Gym Buddies

The sisters found a table outside, away from prying ears. Patti could tell right away something was bothering her sister. 'She's wound tight this morning.' "So, this is about Tom, right?"

Kelli nodded. "Yea, sure is. So yesterday Richard came to the bank picnic."

"So, how'd it go with your two men -- did they fight over you?"

"No, they didn't meet or talk, thank god. Richard was really nice to me, so attentive, he never left my side. Not normal for him."

Patti raised her eyebrows. "Did you and Tom get any one-on-one time?"

"Oh, we sure did. He'd staked out a private spot and we went there and did it!"

"No shit! You naughty girl. Was this before Richard got there?"

"Yep -- he got there as I was walking back from being with Tom -- we cut it pretty close."

"Wow." She narrowed her eyes. 'Why was Richard so nice?"

"When we got home he sat me on the couch, held my hands and said he'd realized that he'd been a very neglectful partner since he got the new job, that he was sorry he hadn't paid attention to me, that he loved me and wanted to be a better husband, be with me more, travel for work way less."

Patti was thunderstruck. "Whoa." She paused, thinking. "What prompted this -- wait -- I know -- big sister Tara must've had a talk with him, asked him how the two of you were doing, and given her little brother some strong advice!"

"Yea, I think so too." Kelli's eyes got big. "'T, he said he loved me, wanted to make me happy, wanted us to be together forever like we promised in our wedding vows!"

She'd started to tear up, so Patti plucked a tissue from her bag. 'Damn, didn't think the guy had it in him to make this play. Tara had to have coached him.' Kelli dabbed her eyes. Both sisters knew what was next.

Patit said it first. "Tom."

Kelli nodded, and wiped her eyes again. "Tom."

"What are you thinking you want to do, Kel?"

She looked down at her hands, twisting the tissue into a ball, for a long while, then looked up. "I want to give Richard a chance, see if he'll really change. Feels like I owe it to him to give him a chance. I'm his wife. And I feel guilty I've been having an affair with another man."

"So, what does that mean for Tom?"

She teared up again and Patti passed another tissue. "He is such a wonderful man, 'T, and I so want to be with him, be his lover. But I can't handle being intimate with him and try to make it work with Richard at the same time -- it's too much -- I'm not that strong."

Patti held her sister's hand. "Nobody's that strong, Kel."

She nodded and wiped her eyes again. "I want to tell Tom, be honest with him. He's always been totally honest with me. I want to ask him if our relationship can go back to before we got physical, intimate, when we were just Gym Buddies. I don't want to lose his friendship. He's such a good man, and I care about him so much."

Patti's eyes narrowed. 'Tom wants her, wants all of her -- he's not going to go for that. And he's a far better mate for her than Richard would ever be. Tom's the only man to ever satisfy her sexually, and whether we like it or not, that's a must-have for a Helgeson woman.' "Do you think Tom will be ok with that? He is very, very into you, Kel. Have you considered that he may be a better mate than Richard, that maybe you should leave Richard for Tom?" 'There, put it out there for her -- far as I can go to push her.'

Kelli was silent for a full minute, then sighed. "He might be better, but I committed to Richard in my wedding vows. I hope Tom will understand that I had to choose one man to be my lover, and that's my husband."

'Damn, she's choosing Richard.' "You know, he may not accept going back to just gym buddies. Pretty unlikely that a man who's been intimate with a woman can handle the change to 'just friends'." 'Need to prepare her for a 'hell no' answer.' "A Helgeson woman's sex is pretty powerful stuff, men get addicted to us. As much as you've done it, he surely is. You haven't just been having sex with him -- what you've described goes waaaaaaay beyond that."

"I know, and god, I'll miss that every day. Hell, I miss it right now!"

'Last pitch.' You've never been as excited about a man as Tom, sis. You just light up like a Christmas tree when you talk about him. He's an awesome man, and he's enchanted with you."

Kelli leaned on her elbows and cupped her face with her palms, thinking, for a long two or three minutes. Patti was eager to keep persuading her, but knew that could provoke a strong backlash, so kept quiet. 'Wish she'd ask me which way to go, but that's not like her. She'll make her own decision.'

Finally, Patti spoke. "You know I'm right here with you, no matter which way you go, sis. Kelli looked up and smiled. "Yea, the two of us together, forever right?"

"Forever."

Kelli stood up and the sisters locked eyes. "Ok, I'm going to Tom's and see if he can be ok with being just friends. Patti nodded, got up and they hugged.

'He's gonna say no and she's gonna take that real hard. I should be there to pick up the pieces.' "Hey, how about I follow you and wait for you in the post office parking lot right there as you turn down Tom's street?"

Kelli nodded. "Thanks, 'T, that'd be great." They walked towards their cars -- Kelli's coffee untouched.

Patti followed her sister to Tom's house, peeled off into the post office lot, parked so she could look down the street towards Tom's house, and waited.

*****

He answered on the first ring, his voice cheerful, as always. "Hey, Gym Buddy!" Kelli's stomach clenched.

"Hey, Gym Buddy. Are you home, can I stop by?" Tom instantly sensed something was wrong.

"Um, sure, I just got back from a run."

"Ok, see you in a few, Tom."

"Ok, bye."

Tom shuffled out onto the porch, all the possibilities swirling through his head. 'Did Richard find out about us? Did I say something wrong, or do something wrong at the picnic? Is she just tired of me? Was she really just using me for sex, faking everything else? She said she'd faked it before, she knows how. Fuck. So much for making the pitch she leave him for me. What were you thinking, dumb ass?' He thought of more possibilities, all of them bad. He paced back and forth, watching for her, every second seeming an eternity. Finally, she pulled up. Tom set his phone on the railing and walked towards the Jeep.

Kelli's heart was pounding as she got out. "Oh, god, this is going to be so hard on both of us.' Their eyes met and she took his hand and led him to the porch. 'He knows, I can see it in his eyes.' "Let's sit." They did, and they kept holding hands. She'd planned out what she wanted to say, but forgot every bit of it as she looked into her Gym Buddy's eyes, seeing them dark, and sad, for the first time. She just lurched into it.

"Richard and I had a long talk last night. He realizes he's been neglecting me, not being with me, not loving me, and he says he wants to change, be a good husband, be close to me, not be gone so much."

'Oh, god.' Tom's throat started to constrict, his stomach clenched.

"He really seems sincere, that he wants us to be close." She paused. "I promised him, I made a vow, that I'd be his wife."

Tom turned his eyes away, looking down, not knowing what to say.

She squeezed his hand. "Our relationship, our friendship, is so important to me -- I can't bear the thought of losing that. But I can't be your lover and try to make it work with him. I'm hoping we can go back to being just Gym Buddies, maybe having dinner at Brewster's, sometimes hanging out?"

For Tom there was just blackness, anguish, a crushing sadness that consumed him. Kelli reached over to touch his chin, turn his head towards her -- but he let her hand go, pulled away, still not looking her in the eye.

In a second, everything had changed, the closest intimacy replaced with cold rejection. 'Oh god, what have I done to him?'

He said nothing for a good minute, then started to look at her, and couldn't. In a hoarse voice he said "I can't do that. Can't just be friends with you. It's all or nothing." Bracing his elbows on his knees Tom covered his face with his hands.

Kelli's eyes teared up and she felt sick to her stomach. 'Oh, god, Patti was right. What have I done?' She laid her hand on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Tom." He didn't respond, didn't move, didn't look at her. 'Better go -- he doesn't want me here, doesn't want to be with be. Why would he?' She got up, walked to the Jeep and paused, looking back at him, the tears now running down her cheeks, her stomach in a knot. Finally, she got in and drove away, leaving her shattered friend sitting on his front steps, hands still covering his face, tears streaming from between his fingers.

*****

Kelli, consumed with sadness and anguish, would have forgotten that her sister was waiting for her if Patti hadn't flagged her down from the sidewalk. She pulled over and parked. Patti opened the door to find her sister in tears, her forehead leaning against the steering wheel. She pulled Kelli out of the Jeep and big sister held little sister for a long time as she cried. "He said he couldn't, couldn't just be friends. Now I've lost him forever."

Patti knew there was nothing she could say, so she just held her sister and best friend for a long time.

*****

Tom just sat there for a good half hour before he got up and slowly shuffled into a house full of memories of the woman who he thought might be his, but had chosen another man. He wandered around in a daze for a while, then, without thinking, picked up his car key, then his phone off the porch rail, got in his SUV and drove off, with no destination in mind. 'Gotta get away from this house, clear my head.'

He ended up in the state park north of the city, parked, and walked, all day, for miles and miles. He came back home after dark and, not able to even look at his own bed that he had shared with Her, wandered into the front bedroom, laid down on Alan's single mattress on the floor. It was after midnight before he finally fell asleep.