Briefly home from college, I babysit your kids for Christmas money. I only see you moments before you and your wife leave for dinner: pulling bills from your wallet, adjusting your tie - but during these encounters, I see how you glance at me. You scan my body, taking notes. At first I was offended - you're old enough to be my professor, if not my father. You may be well-kept, but I'm in my twenties. For a few more years, I can be with anyone. But I guess I started to look forward to your reactions, thinking: what will he think of this sweater? Will I be warm enough without tights? You like when I don't wear tights, I think - or better, when I wear stockings, adjusting them in the doorway when we both pretend you're not looking.
I stopped wearing bras to your house. I let you walk in on me in the den, wearing a tank top and panties at the end of the night, feigning sleep - I'd often fantasize about opening my eyes to find you stroking your crotch inches from my face, or gently tweaking my nipple through the fabric. Some nights I'd think about this and mute the TV and just take off my underwear, cumming on the couch minutes before you and your wife arrived.
In my favorite fantasy, your wife is elsewhere. I don't want her walking in on us; I'd rather not consider her at all. She's not the kind of woman I'd want joining in. No, she's back at the restaurant or drunk at your friends' - or maybe you two had a fight. You come home with your jacket off, your top button undone. I can tell you want - need - to relax. I get up to leave but you still me, say There's no rush.
You ask what I'm watching. I shrug. Just flipping channels. You sit beside me with your knees relaxed; one rests against mine. I tuck my legs up under me and you flip to a movie station. Suddenly we're watching something subtitled, but I'm can't pay attention. I'm focusing on my heartrate, wondering how long you'll let this go on.