"I have come to best you in mortal combat!" I bellow before your admittedly humble forest dwelling.
I await your response.
I frown, still awaiting.
"Witch, I have come for your head! The Baron demands it, and my honor obeys!" I raise the intensity of my cry, scanning for signs of movement within.
"Your honor should have you taking the stupid fucking Baron's head, the way his thugs abuse these innocent people..." I hear you mutter, emerging calmly from a strand of trees, a basket of flowers under one arm.
I spin, raising my axes, distraught to have been taken a fool, snuck upon as you spring your trap! And you, bewitching my eyes already, disguising your apperance so!
You raise a quizzical eyebrow at my skant attire. A barbarian? You wonder.
"Prepare yourself for a quick death, witch!" I charge, my axes primed to cleanly remove your head from your body, preparing myself to see this false illusion of beauty you've clearly cast fade as your curses die with you.
"I hardly need you to tell me..." You glance up and frown, then wave your wrist, half to alleviate a slight soreness from carrying the basket, half to gather a simple binding spell into the air between us.
I leap, ready to bring the full force of my might upon your slight frame, and at the apogee of my great bound, the air thickens around me, my body slowing to a halt as though some sticky sap surrounds me.
"What witchery is this!?" I cry, attempting to writhe free, my flailing only seeming to churn the very air, thickening it further, until I find my arms and legs outstretched as I hover a few feet above you, near enough to almost kick you, if only I could move my legs...
You sigh. Separate, assess, facilitate... you tap your chin, what was the last one? Oh, yes, evaluate. Improve on the process and iterate, right.
You step back, taking a slow, deep breath as I glower down at your false beauteous form with rage.
You try to assess. A barbarian. In a loincloth, no less. A... very revealing... oh my. You almost smirk as you glance at my obvious erection, sprung free from its meager covering by my twisting attempts to escape your spell, finding yourself more than a little intrigued at its unreasonable size. And my apparent unconcern that it's staring you directly in the face.
It's true what they say about the barbarians from the north, "going into battle with their swords drawn and their axes raised," you think to yourself, blushing slightly as untoward thoughts cross your mind.
You cough.
I glower.
Open ended questions, you think. "So, you've come to kill me?"
"I am honor bound by the Baron to take your head, witch!" I growl, straining to rend my axes against your flesh. I curse your witchery, your beguiling ways, the trickery of the curve of your bosom below me...
"Oh? Why so?" You offer, calmly, setting down your flower basket and stepping closer, admitting to yourself that the gesture is more to get a closer look than to encourage good will...
My eyes are drawn again to your chest as my vantage improves with your closeness, your dress loose, your breasts drawing me in with their sorcery! I growl. "I am contracted, and have sworn an oath to fulfill it with blood - yours!" Your curse is clearly working its magic, my eyes unable to plan an attack, forced so to stare down your dress...
"I'm a witch not a sorcerous, I have a certificate you know..." You seem distracted. "So, a contract?" You tap your chin, nodding. There's common ground here, you've seen barbarian contracts. Lots of outs when it comes to honor. This can certainly be resolved non-violently, through good communication.
"I see that you feel..." You try not to focus on my still-raging erection, just about eye-level as I hover in front of you, "... passionate about your honor."
"I am a barbarian warrior!" I roar, "I am honor!"
"Yes, definitely, an honorable warrior." You attempt as earnest a gesture of encouragement as you can with the largest cock you've ever seen rock hard directly in front of your face. You cough. "But, I feel uncomfortable that someone wants me dead. I feel perhaps I have done something dishonorable, and I too need to be an honorable, uh, witch." You nod up to me, and my rage cools slightly.
A witch of honor. I frown.
"Then let us meet honorably. Release me and I shall make your death swift and painless." I offer with great generosity.
"That's very kind of you," You blink up at me, "But I might request we discuss it further?"
I frown my consent to further discussion, bound as I am against my will.
"Great!" You glance again at my erection. Stiff as ever. Is it a spell? You wonder. "So, we have honor, but we also have dignity. Sometimes, you have to choose one or the other."
You pause, attempting to discern whether you're getting through.
I purse my lips. "The Baron is not a man of honor." I concede. "This contract is an indignity. But, a man must eat."
You are frankly more stunned by that comment than the massive cock staring you in the face.
"I am no fool, witch." I growl. "But, I am bound first by honor, not by dignity. And so, you must die."
You nod, glancing again at my utter lack of shame, and likewise concede that dignity is probably not my strong suit.
"What do you know of honor and dignity, witch? You, who attack me from behind, you who bind me with magic, you have no honor, and you, attempting to beguile me with your magics, with this sorcerous body no true woman could attain." I narrow my eyes. "I see through your witchcraft, you have no dignity, deceiving me, bewitching this heavenly sight of plainly unnatural beauty!"
"I said, I have a certificate, from the local commu..." You blink again. Sorcerous body? Unnatural beauty? "I'm not using any..." You blush, realizing this is just my reaction to what you look like. Hell, you've actually put on a few pounds recently that you've been trying to will yourself to work off. But you do love that iced cream so... Then you recall, barbarians have a... different standard of beauty.
You find yourself more flattered than you feel like you should be, and try not to smile. "I swear, on my honor, I am not using any magic to change my appearance." You swallow as I scowl. "That's actually kinda tricky, and you need... it's just not something I've really wanted to do, I'm comfortable with who I am, and this is me." You say plainly.
I scoff, but you've clearly swayed me. "Even if I am to believe a woman with such beauty could exist, and you are this woman, these clothes you wear, the form they belie of your breasts... you are regardless using your natural gifts to distract and seduce, when we are here meeting on the field of battle! We are not meeting at a brothel for an evening of employ at real, honest labors. This is combat, and such frivolity is an indignity to honor."
You smirk at belieing anything, always considering yourself to be rather modest in the chest area. But, again, different cultural norms, you suppose. "I mean, you're one to talk about revealing clothes." You nod at my still-raging erection, hovering a few feet in front of your face. "What if I was dressed like you are? Would that be better?" You laugh.
"Even if you were naked, and you presented all your apparently natural beauty in its most dignified state for combat to the death, I would still resist you and fulfill my honor." I scowl.
"Oh!" Cultural norms! "The dress itself is the issue! Because it's bad for fighting in!" You briefly consider magic, then shake your head, "Look, I didn't put this dress on expecting to find a field of battle on my way home. I happen to like this dress. But, I can understand it makes you uncomfortable given the context here..." You reach down and lift the dress off in one swift motion, leaving your body bare below me, discarding it into the flower basket. "Now, is this better?"