(Based on an incident several years ago in our favorite location in the Hawaiian Islands. Names have been changed and the setting may also be markedly different today than it was then. The love guru has probably moved on, although I could imagine his spirit still inhabiting the Kalalau Valley.)
It had been a long and tiring 12-hour flight from the East Coast to Lihue on the Hawaiian island of Kauai. Most people like to lay over on the West Coast to break the monotony and move around, but having only three weeks to tour four islands we wanted to make the most of our limited time, and flew direct. It was 3 am. New York time by our watches, although the sun was just going down in Lihue.
"I want to sleep for a zillion years," Jessica said, throwing her backpack on a chair and collapsing onto the bed of a hotel near the airport. But I argued for something to eat and drink. Then we could crash at 10 pm. Hawaiian time, wake up refreshed nine or ten hours later and catch the bus to the Na Pali Coast to start our backcountry camping adventure.
After a sandwich and beer in the hotel bar, we came back to the room and showered. Jess looked good as always, prancing around nude between bathroom and bed, long auburn hair draped around shapely breasts, hips and firm butt swaying invitingly. Normally, on our first night of a new adventure, I would have ordered up an erotic movie to heighten stimulation and ravished her in the king-size bed. But that would wait. We actually needed the sleep.
Next morning, from the end of the bus line at Hanalei, we took an Uber to the end of the road at Ke'e Beach. Then, we and our 40-lb. packs embarked on one of the greatest hikes in the world along the storied Kalalau Trail. There were several other walkers in the first couple of miles, but hardly anyone after that as the trail was broken by deep and narrow valleys, resulting in steep grades and long switchbacks, often slick from cataracts or passing showers. Day trippers wore out fast. For those of us who intended to stay a few days, breathtaking views of the Na Pali coastline made up for the effort.
The further along, the more "optional" clothing became on the few people we did encounter, so after pitching our tent at Hanakoa camping area, about six miles in, we just stripped and took a cooling plunge in the rushing stream nearby. It revived us enough that we decided to stroll down to the beach, still
au naturel
except for flip-flops.
Jess's fine form drew appraising glances from both the clothed and unclothed. I also noticed that she gazed discreetly through her polarized sunglasses at some of the male organs on display, while I did likewise at the female charms that we passed, and was pleased to see one or two ladies direct their gaze at my midsection, smiling in approval.
"I haven't seen this much cock in one place since the frat parties in the old days," Jess joked as we took a seat in the sand.
"You haven't seen anything yet," chipped in a topless college-age woman who overheard. "Everything's hanging out at Kalalau."
We laughed and got into conversation with her. Sara was on her way back to civilization after a few days with friends at the Kalalau Valley campground five miles further on at the end of the trail.
"It's a wild place," Sara confided. "No inhibitions. And Kalalau is "the hangout of the legendary Rodrigues."
"Why is he a legend?" Jess asked.
"You'll see," Sara answered, with a coy smile. "He has... something exceptional. I spent a few great days with him." Her exposed nipples seemed to firm as she remembered, perhaps indicating how great those days were.
It turned out that Sara's tent was pitched fairly close to ours. We shared a pot luck supper of dehydrated camp food and Hawaiian beer that evening, and sat around a bonfire as night fell. I visited the outbuilding to pee and on my way back saw Jess and Sara in animated conversation. The name Rodrigues was mentioned once more, Sara holding her hands about a foot apart to emphasize something that brought laughter from Jess. They quieted upon seeing me.
Perhaps influenced by the sights of the day, Jess and I soon entered our tent to enjoy the "welcome to Hawaii" activity we had postponed the previous night. It was an inspired performance, as confirmed the next morning by Sara, who was taking a morning bath at the stream when we got there for our ablutions.
"What with all the gasping, moaning and snorting, I was worried that you guys were being attacked by a feral pig or something," she said. We all laughed.
After a light breakfast, Jess and I packed up for the onward journey to Kalalau. In keeping with the spirit of our new-found liberation, we donned minimal attire. She went topless but did wear a string bikini with her hiking shoes, while I wore only the shoes. We wrapped our pack straps and belts in soft cloth to avoid chafing where they would have rubbed against our bare skin.
Sara, on the other hand, was returning to Ke'e, and donned a tank top and modest skirt, grumbling a little at this concession to civilized sensibilities, but she wanted to look "acceptable" enough to hitch a ride to Lihue. "Just enough cover to not offend the prudes, but still interest some guy with a car."
We said our goodbyes and set out in opposite directions.
"Tell Rodrigues I'm thinking of him, will you?" Sara called out from a distance.
The trail was in pretty good shape, if terrifyingly narrow in places, with a long drop-off to the sea. It was only another five miles to Kalalau, so we reached our destination around mid-day. A park ranger, looking overdressed in shorts and a shirt with two open buttons, asked to see our permits, which we dug out from the packs and showed him. After an admonition to beware the undertow off the beach, he bid us a friendly
aloha
and went on his way, after a surreptitious glance at Jess's beautiful breasts.
Sara had advised us the best campsites were to be found toward the waterfall at the very end of the designated camp area, and we followed her advice. There were a couple of other tents nearby, but the place seemed a lot less occupied than I would have thought, given its beauty and reputation as a popular spot.
As the afternoon went on, that changed. New campers trickled in to set up, while others who had apparently been there a while emerged from the forest and from the rocky beach area. Judging by what we overheard, many of them lacked permits and had been lying low until the ranger left. We got into conversation with a few people who said they had been living in the valley for a lot longer than the five-day permit limit, leaving only to get food and other provisions they could not obtain from the land or the sea.
Attire in Kalalau was even more "informal" than it was on the trail. Scarcely a scrap of cloth or nylon to be seen. "When in Rome...," said Jess, shedding her string bikini to show her sculpted bush. Flip-flops replaced our clunky hiking shoes.
After freshening up in the stream, we set out to explore our surroundings, heading toward the beach first. While there were a lot of old lava rocks along the sea, there was also an ample expanse of fine sand. And even the rocks held surprises - several concealed caves carved through the millennia by pounding surf. One cave may have been the size of an Olympic swimming pool, filled with still, clear water. Not worried about undertow there, we dove in and cooled off.