I prayed for a miracle. But I didn't get one.
Jazz left 15 days later.
We spent as much time together as we could. We made love 32 times in those two weeks, at her apartment, in my parents' car (front seat as well as back seat), and in my bedroom. I was trying to sear the memories onto my mind's eye.
The girls organized two parties for Jazz. One was for Amazons only, but they held a second gathering, to which Gerry, Max, Les, and I were invited. We went dancing, and had a great time. Cyn and Max slipped away early, which surprised nobody. Lucy and Les were still pretending that they weren't a couple, which also fooled no one.
Angie cried, and apologized to me three more times for spilling the beans prematurely. I assured her that she was forgiven.
Trisha stunned all of the guys. She looked like a different person. The double chin was long gone. She had her weight down to 125 lbs. I couldn't get over the difference. We hadn't seen her for three months, during which she had continued to diet, and to work out like a fiend.
She had also changed her hair, and, of course, her whole wardrobe.
- "What have you done with my friend Patricia?" I asked her.
- "Still here." she said.
- "What's your secret?" asked Gerry.
- "No secret." she laughed. "Just hard work."
- "You have to tell me how you did it!" he insisted.
Kasia cried (yes, her parents let her out). Angie cried some more. Jazz smiled and laughed, and promised to come back and kick their asses if they misbehaved. Or maybe it was if they
didn't
misbehave.
It wasn't just putting on a brave front. Jazz had cried plenty of tears, both alone and with me, until she just decided to stop.
- "Can't change the facts." she said. "Might just as well accept 'em."
She kissed me long and hard at the airport, and held me tight. She pulled back, and looked me in the eyes.
- "I love you, Dean." she said. "I won't ever forget you. And you don't have to forget me. I hope you'll think of me every time you play Amazons. But you have to get back out there and find somebody. Make her as happy as you made me."
And then she was gone.
*************************
I moped around for a week, playing sappy music, reviewing every picture I'd ever taken of her, and generally wasting my time. Then I really got depressed.
I spent hours in front of the computer, composing long emails that I (wisely) never sent. I searched up articles on jazz music, or art, that I thought she might like, and sent them instead, keeping my own comments to a minimum.
Her reply, in one case, was pure Jazz:
I love you and I miss you. But I can't read all of these articles that you're sending me. The School of Design here is really intense. Luckily, they're accepting my first year, so I don't have to repeat any classes, but I have a ton of work to do if I'm going to catch up. I have a pile of reading about Australian and Asian art, architecture, and design. I go to school, and I read. That's my life so far.
I was hoping that your life was more interesting - that you'd tell me what you're up to, or how the guys are. What games have you been playing? Did you win? Have you introduced 'Maharajah'? Are Cyn and Max still together? (Seriously, I give them a month)
That's what I want (or need) to hear from you, Dean. Please forgive me if I can't reply to your questions about the articles you sent. I haven't read them. And I probably won't be able to read the next one(s) you send.
Please say hi to Les, Max, and Gerry. Then go play a game, or ask a girl out, and then tell me about it.
Love You
Jazz
I stopped sending her articles.
But I missed the sound of her voice, so I phoned her.
- "What are you doing!" she answered - instead of 'Hello'.
- "Caller I.D.?" I asked.
- "Damn it, Dean! Don't you dare start calling me. It's too expensive!"
- "I miss the sound of your voice." I said.
She didn't answer right away.
- "I miss you too." she said. "I told you that. But it's not going to help anything if you spend a fortune calling me long-distance. And you aren't going to get on with your life if phoning me is the highlight of your day."
I had been about to say exactly that.
"You can Skype me on my birthday, or for some special occasion. I have to go, though - I have company."
I apologized, and said goodbye, and then tortured myself for hours imagining that her 'company' was a guy.
Thank God for Les and the guys. We decided to play a Kingmaker marathon on the last Friday before school started up again. I hosted.
Max actually put his arm around me and gave me a hug.
- "I feel for you, man." he said.
- "We miss her, too." said Gerry. "She was one of a kind."
- "She
is
one of a kind." said Les.
They then collaborated to let me win. I caught on after five turns. Les marched his army past a castle I owned, instead of laying siege to it. Then Max left one of my isolated nobles alone, in order to attack a stack of Gerry's troops at much worse odds.
When it was my turn, I simply swept all of the pieces from the map.
- "What are you doing?" asked Max.
- "Starting over." I said. "If you idiots are going to give me a pity win, I'll just go play with myself."
- "Eew." said Gerry.
I ignored him. "If you're going to throw the game, you need to be a lot more subtle. I would rather have you kick my ass than play shit like that."
- "In that case," said Max, "prepare to have thine ass properly kicked."
They came for me, with bells on. Within the first six turns, I had had lost every castle I owned, along with three quarters of my nobles and virtually all of my troops. I was down to two weak nobles and 30 Burgundian crossbowmen, sailing around the southern coast of England. I had to pray that there would be no gales or storms - the former would sink me, while the latter would drive me ashore, where I would be easy pickings for whoever was nearest.
Since the other three couldn't reach me, they turned on each other. Max had the better of it, which backfired, because Les and Gerry allied against him.
One of the great things about Kingmaker is that you keep drawing cards, no matter how weak you are. You get new nobles joining your faction, ships or mercenaries or towns, and you can rebuild your strength.