TAGS: Magic, pickup, nightclub, party, lonely, milf, fling, affair, younger man, seduction
PART ONE
I met Gigi in Ibiza.
My marriage had fallen apart right around our 20th anniversary. No, not to Gigi. She comes later. I was 50. Did that trigger a midlife crisis? Call it that, I don't care - we weren't compatible and she got half my shit, so I took the other half and fucked off to go sailing.
I wasn't bitter. Just really wistful, and imagining the clock turning back to before the ex and I had ever met. I had been faithful, and I didn't know how to date or have a fuckbuddy anymore. Oh well. There's time to re-learn.
Unfortunately, "half my shit" meant that the consulting business we operated together couldn't survive, so besides our staff, I too was unemployed for the meantime as well. Hell with it, let me pretend to be retired for a while before sweating it, I figured. I was still young enough to rebuild the nest egg for the real thing, maybe twenty years off. I found myself indulging more thoughts about turning the clock back.
In Greece there was an incredible deal on a good quality blue-water sailboat. It seemed perfect and the sellers were getting divorced themselves, it turned out - after crossing the Atlantic in it and cruising up the Med. I guess four months together in forty-two feet of space did them in. Happens, eh? They needed to turn the boat into cash as fast as they could, in order to split it up, so it was offered at a disaster-sale price.
Given her recent passages, the boat must have been more or less shipshape and ready to go, so I flew out, did the obligatory survey and other due diligence, and decided to pull the trigger. I didn't want to singlehand it, sailing it "home" - a funny word, as I didn't actually have one now, other than the boat itself. So, in Sardinia I took on a 22 year old Swiss kid, Matts, as crew. We got along and I approved of his seamanship, but we prudently decided to look for another, after my several days putting the boat and the new crew through the paces, sailing back westward from Greece. They were both capable and ready for the return back across the Atlantic, where Matts had some very vague plans about getting himself to Costa Rica. And Ibiza was on the way.
During the week and a half we were there, provisioning for the twenty to thirty day crossing and completing a couple of maintenance projects at a boatyard, I asked around a few watering-holes near the yacht clubs and marinas. It wasn't the ideal season, as many cruising boats had left for the hurricane belt and wouldn't be back until the risky months came, but bartenders and marina staff directed me to the likeliest places to find young people seeking passage to somewhere else.
Having heard my life story, especially a lot about its most recent disruption, Matts convinced me to go out where there would be girls, so he picked a particular nightclub because I had liked electronica back in my thirties, and he insisted the newer shit was dope as fuck. I quote. Imagine hearing that in a Swiss-Italian accent! Well what the fuck did I care, never too old to check out some new music and some skirts. Indeed, I was by far the oldest person I saw there, and my ears hand't rung like that in decades, but Matts got us invited to an afterparty which he said some Spanish college students who were in a Barcelona sailing club would be at. It seemed like a good lead, so even though it was late as hell, I steeled myself for an all-nighter and took him up on it.
I hadn't been to this kind of a party in years. About thirty under-thirty people were there, in a condo right near the clubs. I have a 50-year-old body but it's not that bad, soft but not pudgy, solid but not toned, and I didn't give a shit whether people thought I should put my shirt back on. I was hot as fuck after the nightclub, and needed to cool off and dry my sweat in the Mediterranean night out on the balcony. This turned out to be the ideal spot to hang at for the other pragmatic reason, that I could converse with people at a reasonable volume. This was not a chillout scene and, inside, the trip-hop or whatever they were calling it this decade was almost as deafening as the club had been. Good grooves though, and I bounced on my feet as I met various people, drank Portuguese beers, answered questions about the very fresh thirty-two-point compass-rose tattoo swelling on my left pec, and let people know I would be sailing soon and would appreciate another hand.
"Gigi just graduated, maybe she's free!" was the idea that at least three different people gave me. I had heard this name mentioned at a yacht club too, and was becoming more and more eager to figure out where and how to meet her. Apparently she was a talented sailor, and was planning to travel after graduation anyway. The most intriguing thing I had heard about her, from more than one of these folks, was the oddly specific phrase that if I did locate her, she would, quote, make my wish come true.
Huh.
I got some cell numbers and over the next couple of days, checked in again with the boat-club students and really pressed them to help me make contact with this Gigi. While I was waiting for the boatyards to get their work on my new-to-me boat done, I had time to visit some places which were said to be Gigi's hangouts. I hiked, I shopped, I drank beers and ate tapas at numerous places and my temporary friends didn't spot her anywhere for three days. She was known for just utterly ignoring social media, email, and voicemails, so, this effort felt like the 20th century again.
I didn't stop asking other people if they could get free for a month and help out. A large and oddly outfitted yacht showed up in the next marina over from mine, after the yard put my boat back in the water. A marine biologist was concluding a research trip to the North Atlantic gyre. Yes, the Pacific isn't the only ocean with a great garbage patch. His three aides-slash-crew were going to be at loose ends until the next semester began. It would be close - that was only five weeks away.
Two of these students had developed feelings for each other on their 60 days at sea, and were unavailable as they were planning what to do now that they were "together". The third really thought about it but finally said he couldn't make the timing work, since I couldn't abso-fucking-lutely guarantee that our passage would be done before thirty days. Weather, you know?
A chummer from one of the yacht clubs wanted me to take his 18 year old son with me, but it was clear this was sort of Daddy's sail-across-an-ocean fantasy and the kid wasn't going to be into it. A perpetually stubbly, long-haired American surfer-looking dude of 35 years who I kept running into in bars badgered me for days. He insisted he was experienced, easy to get along with, and available, but a perfunctory background check informed me that he had quit another boat two years earlier due to "personality differences", left the skipper solo in the Canaries, and probably caused a handheld VHF radio unit, an unopened bottle of very special Portuguese wine from Porto, and a backup outboard motor for the yacht's dinghy tender go missing. No thanks.
Meanwhile Matts and I continued partying, what else was there to do. Exploring what Ibiza had to offer took just a few days. The final provisioning couldn't happen until we were ready to set off, and we agreed we really wanted the third person so we wouldn't be on watch twelve hours each every day. I was starting to feel a bit desperate, and frankly was also itching to get away from a lizard-like American woman who was four times divorced, thirteen years older than me, and kept turning up on my dock when the boat she was living on was on the other side of the marina. Her age wasn't any problem, it was the desperation, the decades of excessive sun damage to her face and chest, and the entitled Long Island pushiness that violently turned me off. This wasn't how I wanted to get back in the saddle, no matter how casual and easy.
And want it, I did. There had been years of frustrated faithfulness before the final showdowns that incinerated my marriage. There had been opportunities aplenty for me to have strayed, but I couldn't do that. I suppose I was just glad that she hadn't, either. We had failed for other reasons.
Matts and I went to a rave-like festival event. Again I sweated my balls off and was glad it was outdoors, and lost my shirt somehow after taking it off and tucking it into the belt of my shorts. The insistent, body-penetrating electronic music was trance-inducing as midnight approached. I was dehydrated from a day wasting time on the beach and I was ruminating about maybe just taking off now anyway, even though it would be really taxing and challenging crossing the Atlantic with only two sailors aboard. I found myself standing still, eyes closed, just swaying in space as lasers and strobes out on the other side of my eyelids started making me trip out mildly.
I felt some sadness creeping in. I was a little out of place, the earsplitting music was exhausting me, and there seemed like no chance at all of scoring if I had even had the confidence to hit on some youthful woman-child like those in the barely-drinking-age crowd. Well, this was Europe, so I suppose they were way past drinking age, but that didn't make them grownups, to me! I thought about where I could possibly meet a population of available women closer to my age, once I got back to the States. I didn't know anything about the Tinder or however people were supposed to be meeting these days. I got a little spun out thinking about how lovely it would be to just make someone happy for once.
I don't know how long it was, but I felt a hand on my arm after some time. I opened my eyes, feeling headachy and sad, and collected my wits and looked to regard a diminutive yet fit young woman in - I don't even know how to describe the rave clothes she had on. Wild colors, net-like sections revealing skin in interesting places, a little makeup that fluoresced around her dark eyes in carefully drawn points, and a ton of bangles on one wrist, the other bearing a broad black leather thingy with rings and studs.