I awoke the next morning in the kind of glorious haze you only get after fucking an Asian lesbian in the ass. You really must try it sometime. I didn't even bother to get out of bed until my over-full bladder insisted, and even then I didn't get dressed. In fact, apart from a few phone calls to my partners about Bev's proposal, I didn't do jack that day.
Retirement before you're 30: also highly recommended.
It wasn't until the late afternoon, when my stomach started complaining about the lack of attention, that I remembered Carla and our date. She had looked like she could use a good meal, so I dialed her. It took about nine rings before she answered.
"Hey, Mr. Cooper!" she said with poorly-feigned enthusiasm. "Is this about this evening?"
"Why yes, it is," I agreed. "I was wondering if you were free for dinner. Nothing fancy, but I thought I'd check out that new Italian joint over on Broad."
"Don't waste your money," she said. "Gino's sucks. Mafia run. And any Jersey guy who has to move to this town to make it, well, you gotta wonder. How about Michelina's, instead?" she proposed.
I considered. A little dive-y, perhaps, but I'd eaten there before. Good, basic Italian food, and probably cheaper than Gino's anyway. "Sure. Meet you there? Or shall I pick you up?"
"Um . . . that might be difficult, now," she said, nervously. "I'll see you there. Seven. Get a table in the back."
A few more hours of puttering around later, I found myself at Michelina's getting led to a back table by an enormous middle-aged woman who managed to mix the high points of both Italian and Southern accents, to humorous effect.. I ordered a bottle of the house red and munched on bread sticks and waited.
And waited. And waited.
It was quarter to eight before the prodigal whore appeared. She looked better than yesterday, but still very tired. You could park a car in the circles under her eyes. She was wearing a slightly flirty casual dress and way-too-high heels, and from the neck down looked supremely humpable. But her eyes gave her away. Her manager had apparently had her doing customer service calls all day, and it showed.
"Heya, Coop," she said as she plopped down. "Hope you weren't waiting long."
"Well, a while," I admitted. "I'm starved. And I'm ready to order." I poured her a glass of the red and waited while she scanned the menu. She ended up ordering the special before draining her glass in one long pull.
"That's the stuff," she said, approvingly, refilling the glass. "Cheap, red, and sweet."
"Busy day?"
"All day," she agreed. "I had a lot of catching up to do. Remind me never to pull that kinda shit again. I'm getting too old for this."
"Would you listen if I did?"
"Nope," she admitted. "I'm kinda stubborn. Taurus."
"So how many dicks have you sucked today?" I asked, conversationally. She looked at me through narrowed eyes.
"You kinda get off on hearing shit like that, don't you?" she accused.
"Well, yeah," I admitted. "That a problem?"
"I've had guys want me to stick baseball bats up their asses," she sighed, chuckling. "A little casual voyeurism isn't going to shock me. For your information, I've sucked five dicks, fucked three, and took it up the ass. And all for free, my little punishment for going AWOL. I knock you out, I'm back in with Bill."
"Is that terribly important to you?"
"At the moment, yes," she agreed, biting her lip. "Believe me, there are worse pimps in the neighborhood. Bill's a hard worker, doesn't abuse his girls, and he splits pretty fairly. I could do a lot worse. And he pulls some great clients, too. Gets them from that business school."
"Huh?"
"Yeah, Bill's getting his MBA." A pimp with a Master's degree. In business. Wow.
"That's . . . impressive."
"His Daddy runs most of the business around Central University, but he's mostly retired now. Bill's the oldest of his kids and is expected to inherit most of the business. But all of his siblings, legitimate and illegitimate, have gone on to college." She sipped her wine. "All seventeen of them."
"Now that's really impressive," I admitted. "You seem pretty knowledgeable about it." Carla shrugged, and rolled her eyes. "Look, just because I was a stupid cunt in High School and ended up a whore doesn't mean I'm an idiot," she said. "It's not a terribly complicated business, and I keep my eyes open and my mouth shut."
"When you aren't sucking someone off," I added.
"Actually, that's when I listen the most. It doesn't matter how smart or rich a man is, he's the most vulnerable when he's getting his oil changed. So yeah, I know about the business end of things. I didn't want to end up like . . . most entry-level girls. You cross the wrong person out of ignorance and you don't end up well. It's a survival skill."
"So now you're a seasoned professional. I can respect that. And I have to admit, you have the skills for it. And the looks." Even whores are subject to flattery. She favored me with a genuine smile.