Him

By the time I got back to New Mexico on Sunday night, I regretted exchanging phone numbers with Marie. I don't want to be her friend. She has the man I have loved unconditionally for twenty-five years. She is a hurdle I had to overcome in order to experience him again. I don't want to be asking her permission to enjoy Austin's body and his cock. I want to be the one giving permission. I don't mind sharing as long as I am a participant and it is my bed he comes home to every night.

"Hey. What's wrong?" Austin asks me on Tuesday when we talk. I know I am down, and it is clear in my voice.

"I can't do this anymore. I can't be the third wheel." I tell him. "It hurts too much knowing that after our encounters you two will be reminiscing together while I come home to an empty house and my memories."

"Sweetie. It's okay. You have given me a gift I will always treasure" he tells me. "It was a total surprise. I enjoyed kissing you, touching you, tasting you. But I can understand how you must feel and can't blame you for wanting to end this threesome. However, I still haven't been inside you, and I need to be."

I barely keep it together for the rest of our conversation. We will still talk, but I won't be running into them at random places around Louisiana. After we hang up, I break down sobbing and spend the rest of the day in bed.

_____

"Hello?" I answer the phone a couple days later without looking to see who was calling. I am still emotionally raw, but life goes on. I have a job and responsibilities I have to attend to.

"Hi Lynn! It's Marie. How's it going?" A knot forms in my stomach at hearing her voice. Since talking with Austin, I have been trying to figure out how to end our friendship without hurting her relationship with Austin. As much as I want to tell her about our history, I wouldn't do that to him. Instead, I give her the story I came up with.

With a deep breath, I try to use a cheery voice, "Hi Marie! I am doing great! I found out yesterday that I got a promotion! The only bummer part is that I have to move back to New Mexico. And just when I have started making friends." I hope she buys it. I actually work from home and even with a promotion, I could potentially work from anywhere.

"Congratulations! I was calling to see if you wanted to go out this weekend. But I guess you'll be packing." I hear the disappointment in her voice.

Still in a cheery voice, I reply, "One good thing is that I haven't been here long, and a lot of my stuff is still packed. The movers will be here on Saturday morning and I start driving to New Mexico that afternoon. I wish I had time to see you before I left." I think I threw up in my mouth a little at that.

"I would also like to thank you for what you shared with Austin and me. I have never experienced anything like that and had never even dreamed of being with another woman. You have woken something in me that I don't know if I will ever be able to experience again. Thank you."

"No need to thank me. I assure you it was a selfish act. I saw you and wanted you," I lied to her, "Then I saw Austin and wanted both of you. So, I must thank you for sharing. But hey, the movers are on the other line. I need to go. Take care of yourself. And thank Austin for the memories."

I hear her answering, "Okay. You too" as I hang up. With a sigh of relief, I lean back in my office chair. I am feeling relieved knowing that she is now mostly out of my life. However, she is still in his. And will be for the foreseeable future.

_____

Three months later: My divorce is finalized. Single again after almost 21 years.

_____

Another four months later: I get a nice surprise one Thursday afternoon. Austin calls outside of his usual time frame.

"What are you doing next Thursday night?" he asks me.

"I don't have anything planned," as usual. "Why? What's up?"

"I need to haul a load from Louisiana to Bakersfield, California. I'll be stopping in Albuquerque."

My heart begins to race. But then I remember how every time we have tried to rendezvous before, the fates made sure it didn't happen. The excitement quickly lessens. "Albuquerque isn't far from me. I could meet up with you there."

"Why don't you sound excited?" he asks.

"Well, the last three times we tried to get together, before I met Marie and everything that happened between the three of us, something always kept us from connecting. I don't want to get my hopes up just to have them crushed again." I explain to him.

"Yeah. We do tend to have the shittiest luck. I have a feeling this time will be different."

"We'll see. Let me know where you plan on staying when you figure it out. I will take Thursday and Friday off." I also offer my services as navigator, "And of course, if your plans change while on the road, give me a call and I will help you find a new place for the night."

Starting the following Wednesday, the updates on progress begin. He gets from Baton Rouge to Amarillo, Texas. A stop in Dallas kept us from meeting in Las Cruces last time. With apprehension, I wait for the call on Thursday morning; Will he be able to get out of town early enough to make it to Albuquerque?

At 8am, the phone rings. "Hey sweetie. I am out of Amarillo and on I-40. I was able to start driving at 4am. I should be in Albuquerque by 11am."

Now I start getting excited. This is finally going to happen. Just me and him.

I get myself cleaned up; showered, shampooed, and shaved, everywhere. I pack a small overnight bag that includes my toys, the ones he knows about and a new one. At 10am, I head to the Route 66 Hotel and Casino. They have a large parking lot for rigs and being on the west side of Albuquerque, will let Austin get an early start without dealing with traffic. It's also a scenic 45 minutes from where I live, so double bonus.

I arrive at the hotel's travel center at 10:45. It was hard not flooring the accelerator all the way there. I park at the side of the building so I can see the cars and trucks arriving. At 11:10, he arrives. I get out of my car and lean on it, watching him park. After a minute of doing paperwork, he hops out of the cab with his bag, and walks (or stalks?) towards me.

My heart immediately begins to race. At a hundred feet between us, my breathing gets heavy. At fifty feet, the tingles start. At twenty-five feet, I begin to tremble. At ten feet, I feel myself getting wet. Then, he is within touching distance.

Without missing a step, he drops his bag to the ground, presses up against me, cups my face in his hands, and kisses me, softly yet deeply. His kiss feels like salvation, releasing me from a pain I have carried for many years. His lips are soft against mine, our tongues reacquainting in a dance almost forgotten.

My arms wrap around his waist, pulling him to me. His hips push against mine and I feel his length against my belly. Our hands begin to wander. His move from my face to my neck, a light touch that almost tickles, to my shoulders and down my arms to my waist. Mine move from his waist, up his back, and around to his shoulders.

We are lost in each other. Forgetting where we are. A rig honks his horn, bringing us back to reality as the driver essentially catcalls us as he passes by.

"Hi babe." I say to Austin once we break our kiss. It came out rather breathily as I was trying to inhale fresh oxygen after that initial greeting.

"Hi." He simply responds with a smile.

He grabs his bag and puts it in the backseat of my car, and we drive the short distance to the hotel. We check in and go up to our room on the fifth floor.

"Are you hungry?" He asks me.

"I could eat." I would personally prefer to have him for lunch, but I have the feeling that I will need real sustenance for the rest of the afternoon and night.

"Let's go downstairs and see what the restaurants have to offer."

We decide to eat at the Main Street Restaurant. It is next to the casino floor, so we were able to people watch as we talked and ate. Throughout the meal, it seemed that he was hiding something. It was a look in his eye, a slight distraction during our conversation.

"What's up?" I ask him. "You have a mischievous look on your face."

"Do I? Just thinking about stuff. I'll tell you about it later." With his response, I think the look got even more playful. "Want to hit the casino for a little bit?"

"Not really. I really just want to go upstairs with you and catch up."

"Just for an hour. It'll be fun."

For the first ten minutes, we play slot machines side by side. We are staying even with our losses. I am having some fairly good luck on my machine, but Austin isn't.

"I'm going to head over there and see if I have any luck on those machines." He tells me as he points towards another section of games.

"Okay. I'll look for you when my luck runs out."

After another ten minutes, I am ready to move on to another game. I look for Austin in the area he said he would be but can't find him. Figuring that he just moved to another batch of games, I wander the floor looking for him. And looking.

Deciding to stay put and have him find me, I settle in at another game and insert my voucher. I had been playing, and winning, for about 15 minutes when I feel hands on my shoulders. Looking up, Austin is watching me play.

"Are you ready to go?" He asks. I swear, that grin he has had on his face since lunch is even bigger. What is he up to?

"Sure. Let me cash out right quick. By the way, where have you been? I was looking for you."

"Really? I have been trying different slot machines. Must have not seen me." He answers.

I collect my winnings and we head to the elevators. Once we are standing in the hallway outside our room, he asks, "Do you trust me?"

My brows furrow at the question wondering where it came from. "Of course. Why?"

"You fulfilled one of my fantasies. Now, I want to fulfill one of yours."

I gulp. I have shared many fantasies with him over the years, some more risqué than others. I am suddenly nervous, yet excited. I think more nervous.

I respond with a drawn out, "Okay."

"You have told me many times that you are tired of being the one in control. The one responsible for all the decisions. The one responsible for making sure things get done. I am taking that responsibility, that control, away from you. You must do as I say with no questions. Trust me to take care of you."

Oh hell.

"Close your eyes." I do as he says. I hear him open the door to the room. He gently takes my arms and guides me into the room. The door closes behind us.

The room has the standard layout of the bathroom to the right or left of the door, then a closet, then the beds. In this case, two queen-sized beds. A dresser is across from the beds with a tv on top. Near the window on one side of the room is a desk and, on the other side, a chair with a footrest and lamp. I saw all this when we dropped of our bags before lunch.

Still holding my arms, my eyes closed, he guides me deep into the room. I estimate that once we are past the beds, he guides me to the chair by the window and sits me down.

"You may lean back and relax, but do not open your eyes. I will know if you do." I do as he says.

I hear him emptying his pockets, placing change on the dresser. Then, it sounds like he is taking off his shirt. The telltale sound of his zipper confirms to me that he is undressing. A different zipper sound as he opens his bag. I hear him pulling something out of it. The sound of footsteps as he walks away from me. The shower is turned on then the shower curtain rustles as it is closed.

Keeping my eyes closed, I relax in the chair as Austin showers. I think of the fantasies that this may be leading to. There are several.

I am worried because giving up control is not easy for me. Case in point, the last time I was with Austin and Marie in Shreveport, they tried to control the encounter, but I had to take some of that control back. However, I do have to admit that the control I did give away was rather pleasurable. This might not be so bad. All I can say is that I will try.

I am half asleep when Austin turns off the shower. The smell of his soap and shampoo wafts to the back of the room to where I am sitting. I hear him toweling off. A buzzing starts. I believe it is an electric razor. He is trimming his beard.

I hear him leaving the bathroom and walking towards me. I hear the bed sheets rustling. He walks towards me again. He stops in front of me. I can feel the heat from the shower radiating off him. I clearly smell his soap and shampoo now.

"Did you open your eyes?" He asks.

"No."

"Good girl."

He takes my hands and gently pulls me to my feet. He turns me around. I see the light from the window through my closed eyelids. That light disappears as he puts something silky over my eyes and pulls a band to the back of my head. A sleep mask. His. I can smell him on it.

"There. To ensure no peeking." Austin says with a serious note as he turns me back around.

He places soft kisses on my forehead, tip of my nose, then my lips. He takes my hands and guides me a few steps away. I am guessing between the beds.

"You have no idea how much I have wanted you." he says as his hands release mine. I feel him at the buttons of my shirt, slowly exposing me to him. He slips my shirt off my shoulders. "I apologize for disappearing earlier. I had to come up here to get things ready for you."

My heart starts racing more at that admission than from the kisses he is placing on my neck and shoulder.

I feel his hands wrap around to my back. There is a slight tugging as he unhooks my bra. I begin to shrug out of it, but firm hands keep it on my shoulders as he whispers in my ear, "No. This is my treat. I get to undress you. You don't have to do anything."

A pulsing begins between my legs with that statement. He loosens his grip on my shoulders. One finger begins sliding the strap off my left shoulder. Kisses follow close behind. He moves my arm to remove the strap entirely. My left nipple puckers as it is exposed to the air-conditioned room.

Austin's hand moves up my belly to cup my breast from below. He caresses it several times. He raises it again, but this time, I feel him bend down slightly. The areola feels cool as it gets wettened by his tongue. The nipple hardens. Warm air is blown across its peak. He continues teasing my breast with his tongue and breath until he finally takes it into his mouth.

He gives a hard suck, which I feel at my clit. His teeth bite down gently on my nipple until I moan. With a pop, he releases it.

He pushes the other bra strap off my shoulder. I feel the bra hit my foot as it lands on the floor. Austin takes a breast in each hand, squeezing them, pushing them together. I imagine he is envisioning his cock buried between the ample mounds.

He removes his hands from me and steps away. I can feel his eyes on me. I want to hide myself, my imperfections from the time that has passed. I feel a tug on my pants. He opens the button and lowers the zipper. With a hand on each hip, he pushes them down. I feel the cold air from the air conditioning on my backside. The panties came down too.

He again takes my hands, turns me slightly, and backs me up two steps. He releases my hands and pushes down gently on my shoulders so that I am sitting on the edge of the bed.

I sense him kneeling on the floor before me. He lifts one foot and removes the shoe and sock. He does the same with the other. As he stands, my legs lift. He is holding the cuffs of my pants. He tugs them off me and my feet drop back to the floor. I can feel my panties above my knees.

"You are so sexy like that." He tells me. If I didn't have the sleep mask on, he would see me roll my eyes. "I wish you could see yourself as I see you."

He places his hands on my upper thighs. I feel the pressure as he lowers himself to kneeling again. He leans forward and takes my mouth with his. After breaking the kiss, his hands move down my thighs, then down my legs, taking the panties with them.

"Lean back. I'll help position you in the center of the bed." He instructs me. After I comply, he asks, "Are you comfortable?"

I nod in the affirmative.

I hear Austin moving around the bed. The bed moves as he pulls something out from underneath.

"Do you trust me?" He asks again.

"Yes." I say.

I feel something placed around my right wrist. Then my right foot. He walks to the other side of the bed and places that something around my left wrist and foot. The addition of the somethings on my left side has caused my hands and legs to splay. I am lying there spread eagle.

Oh, double hell. I know which fantasy this is.

I begin sucking on my lip, wondering where he will start. It wasn't where I expected.

"So, let's see what you brought with you. I am going to look through your bag." He tells me. I feel my overnight bag being placed on the bed between my legs.

I hear the zipper open.

"Clean shirt, pants, and underwear. I need to buy you some sexier undies." I feel him lay those on the bed next to my foot.

"This must be your toiletries." I hear the bag being unzipped and him rifling through it.

"I'll set this in the bathroom for you." I hear him walk away and the distinctive thud as he places it on the countertop. He walks back over to the bed.

"I recognize this." I know he just got to the brown case that I keep my toys in. I hear it being unzipped. "Oh yes. I hoped you would bring your toy chest. But what's this? Something new?"

"Yes. Something new." I reply.

"We can get some use out of this."

I feel him picking up my clothes and my bag and move them to the other bed. He places something else (my toy box?) on the nightstand. I hear him moving again. He is between my feet. He starts to gently massage my feet.

"Are they too tight?" He asks about the bindings.

"No." I think that if I really wanted to, I could slip my bindings. But I don't want to.

His hands work up my calves. When he gets to my knees, I feel the bed settle as he climbs on. He slowly crawls up the bed, between my legs, as his hands roam higher. After what seems like forever, they are at my apex.

"Such a beautiful sight. You spread open for me. I am going to make you scream tonight. This is all for you." I shiver at the words.

I feel him laying down between my legs, his face close to my pussy, his exhales warm against the sensitive skin. His hands return to my pussy. I feel his thumbs spreading me open even further.

"Gorgeous. You are almost dripping already." He says before taking a first taste. His tongue slides up my slit. When he reaches the nub, I jerk involuntarily from the sensation. He sucks the lips into his mouth. The sensation is interesting as it fires different nerves that I am used to activating when I masturbate.

He starts eating me out in earnest. He sucks on my clit, using his tongue to gently push back the hood. When I start twitching, he backs off and laps up the juices pooling at my opening.

I may be dripping wet, I may be excited and wanting more, but I am nowhere near having an orgasm. I move my hips trying to force some response indicating an orgasm is possible. After ten minutes of his ministrations, I consider faking it so that Austin can have some relief.

"Baby," I say to him, "Stop. It isn't happening." It saddens me to say this. He knows I have a very difficult time reaching orgasm with another person. I usually fake it so that my partner can have their own without feeling like they disappointed me. It's not that I can't have an orgasm; I can give myself one within two minutes when I am primed. It's just that I am overly self-conscious about the sounds I make (or should make?) during sex, I am not sure how to best move for mine and my partners enjoyment, and I am overly critical about my body.