Globes of Light

This is my story and is also published elsewhere.

*****

The night is quiet, and the rain pattering the windowsill in rhythmic patterns lulls you into a deep fatigue. You feel it in your shoulders, your legs, and even your neck. Tension. Loss. Anger, disappointment. A perfect recipe for pain and misery. So tired that you need sleep, but too tired to care. Beyond exhaustion, you find yourself finally becoming numb. The darkness creeping at the edge of your vision tickles your eyes and makes you want to close them forever. But you, isolated, in your core, no longer feel. Your hands move of their own volition to suit your needs, but your blank expression that you see in the mirror remarks nothing more than the inexorable march of imminent death.

Laying down, your heart mutters a prayer. A cure for your heartache and a salve for the sting of betrayal, the pang of loss. As your eyes flutter closed, listening to the rolling thunder in the distance. Lightning flashes, and the shadow of a woman watches you sleep.

In the midst of a dream, you are surrounded by fog. Your memories are hazy, but you hear a barely audible whisper, as if echoing from someplace far, far away.

"Hello, my love."

You begin to open your eyes, the bleary image vaguely resembling a woman. Without your glasses and in the poor light, it is hard to tell.

"Shh, it's okay." She shusses you. She places a hazy but perfect finger on your lips, pressing quite insistently. You feel your lips seal, leaving you unable to speak.

"I heard your prayer." She whispers, almost like an echo, in your ear. You don't remember praying, but this is probably still a dream.

"I can feel your pain. Your sorrow. Your need. The anguish and desperation from inside your heart. It called out to me. Shhh, it is okay. You don't need to see. You just need to be able to feel."

Your vision maintains a kind of blur, showing only the hazy outline of the woman crouched above you. Hazy or not, she is still quite shapely.

You feel her lean in close, head above yours but inches.

"You don't need to speak. We don't need words."

She leans down and gently touches her lips to yours. You can feel her tongue very softly, gingerly even, grace the tips of your sealed lips. Leaning back up, she notices something strange.

Memories flooded you in that moment, bringing back images and feelings of what was lost. She used to kiss you much the same, until she was gone. Once, this would have broken you. Now, you live in a world of gray. Feelings, like color, are a stranger to you.

Your unusual visitor takes a hand and gently strokes a grain of your hair.

"Shhh, it's okay. Everything is going to be okay. Everything is going to be alright."

She takes a formless but perfect finger and wipes away a single tear that was beading in your eye. A representation of the pain you no longer allowed yourself to feel. She traces the line of your jaw, and whispers, "Embrace Love's kiss."

And her full lips engulf yours. You feel yours begin to soften, as a warm tongue invades your mouth and teases and pokes at your mostly-paralyzed tongue. After several seconds of enjoying your tongue, she retreats and seemingly does not need to catch her breath.

"It will all be okay. You don't need to move. I'll take care of everything." She whispers. You find yourself almost frozen, as if in some kind of sleep paralysis. She starts kissing your neck, and slowly moves down your chest, seemingly now bare.

Your pants must be gone too, because you feel a hand grip tight your balls and shaft. Soft and warm but also cool somehow, and moving deliberately and perfectly, with spinning stroking motions. Within seconds you feel blood rush and you start to rise.

Concerned, you try to fully open your eyes, but find them almost sealed like your lips. You can only open them halfway, and your vision is blurry and wilted. She lays next to you, on her side, the curves of a perfect woman before you.

"Shhh.. Don't you realize? I can be anyone you want. I look like what you want most in the entire world."

The hazy figure changes as if made out of mist. Still glowing, still resplendent, but now she is..

Her.

Her auburn red hair and dangled bangs, so precisely imperfect reminds you of what you have lost. A heavy tear appears in your eye, and she takes a perfectly sculpted finger and wipes them away. Her skin, a tanned white with freckles, still has the faint shimmer of what she truly is.

You breathe in. Not just air, not just scent. You breathe in what it means to be next to her. Everything you ever wanted. You smell the damp bark of the forest, the park where you first met. You smell the leaves caught in her hair. You smell the shirt she wore on your first date, with a rich wine stain right down the middle. You smell the candles burning out from the table as the smoke wafts away, and the ring hidden at the bottom of her bubbling champagne glass. You smell the cool autumn air, tinted with the terrible smell of flames and a burning home.

Tears flow from your eyes as you lean into this perfect creature, this too-perfect copy. Your heart flutters, and you feel like it wants to implode.

"She leans down with her full lips and whispers those perfect words, "It will be alright. Everything is okay. See? I never left you."

She takes a hand next to your cheek, and caresses it. Her palm is smooth and without calluses, perfect, pristine. So soft, like hugging a cloud. Her skin being weighed counterpoint by your imperfect and scarred features. A finger wipes away your tears, and you can see.

Looking into her face, her eyes shift. From golden, indistinct globes of light to eyes a piercing blue, like frozen sapphires. Knowing eyes.

She leans down, her lips less than an inch from the surface of your skin. Staring at you deeply, you become lost in the intricate patterns of her gaze. She whispers, "Love me" as you feel a soft but very firm grip circle itself around the head of your penis. She begins to stroke, soft at first, but then increasingly insistent.

Her luscious lips open above yours and you can feel her hot breath prickle your skin. She breathes in every bit you exhale, and she almost whimpers, "love me." She is so warm, so soft. So inviting.

You are firm, unbelievably so, like a rod, but flexible. She leans in close, eyes closed. Her lips are so close to your ear that you feel every breath and every movement. She whispers, so tenderly, so quiet, so that no one else in the universe could ever hear her words.

"Please."

You shift slightly, as if by reflex, but she needed less than that. The cool air suddenly becomes warm and hazy, as you are near her sex. The love of your life, of all lives, just asked you to make love to her one last time. Why not? It's just a dream, after all.

Your hands, once at the side, now touch the back of her, her bare skin. Soft, impossibly pristine. Impossibly accurate. So smooth, it was like touching a bundle of light. Her leg shifts over, and she is completely on top of you. She looks down at you from an angle, and slowly connects her perfect lips to yours. Once more her tongue invades, as your hands go exploring.

You feel her sides, and notice that she is ticklish like the woman you once knew. Your large and worn hands reach her ass and give it a good squeeze, each a handful. Each fitting perfectly, as if they were designed for your hands and your hands alone. Soft and plush, and tight.

She gasps, and you feel her lift slightly, only for her to strategically slide, and you find your cock suddenly immersed in warm, wet, heaven. As you enter, you feel her breathe a shudder into your mouth. Your dick is engulfed completely, and you feel yourself being squeezed and her shoulders slowly move up and down, with your hands guiding the rhythm of her moving cheeks.

It feels beyond comparison. Every time she slides up, you give a sharp thrust as she starts to slide down, and you see her perfect mouth open and her eyes roll back every time you slam home. You begin to proceed forward in greater and greater rhythm, and she begins to moan your name in between gasps.

When she lowers herself on you and you thrust, you can feel her start to contract herself on you, squeezing you extremely hard. Making herself tighter, and she is getting wetter, more wet than you thought possible. At this point she is going to soak the sheets. You can feel her leaking juice on your thighs and your balls, and you begin to feel a deep rumbling. It is like you are scratching a day old itch, and the more you do it the better it feels. You begin to thrust more and more rapidly, and you can see in her eyes joy as her lips twist into lecherous desire.

She tries to whisper, but really moans, "Come inside me. It's okay. Please. I need it. Please." Near the end the moans turn into wordless gasps of a blank need. In short order, you begin to explode, and you feel her impale on you, grinding and riding you intensely as you fill her with hot, sticky cum. As you begin to withdraw, you feel her clench impossibly tight, as if to not let a single drop escape and to keep you in her. She starts to shake in almost miniature convulsions, and she kisses your neck until they subside.

She presses her damp lips to your ear and whispers again, "Thank you. I love you. Now.."

She leans up, with you still somewhat hard inside of her, and says, "But I need more."

She slides off of you, and takes a hand and rubs herself, the air being filled with the sounds of wet rubbing flesh. You see her scoop up the last of the white cum and put it into her mouth.

"Now, for the rest." She says mischievously. She starts by taking her tongue and licking up all of the extra juices she left around your thighs, then she makes it to your balls. Her tongue swirls and sucks them for a time, and you feel yourself beginning to firm up again.

She is meticulous, and uses her tongue to get every inch of juice and spilled cum she possibly can. Then she smiles, looks you in the eyes with her pretty blue gaze, and puts her perfect lips around your head. Then, suddenly, she dives.

You are a man left out in the cold, and suddenly surrounded by the warmth of love and life. You feel her tongue swirl almost impossibly. How could anyone actually do that? Her head is bobbing up and down, taking you into her throat as she sucks like a siphon. Like any true dream, she never needs to go up for air. It is as if she breathes by pleasuring you. Her mouth rotates one way, but her tongue goes another.

Eventually you begin to build up again, but she slows and softens, until you almost recede, and continues over and over again. She swings around, cock still in mouth, and you hear a voice almost in your head, next to your ear, and she intimates, "Unseal those lips for me" as you find her perfect pussy, shaved and pristine, above your face. In but a heartbeat, it is pressed against your lips, and you find your tongue complying.

She slows her attention to match the pace of yours. She smells wonderful. Clean and wet, she tastes pure, like love. You find her spot, and using the flat of your tongue you press against it roughly. You feel her shudder and moan into your cock, creating an interesting vibrating sensation. It doesn't take long until her hips start buckling to your tongue, and you begin to follow her as she bucks, using your hands on her bare ass to try and keep her steady. She tries to worm her way away during an orgasm, but the flood of juice just fuels your desire for more.

You don't let her go that easy, and even though she is hyper sensitive, you begin to swirl your tongue on her clit in just the right way, around, and then suddenly down. A bit of temptation and a sudden over sensation is driving her crazy. You do it over and over until you feel her revenge. She takes you into her throat and begins licking your balls, and she laughs in an unusual manner to make her throat vibrate.

She continues rabidly, her only goal is to extract your cum as effectively as possible. Feeling yourself about to explode, you triple your efforts, suddenly holding her tight while you press down on her clit with the flat of your tongue and begin to rub as hard and as fast as possible, trying to get her to cum the same time as you. Her moans and convulsions do it for you, and you suddenly feel your dick become hot. Hotter than anything. Hot as the sun.

Your dick feels like it is about to explode the earth, and the cooling wet sensation of the back of her throat is heaven yet feels inadequate. You begin to pour rivers of cum, more than you ever thought possible, into her waiting mouth as she sucks as hard as she can. You convulse for a solid minute as you pulse rope after rope of sticky cum into her waiting mouth. She eagerly swallows all of it, then cleans you up, oversensitive or not, until you are utterly spent.

You lay on your back, exhausted, panting, and utterly done. She appears behind you, and your head rests into her bosom. Having given in to your desires, your empty grief returns, and sure enough beads of tears play along the edge of your eyes. She pulls you closer, shushing you.

She takes a hand and wipes away your tears, and holds you tight.

"Is this a dream? Or did this really happen?" you wonder out loud.

She replies in more of a hushed tone, the tone of someone who is satisfied with you, and now just wants you to be happy. "Shhh.. It'll all be okay. Just because it is a dream, that doesn't mean it can't be real. I'll always be in your dreams. I'll always be here for you."

She holds you tighter still, and in no time at all, you fall back and succumb to the darkness that is deep sleep. You don't know if it is a dream, or not. You don't really care, because for once, the numbness is gone.