This was my first story. I guess it's a little bit of fact and a little bit of fiction too. I hope you enjoy it. If you do like this one, a second story about Hari and Hannah is called 'Try A Little Tenderness'.
I dig my hands deep in the sink, not minding the heat of the water or the soap suds clinging to my arms. The view out the window is softening, darkening down from the intense heat of the long afternoon. I can hear Margo, Dan and Becca laughing as they carry the garden chairs from the back garden to the front, chatting and laughing together, enjoying the shared chore, the anticipation of the carnival parade and fireworks. A warm silken brush across my calves momentarily startles me, then sends a shiver of pleasure up my spine.
'Oscar!' I smile as I look down at the huge marmalade cat stalking his way around the kitchen perimeter. I laugh as the shiver turns to goose bumps, that prickle along my arms and legs. The day's heat is definitely dissipating somewhat, but I know my physical response is about more than just Oscar's touch. The day has been warm and languorous. Lunch in the garden. Crunchy lettuce leaves, juicy beef burgers and sweet sticky fruit. Ice cubes chinking in the heavy glass, bumping up against my lips. Licking fingers and tying my hair up high, hungry for the slightest breeze on my neck. Drowsing in the sun, watching the others floating in the pool. The way Becca and Dan touch each other -- on the shoulder, the elbow, the small of her back, the nape of his neck -- so tenderly. Wondering at Margo's astonishing red hair as it gleamed and dried, long down her back, following the twists and flicks of her fingers as she braided it. Seeing her excitement at the sound of Eli's truck as he pulled up the gravel driveway and she walked with that characteristic sway towards the front of the house to greet him. Returning with his arm draped around her shoulders, a hand tucked into her dress strap at the shoulder. As the afternoon wore on, more people had begun to arrive, gathering in time for drinks and then the passing of the carnival parade, right along the road here. Margo and Eli had been so excited to buy this place for this very reason.
'Imagine the parties!' she'd exclaimed as we'd pored over the realtor's details on the laptop screen. 'It'll be so fun!'
I'd cleared away some of the lunch detritus, given the table a scrub with a wet cloth, and then had gone upstairs to wash and change. I felt alive and expectant as I stood under the shower, stroking the soap along my arms and through my long hair. It tingled a little -- true I had caught some sun -- but that wasn't the whole reason for feeling so sensitive. Tipping my head back to rinse my hair, I thought back to last night, specifically to when Hari had looked at me across the restaurant table and, as the rest of the party had been focused on frantically curtailing the spill of water from the overturned jug, flapping about with napkins and shuffling chairs out of the way, he had held my gaze for what felt like a very long time. The look felt like it was more than the friendly intimacy we had been used to. It was hungry. And I had looked back at him, willing myself not to turn away but to allow him to look into me. Until Margo has started swatting at the table right in front of me with bunched up napkins and squealing at me to move out of the way of the runaway water. By the time I was ready to look up at him again, he was discussing the menu with Jackson. But the heat of his look didn't leave me for the rest of the meal. And as he had poured the last of the wine into my glass, he'd looked at me again, this time with a half smile that brought specks of light into those dark brown eyes. It had been a while since I'd last seen him -- two, maybe three years? His temples had turned grey, but he looked like he'd taken up running or cycling or something. I mentioned this.
'Kept me busy out there,' he'd replied. 'Geneva's pretty boring.'
I'd smiled. I didn't know if Geneva was to blame or not, but he sure looked good for whatever reason.
'You still taking ballet classes?' he'd asked me in return.
I wondered if he was fishing for reasons to keep talking to me, or if he was just being polite, so I flustered and said; 'Yes, although I'm getting a bit old for it.'
And he'd laughed and shaken his head at me. I'd found it hard to sleep after that.
When he'd arrived at the house for lunch today I'd been chopping tomatoes in the kitchen. He'd walked in, carrying beer in one hand and flowers in the other. He'd lifted both up and raised his eyebrows.
I pointed towards the refrigerator with one hand and said, 'Put the flowers here,' indicating with my other hand, 'and I'll see if I can find a vase for Margo in a minute.'
'Who said they were for Margo?' he'd asked and had held them out to me.
'For me?' I was startled. 'Why?'
He'd laughed again -- a sort of bark of delight -- and simply put them down on the countertop in front of me. 'Why not?'
He started to lean in towards me when Margo pushed open the patio door and we both drew back, like kids. I started chopping at the tomatoes again, having to concentrate so I didn't chop my own shaking fingers off, and as she bustled loudly and busily through the kitchen, I managed to look up again, and saw Hari was still looking at me with that hungry look. I smiled, suddenly feeling nervous and unsure. And then Margo swept back through the kitchen and commandeered Hari into carrying burgers out to the grill.
But now, in the shower, I thought about that moment -- his look. I stroked my hand along the inside of my thighs and touched myself. It felt good. I sighed and turned the shower off. Time to get dressed and get into the party spirit. I wondered if there would be a chance to get close to Hari again tonight. To touch him. I wondered if that's what he wanted too. I sigh to myself, brushing out my hair. I'm so out of practice. It's been so long. I stare at my reflection in the mirror. The shock and grief have left my face by now, but have left behind little lines around my eyes. Like Hari, my hair's turning grey in places, although I get it coloured a little. We'd known each other before. Before he'd left for Geneva, before his divorce. Before my best friend and lover had died in his bed at the hospice, just as the birds had started to wake up and greet the new day. Not before telling me he loved me, had always loved me, and that he wanted me to be happy and loved again. I squeeze my eyes shut for a second or two. I smooth my dress. Maybe I'll wear a necklace. Hari and me had been friends. We'd usually find a way to sit together at some point during the party, dinner or day at the beach -- wherever we were -- to talk, sharing our thoughts about the last books we'd read, what we'd seen at the movies, that sort of thing. I guess we'd flirted a little, in that good natured way of people happily married to someone else, but not afraid of showing mutual attraction. I didn't think much about it at the time, but as soon as Margo had lazily reeled his name off along with all the others on her invite list, I'd felt a sudden, unexpected, thrill of heat.
'Yes, he's back from Geneva. Didn't care for it, but it got him away for a few years, while him and Anya sorted things out, you know.'
'Back?'
'Yes. For good, I think.'
Night falls so quickly here. I look up out of the window and am surprised how dark it is now.
'Hey, this is where you are.' Hari is standing right behind me -- how did he sneak in so quietly? -- and I nearly jump clean out of my skin. I pull my arms out of the dishwater and nod.
'Yes. Just cleaning up a little.'
He is handing me a dishtowel to dry my hands and as I look down, I see he is barefoot. Big, handsome feet, I think to myself. And then shake my head. Just what am I thinking?
'Everyone is out front, getting settled in for the procession and fireworks,' he says.
I can feel his breath. 'Don't you want to go out and see?'
I pull out the plug to drain the water. 'Sure.' But as I say that, he lays his hand on my shoulder and then runs it down my arm to my elbow. I hold my breath.