong, added another twenty or so to that and nodded.
"I have a rough idea," I told her. "I make it about eighty, eighty five, kay and increasing."
Instant pandemonium. Where was I taking them? What the hell did I think I was doing? I wouldn't get away with this? How dare I? And so on, with the girls being unanimous in their desire that I stop the car immediately.
I spotted a truckies break area ahead and pulled into it, engaging the door locks at the same time. The girls promptly tried to open the doors and jump out and became rather disturbed when the doors wouldn't open. Finally they shut up, just sitting and glaring at me.
"Carla," I said, addressing the blonde as she seemed to be the spokesperson for them. "If you wanted to go to Bulong why were you hitchhiking in the wrong direction out of Wylong. For that matter, if you'd told me that Bulong was your destination when you hopped in I'd have pointed out that you were going the wrong way. Don't blame me for your mistake."
That led to a rather acrimonious discussion between the girls as to whose fault it was, with no-one being willing to admit fault. Finally they shut up and Carla turned to me.
"Alright. It was our mistake. If you'll kindly unlock the doors we'll get out and hitchhike back."
"Not happening," I said flatly. "I am not leaving the three of you stranded here. You can just sit and sulk and I'll let you out at the next town."
Suzette had her phone in hand and was looking something up.
"You can't do that," she gasped. "The next town is Badalong Creek and that's another eighty kay. It'll take all day for us to get there and then we'll be stuck until we get a lift back."
"You might be lucky," I pointed out. "If we run into a decent diner along the road I don't mind dropping you off there."
"If," was Carla's bitter comment. "And if we don't we're stuck."
They argued amongst themselves and they tried to argue with me. I just didn't respond. They didn't really believe that I'd abandon three young women in the middle of nowhere, did they? I'd be in deep shit in my own eyes and the eyes of the police if anything happened to them.
It was Fiona, the relatively quiet one, who came up with what she saw as an equitable solution.
"You could always drive us back to Wyong," she told me. "It's only a half hour drive."
"But it's half an hour in the wrong direction," I pointed out.
"Not really," she said. "You've already said that your time is your own and you weren't going anywhere in particular, just that-away. Turning around and going this-away shouldn't make any real difference to you. As a matter of fact, if you kept going you could take us all the way to Bulong. It would add to your sight-seeing."
Carla and Suzette quickly chimed in, considering this a terrific idea. I wasn't quite so keen.
"I can see why you all think it's a good idea," I admitted, "but I wasn't the one who made the mistake. What's in it for me to backtrack and deliver you to Bulong when I can just as easily continue and drop you off at Badalong Creek."
Carla gave me a brilliant smile and somehow or other manage to improve on the cleavage she was showing.
"Well, gee, Brendan," she said in a sultry voice. "We'd be ever so grateful and I assure you we'd be more than willing to demonstrate that gratitude when we get to Bulong."
Yeah, I'd just bet they would. They'd be out of the car and running as soon as we reached Bulong, even if they had to climb out the windows.
"Uh-huh. I don't suppose you want to show me a little of that gratitude here and now?"
"Oh, we couldn't," came the fast excuse. "What if someone stopped to see if we needed help? We'd die of embarrassment if that happened. Besides, you haven't actually agreed to take us back."
"Uh-huh. Tell you what. I'll drive you to Bulong if you all take off your tops right now and give me a preview if the possible delights that await me."
"You're joking," said Fiona. "You expect us to get undressed while you drive us back? Not happening."
"I didn't say get undressed. I said take your tops off. Let's say that I do like to admire a fine chest. Actual nudity is contra-indicated in this hot weather. I'm sure you can understand my reluctance to having sweaty buttocks bouncing on my nice seats."
I wasn't totally surprised when Carla made a growling sound and whipped of her top and bra. She really had a magnificent rack. I admired them for a moment and then turned to look at the other two girls. There was some sotto voce grumbling and swearing but Fiona and Suzette took off their tops. Suzette's breasts ran a close second to Carla's for size but, oddly enough, it was Fiona's rather more modest B cup that I found most appealing. They were beautifully shaped and I gave her a sincere look of appreciation and a nod of approval.
Seeing I was in the truckies break area I had ample room to do a U-turn. Before I did so I took steps to remove a potential traffic hazard.
"Ladies, while I truly appreciate the scenery I'm afraid I have to ask you to get dressed again. There is no way I'll be able to pay attention to the road with darling like these bouncing around."
To emphasize my point I casually reached over and bounded one of Carla's breasts in my hand.
So the girls rushed to cover up again. Right? Wrong! Carla wanted to argue.
"Get dressed again? But you're the one who wanted us to take our tops off. We didn't want to do it."
Suzette and Fiona promptly backed her up, out of sheer perversity as far as I could tell.
"I know I did, but you can't seriously expect me to drive with your bodacious bodies distracting me," I pointed out. "Besides, you wouldn't only be distracting me but any drivers who pass. We could have semis running off the road all over the place."
The girls slowly put their things back on, smug smiles on their faces. And they took their own sweet time about doing it. I never knew that bras required so much adjustment to have them sit right.
There was a lot of talking and sniggering as we headed back and I was sure that a lot of the sniggering was at my expense. A lot? Probably all of it. I barely slowed as I passed through Wyong and it wasn't all that long before I was approaching Bulong.
"Bulong," I announced. "Do you want me to let you off on the outskirts or in the centre of town? Not that it makes much difference. From what I can see the centre of town is also the outskirts."
Not by any means one of the larger towns around, that was for sure.