My old Honda 1100 was really getting long in the tooth. After twenty years and 37,000 miles reliability was becoming a question. So I took the plunge and splurged on a new 600 sportbike.
Hearing that my old bike would soon be sold, my wife's sister Fran surprised me by inquiring through my wife if I would take her for a ride on it. Now I've known Fran for 15+ years and I've owned the bike the whole time and not once did she express any interest in riding. I didn't give the matter much thought other than telling her she would have to schedule it soon, since I wanted to sell the bike before the fall.
A few days later she comes over. My wife Paula and I go over with her where to sit, how to hang on and how to avoid getting burned by the exhaust pipes. Now like I said, I've known Fran for a long time and to tell you the truth, she's never really done much for me attraction-wise. As my wife's older sister, she's well into her forties. She's always been heavy, and while that has equipped her with very large breasts, the rest has been big too. Fran is a continual dieter, dropping 20 lbs. and putting them back on repeatedly. While she has a pretty face and she could potentially be quite attractive, it has never really worked for me. To the best of my knowledge, she has never been all that attracted to me either, although I would have to say in all modesty that I am better looking than her husband. My wife has always said that Fran was very attractive through high school and weighed like 120 lbs. on her wedding day. She explains that her sister's weight problem is tied to low self-esteem, the low self-esteem leads to depression and eating which generates the weight problem. This is all too complex for me.
Surprisingly, Fran's latest weight-loss plan seemed to be working – sensible eating coupled with regular trips to the gym. I wouldn't go so far as say she was svelte, but she did look better than she has in recent memory and seemed more upbeat as well.
Nevertheless, I couldn't resist an opportunity to bust her chops the day we were to ride, even with my wife present.
"You don't think I'm taking you for a ride with those clothes on do you?" I sternly questioned her.
"Why, what's wrong with these clothes?" She replied, looking at her jeans and sweater.
"They are nowhere near sexy enough. Biker chicks have a reputation for sexiness you know, and you are undermining it."
"Well, I didn't bring a change of clothes, so you'll just have to tough it out."
This exchange had all three of us all smiling, so continuing in the same vein I then asked her, "Did your husband tell you what the charge is for riding?"
"No, what charge?"
"Gas, grass or ass, nobody rides for free. And since I already have gas and work prohibits me being involved with grass, you know what that leaves."
This brought forth a chuckle from us all, and with that said we got on the bike and rode. Fran was a pretty nervous passenger, but to her credit she didn't freak out or try to lean the wrong way or anything. We rode for about 20 miles and as we waited for a red light, I leaned back and told her we needed to find a secluded area for her to pay for her ride. She just gently swatted me and smiled from under her helmet. Needless to say, we didn't actually do anything but ride back home where she thanked me and said she enjoyed the ride and hoped her husband would consider buying the bike. I did hit the brake firmly a few times get those big boobs pressed against me.
