Help Me Lose My Mind - the White Velvet Remix

I met him at a house party on a random Saturday night two weeks ago.

Being invited by a good friend of mine, my plan was to go hang out with friends, have a couple of drinks, and maybe hook up with a random stranger for some much needed stress relief ahead of my exams. And for the first hour or so, that's exactly what happened. But...then I met him.

What started off as nice conversation under a gorgeous night sky with friends and a perfectly made gin and tonic, turned into an intense staring contest, then quickly escalated to a battle for control. Twenty questions style. While I'd like to think I at least put up a good fight, in the end, I couldn't resist the proverbial red string pulling both of us together.

We then proceeded to spend the next twelve or so hours together, experiencing a total sexual high I was certain I'd never experience again. The next day, he kindly drove me home after a long leisurely Sunday morning of "getting to know each other" underneath an incredibly cozy, grey and white striped duvet. The relatively long ride was spent chatting about any topic that came to mind, then made promises to call each other over intimate kisses and hungry bites to the lips.

Then I didn't hear from him. At all. Not even a text.

So you can see how it would be a bit of a shock when, at dinner with my visiting mother and sister, I walked back from the bathroom to find him standing at the restaurant entrance, casually shaking hands with three guys around his age. The faint sound of his sultry laugh and his beautiful smile had me standing dead in my tracks, admiring the put-together but casual look of an untucked light blue oxford shirt with the sleeves rolled up, dark wash jeans and polished dark brown boots.

My mind spun with how fast it was trying to process all the feelings running through it at that moment. Anger, frustration, hurt, passion, lust...love?

The crashing waves of emotions made my heart race as I clenched my hands at my sides, watching the three guys he was with leave the restaurant. My breath quickened as he turned to face me, and all the memories from that night drowned any comprehensible thought left in my brain. His eyes widened when I brushed past him, pushing open the restaurant's heavy dark wood door and stepped out into the mild spring air.

I walked around the side of the all red brick Italian restaurant, trying desperately to control my emotions, even though the heat of his stare skimming over my back made me feel deliciously naked. 'No, not now. Remember the past two weeks'.

I stopped in the small alleyway between the restaurant's beautiful outdoor patio and a tall, glass office building. Taking a deep breath to try and calm myself, I stared off into the distance; incredibly angry, but feeling ridiculous for leaving, wondering why I did any of it at all.

It might've been the need for some air and to find a quiet place to gather my thoughts. It might've been to force myself to get away from him, just to resist the greater urge to be as close to him as possible. Or maybe I wasn't thinking at all, and it was the first instinct my body latched onto that wasn't just hauling off and punching him.

His footsteps were barely heard over the noisy rush hour traffic, and it had me jump a little when I felt his hand lightly turning me around to kiss me. Slow and soft, but with so much passion that it made my eyes water with the pent-up frustration I've been harboring for the past two weeks. The warmth of his hand sliding over my skin-tight, white velvet dress scorched me as his fingers caressed the back of my neck, making me shiver with excitement. The contrasting, tantalizing sensations only added to the frustration boiling deep inside me.

My hands slid up his chest, and I shoved him away from me, smacking him hard across the face. After seeing the shocked look on his face, I wondered for a split second if the smack stung him just as much as it did my hand. Then I remembered how much my heart ached for him the past two weeks, and suddenly my hand didn't feel as bad.

"Two weeks," I shouted. "Two fucking weeks since that party."

"Can I explain..."

"What's there to explain? You obviously didn't feel the same way I did after that night."

"You honestly can say that after the way I just fucking kissed you?"

"I believed it when you said you would call after you drove me home in the morning, and we spent...I don't know...a good ten minutes in your car making out. And look where we are now."

"Oh come on," he said, scoffing. "I..."

"You know," I said, never feeling so upset with someone before. "I probably wouldn't have minded if it was just one night. If we both drank way too much, found somewhere quiet, and you screwed my brains out until we were both happy and satisfied. Then we'd wake up, agree that it was just one night, and pretend like nothing ever happened between us. I would've been just fine with that. But it wasn't just that. Was it?"

He stood there staring at me, waiting for me to speak with a look of indignation on his face. Good. He deserved it.

"We got to know each other the next morning. We spoke about our lives, our families, our likes and dislikes, aspirations and fantasies," I choked out in an unsteady voice. "When you teased me with kisses as I rattled off all the things that turned me on. Then the incredible sex afterwards. I'd never felt so loved from anyone I'd ever been with before, let alone a person I'd just met less than twenty-four hours before. It was slow and beautiful; completely opposite to the intense, rough sex we had during the party..."

"What about you? I haven't heard from you in two weeks."

"Because you said you would fucking call!"

"And I can explain why I didn't," he sighed. "But I'm not the only one who's guilty here. You easily could've called, but you left it up to me."

The calm but firm tone in his voice had me flinch, stepping slightly backwards. It made me even more frustrated that it wasn't because I wasn't afraid. "I wanted to call..."

"Don't pull that 'I wanted to call you, but I didn't know if you liked me that way' bullshit, I know you're not like that." His piercing eyes stared down into mine as he waited for my answer. "Why didn't you call?"

My back hit the red brick wall, the cool roughness of it jarring me out of my own thoughts as his hand trapped me in between his arm and the ivy lined cedar gate surrounding the outdoor patio. Thankfully, the patio was closed for what looked to be an event later on tonight, so there wasn't anyone around to witness what was going on between us. Just rows and rows of square tables in the same slatted cedar as the pergola and matching chairs, topped with soft white cushions. Pristine white table cloths covered some of the tables while others laid bare with just the chairs tipped over them. White string lights adorned the entire length of three walls enclosing the patio, creating an elegant and comfortable atmosphere for the family-owned Italian restaurant.

A sigh left my mouth when his eyebrow arched and waited patiently for my answer. Guess I wasn't going to win this battle either.

"That night was hands down the best night I've had with anyone," I said, my lips curling into a small smile. "I never expected to leave the party with someone I actually wanted to see again. You and that night have been the only things on my mind for the past two weeks. And that scared me. I have so much work and studying to do before my exams. You know it's really hard to study when all you can think about is how good someone fucked you?"

The deep chuckle and the warm caress of his hand on my flushed cheek forced a shudder over my body. His fingers brushed a stray tendril of hair behind my ear, and I couldn't help but lean into his touch; detecting a bit of his wonderfully distinct scent mixed with the same cologne he wore that night. "I think I can relate."

"Then came the stress of whether I can pass my exams, on top of forcing myself not to think about you so I could concentrate, and then the wondering of 'why hadn't you called yet' made me kind of a mess." I sighed when his fingers danced over the column of my neck. "I really wanted to call you. You don't know how bad I wanted to hear your voice again."

The small smile that formed on his lips made me let out an exhale I didn't know I was holding in. He leaned his head down and kissed me, his soft lips gliding over mine as his tongue easily slid between my parted lips. The memory of his kisses that night had me biting back a moan when his lips left mine.

"So, what's your excuse?" I asked in a daze.

He laughed. "Well, like you, I've also had projects and exams to prepare for. I've also been busy looking into internships for the past month. Plus, I've had my little brother and two of my friends here for the past week, so that's been taking up some of my time..."

"Ok ok," I said, groaning at my own stupidity. "I get it now. And I really am sorry for smacking you, it was just a gut reaction to all the frustration. I swear I'm not really like that."

The lights around the patio suddenly turned on as the spring sun began to set, casting a warm pink and orange glow all around us. Distant sounds of car horns and random passersby mixed with the low strumming of a far off guitar had me leaning my head back against the wall, savoring the moment when lips softly kissed my forehead.

"Can we both agree that life got in the way?"

I slowly nodded, running my hand back up the soft cotton of his shirt to the back of his neck. "Kiss me," I said low into the cool evening air.

He smiled and lightly caressed his hands up and down my sides. A small moan slipped from my lips when he slowly pulled me into him and leaned down to kiss me. Soft teasing kisses led way to rougher ones when my leg slid in between his. His arms squeezed harder and he let out a low moan as my bare thigh slid against the growing bulge pushing against his jeans. Both of us in need of air, we both pulled away and his lips moved to kiss where my ear met my jaw, causing a half-hearted attempt by me to keep quiet.

"I need to get back to my table," I said, sighing as his fingers played dangerously close to the hem of my dress. "I'm still here with my family."

His groan half made me want to skip the dinner. And if it was anyone but my family, I just might've.

"A glass of wine tonight?" He said, lightly kissing my neck. "At my place?"

A thoughtful hum left my lips. "Just a glass of wine? I might need a little more than that to entice me to join you. I could be studying instead."

He bit my neck right under my ear, making me gasp and let out a small yelp. "Is this enough to entice you, sweetheart?" He asked in that entrancing husky voice.

That'll work. "I have to take my mother and sister to the airport, so about...ten?"

"That sounds good to me."

~~~~~

After we said our goodbyes, I went back in the restaurant and had a nice dinner with my family. I apologized, quickly explaining how a friend I hadn't seen in a while was having dinner here, and we ended up chatting for a few minutes. I mean it wasn't wrong, it just wouldn't be proper dinner etiquette to explain how "that friend" and I hooked up at a party and we fucked pretty much the entire night. After dinner, I took them to the airport and drove back to his house, conveniently finding it was only around a ten minute drive from mine.

The modern, dark brick townhouse sat identical to the other townhouses in the perfectly landscaped neighborhood. A small and simple assortment of trees and shrubbery perfectly lined around the front of the house. My heart fluttered when I saw the familiar black SUV parked in the driveway, and thoughts of that night hazily drifted through my mind. I let out a soft sigh as I got out of the car and made sure to lock it, knowing I wouldn't be back anytime soon.

He answered the door in a loose fitting steel blue t-shirt and matching lounge pants. Really, no one should look this good in pajamas, thinking back to my pj shorts and worn-in, over-sized gymnastics t-shirts. After greeting each other with a long kiss, I set my things on the small table near the front of the door, and he began showing me around his place. The house was well decorated in various shades of brown, black and gold with dark leather furniture and a gorgeous stone fireplace already lit with a warm and cozy fire. Most of all it was clean, which is more than I can say for some of the other guys I've dated.

"Do you mind if I use your bathroom? Need to freshen up."

"Not at all, take your time. I'll be down in the kitchen when you're done."

After a quick use of the bathroom and touching up my makeup, I passed by his bedroom again along the way back to the kitchen. The bedroom had most of the same color scheme as the rest of the house, with a comfortable over-sized brown leather chair and matching ottoman in one of the corners, opposite the four king size mahogany poster bed. The bed was covered in soft and cozy bedding with pillows perfectly positioned on the bed. The thing that caught my eye though was the shirt he was wearing haphazardly thrown onto the bed along with his jeans; the only out of place things in the otherwise immaculately clean room.

My bare feet carried me across the soft beige carpet to his bed, and I began taking off my dress, laying it on the bed next to his clothes. I slipped the thigh length shirt on and buttoned it up to the top two buttons, leaving only my white lace bra and panties on and showing a healthy amount of cleavage. The shirt was so soft and smelled of him, making my head spin and my eyes close as I vaguely heard the light melodic flourish of a piano from the corner mounted speakers. The further I walked out of his room and downstairs to the kitchen, the more I began to hear the light jazz piano flowing all throughout the house.

When I walked into the kitchen, his back was turned to me, walking over to the black steel double door fridge. The large center island with a gorgeous dark and light brown granite countertop was the focal point of the kitchen, with a small and somewhat deep circular sink at the end of the island. The other end had a bottle of Pinot Noir, two red wine glasses, and a small cheese board filled with various meats, cheeses and fruits. Yep, definitely not like the other guys I've dated.

"I'm just finishing up, go ahead and take a seat."

I jumped up onto the counter next to everything and smiled when he turned around; lips curled into that sexy smirk I remembered all too well. "I hope this is okay?" I asked, already knowing my answer.

"More than okay," he said and walked over to me, skimming a finger over my thigh at the hem of his shirt. "You look really good in my shirt."

"I was a little warm and felt overdressed. Wanted something more comfortable."

He chuckled. "Good choice."

"Everything looks delicious."

"Thank you," he poured me a glass of wine. "Go ahead and help yourself."

What felt like minutes was almost two hours sitting at his kitchen island, chatting about whatever came to our mind; what had been going on in the past two weeks to what we were currently watching and everything in between. It was nice to know we can still have a normal conversation without reverting straight into sex, although it clearly was on both of our minds. One light touch turned into many teasing kisses, all while intimately feeding each other in the middle of the warmly dimmed kitchen.

I plucked a small, red grape from the almost eaten bunch and playfully tossed it into my mouth, savoring the bittersweet taste. "Never thought a one night stand might actually turn into something," I laughed, surprised at the slight uneasiness that showed through it.

He hummed as he finished off his current glass of wine. Neither of us were necessarily drunk, but we did lose count somewhere in the past two hours. "Let's start over."

My eyebrows furrowed.

"No no," he said, kissing my temple at the worried look on my face. "I don't think I could ever forget that night. What I meant was how about we take things slow, really get to know each other, and see where it goes. We don't need to put pressure on it."

I grabbed my glass and tilted my head back to finish the rest of my wine. I've been in a few relationship and never had a terribly bad breakup. My parents are happily married of almost twenty-two years, and my sister was recently engaged to her high school sweetheart of nine years. Despite all the happy relationships in my life, there was still something deep inside the pit of my stomach that made me nervous about committing to a relationship with him. But...I really wanted to try.

"I will accept your proposal, but I do have one very important stipulation. This must be met if we can go forward with this matter." Why am I such a dork sometimes?

His laugh sent a shiver down my spine. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. "Oh? And what's that?"

"You are fucking me tonight. And don't worry, I'll never forget that night. I'm still reeling from it."

He grabbed the glass I was anxiously playing with out of my hand and set it on the counter, his eyes never leaving mine. "You really think you're leaving here without me spreading you out on my bed, slowly eating you out as the sun rises though my windows? Or sliding into you as those pretty nails dig into my back?"

"You know..." Damn, I could literally feel my cheeks reddened. "The house tour was great and all, but I might need a more...in depth tour upstairs. It was a little too quick for my liking."

My lips wrapped around the plump strawberry he held to my mouth, biting it as leaned into my ear and whispered, "What kind of host would I be if I didn't fulfill all of my guest's requests."

As we cleaned up the small mess we made, every sound sent shivers over my body; the click of plates and silverware, the open and close of the refrigerator, and the clink of the wine glasses as I neatly placed them in the drying rack. Every single sound, every movement reminded me of his presence, of where I was, and it only served to both scare and excite me.

We then went around the house, making sure everything was off as our soft touches and playful gazes tempted us for what was to come. The only semblance of light in his place came from the street lamps casting a dim, soft yellow glow through the closed curtains and the frosted panels of the dark wood front door. I watched as his fingers turned the gold plated lock with ease, and smiled when he walked over and kissed me.

Warm lips caressed over mine. Large hands slipped over my ass, pulling me closer to him while pushing me deeper against the cold, cream colored wall. This fucking perfect song doing a number on my sanity, as the scent of him suffocated me in the best way possible. All of it tempting me to give into something I haven't wanted at all in the last two years, and told myself I didn't want for a very long time.

"While I'm not opposed to fucking you against this wall," he said, whispering into my ear and knocking me out of my dazed contemplation. "Having you on my bed is all I've been thinking about since you knocked on my door."

Breaking from my own thoughts, I pondered both scenarios for a second, then laced his fingers with mine and walked upstairs with him in tow. I knew we would have plenty of other opportunities to fully explore every area of his house. "That thought might've skimmed my mind a few times," I said, grinning when I felt his hand caress my hip as he opened his bedroom door.

I turned down the bedding and grabbed my dress, tossing it onto the armchair along with his jeans. I sat back down on the incredibly soft bed and traced the intricate design of the posters as I watched him carefully light a few candles he had sitting on the dresser; the spicy scent of cinnamon wafting throughout the room. "Maybe next time I'm over here, we could test out how sturdy these beams are?" I asked, waiting for his reaction as he turned to look at me. Sadly, the only thing I got out of him was a blank stare and the slightest hint of a raised eyebrow.