This is a true story that transpired last Friday night in Saratoga Springs, NY, the 'Summer Place to Be Fucked'.....enjoy!
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I watched her from a safe enough distance through the crowd of shimmering, dancing bodies to the rocking sounds of the Audiostars, the best damn club band in the land.
Truth be told, it wasn't that much of a chore to keep my eyes set on that tanned, lithe body. If it was possible to look slutty while also attired as obviously rich-girl preppy, this woman was pulling it off. She had on a set of choker pearls around her lean neck, augmenting the long, angular features of her pretty face. Her white tank top stopped seductively a few inches above her tight khaki shorts, showing off her taut tummy and belly button, as her nipples poked tantalizingly through the thin, cotton material. Her legs seemed to go on forever, and they were exacerbated by a pair of heeled, wrap-around sandals reminiscent of a Julius Caesar-era 'grape girl' (you know, "dahling, more grapes for the emperor!").
Yet, as my sometimes admittedly too fertile mind whirled with all of these fantasy scenarios while admiring the beauty from perhaps twenty feet away, it was more than that. I was certain that I knew this woman from somewhere. It was more than wishful thinking. But...where, dammit, where..?
The click that emanated from the cartoon light bulb above my head registered it all at once. Aaah, this was Lynne's ice queen sister!!!!! What was her name again..? Donna..? Debbie..? Denise! That's it, Denise! I hadn't seen her in about five years, and boy, had time been her friend.
To backtrack a tad for explanations' sake, Lynne was a woman I used to date half a decade ago. Well, that's perhaps a bit liberal. There are women you 'date', and women you 'see'. Lynne was a woman I 'saw', and usually my view was with her on her back, screaming in pleasure (no woman could scream like Lynne; Janis Joplin would have been envious!)
Lynne was a local golf pro, one of the best women golfers in the region. I had known her through the circuit for many years, and had developed sort of a friendship with her. Lynne was cute in an athletic way, freckles covering her friendly, constantly smiling face. She was one of those rare chicks that everybody loved, men and woman alike. One night about maybe six years ago, after an outing at a local club that resulted in waaaay too many cranberry juices and raspberry vodkas, Lynne and I ended up conducting our own personal 'hole-in-one' contest right on the seventeenth tee about 1 A.M.
I found out that same night that Lynne was engaged to be married within a year, but that did not stop us from continuing our clandestine rendezvous occasionally. (The best thing about the golf pro is she holds the keys to the womens' locker room, but I digress.) After perhaps a dozen or so bouts of some passionate fucking sessions over the next few months, Lynne actually had the chutzpah (or was it simply good manners?) to invite me to her wedding. I went solo, in a strange sort of deference and respect for the ceremony. After all, it was a bit of a dichotomy to watch one of the hottest fucks you ever had in your life get hitched just a week or so after hearing her scream in ecstasy from your cock buried in her ass.
It was at this wedding when I first saw Denise, Lynne's older sister. She was built very differently from Lynne. Lynne was athletic and almost muscular in her thighs; Denise had on 'the black wedding dress' that accentuated her long, slender torso and thin, shapely calves. Her face was almost identical to Lynne's from a features standpoint. They both had the slightly freckled face and large hazel eyes, with short, light brown hair. It was apparent that they had to be sisters. But while Lynne's face was always glowing from a perpetually sunny smile, Denise was aloof, sullen, some might say (and I would be one of them) 'snooty'. She looked like a rich bitch, to be perfectly candid.
In the moment or two that I had to converse with Lynne at her ceremony, the happy bride, I couldn't help but to inquire about her older sister. "She looks exactly like you, but..well..I hope I'm not out of line...she looks like an Ice Queen," I said to Lynne.
Lynne giggled delightedly. "Everybody says that about Denise, don't worry. She's just in the middle of a difficult divorce right now, and it's taking a toll on her." Lynne moved up closer to me and whispered in my ear. "In fact, I'll tell ya a little secret, since you and I have a few of our own that no one will know about, Johnnie."
She smiled mischievously. "Denise likes to refer to herself as the 'Head Queen'. She's delusionally convinced herself she gives the best blow jobs on the planet. My younger sister and I tease her about that all the time. Go figure. Denise a head queen."
I revived myself from that little flashback and took inventory that I was now at the Horseshoe Inn, August 2009. I had not seen either Lynne or Denise since that day at the wedding. Funny what the male mind can recapture from the mental archives.
Denise was idly tapping on her Blackberry as she stood at an outdoor table in the back of the bar. She was accompanied by a female friend, a somewhat stocky (nice word for 'chubby') blonde in a pink dress.
There were two older guys attempting to hit on them. The blonde was relishing in the attention, but Denise was ever the aloof (i.e. snooty) Ice Queen, paying the three of then not even the pretense of attention. If I was going to plunge in the pool ever, now seemed like as good a time as any. Why just dip your toes in?
I sidled up to Denise from behind. "Excuse me, but I think I know you," I chirped, realizing instantly how cheesy that must have sounded. Denise turned to half-face me, and her thin lips curled up in a kind of sneer, her hazel eyes not betraying a hint of recognition nor interest. She looked me up and down once in a superior, dismissive manner.
"I really don't think so," Denise icily blurted, as she turned her interest back to the small screen of her electronic device.
"What the hell," I thought, "I'm all in at this point. Why not go down hard?" So, undaunted, my next utterance contained a fact designed to at least authenticate my opening line. I took a deep breath. "Yep, I think I do. You're Denise Hoffman, aren't you? I'm John. I used to date your sister Lynne."
Her incessant tapping on the keyboard stopped immediately and she turned to face me. She was at least two inches taller than me in her high-heeled sandals, and I'm sure she was used to intimidating annoying little sand gnats like myself on an hourly basis, and no doubt took supreme enjoyment in the humiliation.
This time, however, I had succeeded in touching a nerve, a curiosity, a familiar, long-forgotten sisterly bond. She looked down at me, her eyes peering directly, darkly into my own. She eyed me for about five seconds, which seemed like an eternity to me, and in that time, her demeanor changed. This time, it was me who was rendered speechless by her reply.
"You mean, you used to fuck my sister while she was engaged to Tony, don't you?"
Have you ever watched a line of men at an occupied urinal? They all engage in this nervous, little tap dance, bouncing on the balls of their feet, one to the other, over and over, as they valiantly try not to pee their pants. Unwittingly, this was the physical reaction that her comment evoked in me. My mouth opened and shut a few times, my eyes twittered and blinked, like a hooked fish flopping on the line, throwing himself at the mercy of his captor. The only visceral reply I could manage was a weak nod.
Denise smiled in her best Cruella De Ville imitation this side of Disney. "Is that a yes, Johnnie boy?"
I managed to compose myself and realized that this perhaps was not the worst way in the world to be remembered. A man can only begin to imagine what sisterly secrets are shared, and I calculated that the mere fact that Denise chose to recall my legacy in this way indicated that Lynne might have had some complimentary stories to share with her older sibling about my carnal abilities. Well, at least, this is what I was thinking. So, I really decided to roll the dice on my next statement.
"That's a yes, Denise. I surmise that Lynne may have shared some pleasant secrets with you about us. Well, she shared one with me about you." Denise's left eyebrow rose in a 'do tell' dare.
"Head Queen."
It took a few seconds for the dam to break, but when it did, the kilowatts flowed. Denise's head rocked back in uproarious laughter. I made note that this was truly the first time I had seen her smile. Of course, while noting that, I couldn't help but peek down at the rippling six-pack of muscles in her tight stomach as her blouse rose higher from her navel. (It's called multi-tasking!)
"OH, MY FUCKING GOD, I am going to KILL that little bitch!" Denise uttered this while still shaking with laughter, so I assumed the threat was idle sibling rhetoric. "She actually fucking told you that, when? Where?"
Turns out that my boldness could not have served as a more effective ice-breaker. Denise and I spent the next twenty minutes or so amicably talking about friends, family, kids, and briefly, Lynne, who was now living in Florida while managing a golf teaching academy.
I was not oblivious to the envious glances from many of the other male patrons in the Horseshoe, who undoubtedly had been watching this 'sexy-in-a-semi-preppy-semi-slutty-way' Ice Queen themselves earlier in the evening and wondering why I was now her lucky conversational partner. (It's simple, boys, you just have to let them know that you fucked their little sister!)