"Dan, I want to fuck myself to death."
"Well, every man wants to do that," Bill's lawyer laughed. "Seriously, what can I do for you today, Bill?"
"I am serious, Dan. I'm dying. The doctor says I have a year. The way I feel some days, I think he's being generous."
"What is it? Cancer?"
"Thirty years of smoking. It caught up to me. I'm only 45 years old and I'm dying. It sure as hell wasn't worth it."
"I'm truly sorry, Bill. So you're here to update your will?"
"Yes. I want to add someone."
"Who?"
"I don't know...a woman."
"You have to be a little more specific. Does she have a name? How will I know her?"
"Easy. She'll be the one who fucks me to death."
"You lost me, Bill."
"I want to have sex with as many beautiful women as I can before I die, and the one who has sex with me when I actually die gets my retirement account. It should be around one million dollars."
"You're joking."
"I'm deadly serious. I need you to help me make the offer iron-clad. If she kills me, she gets the money."
"You always had a flair for the dramatic, Bill. Tell me more and I'll set it up so it's legal.
Within a week, Dan sent the pages over to be signed. There were the usual dozen pages of legal BS. But it all boiled down to a few simple conditions--no weapons, no poisons, no drugs, no violence, just straight up sex--and the woman who fucked Bill to death would get one million dollars. Bill looked over the papers carefully then sent them back.
The same day he hired a designer to set up a web site where candidates could post their bio and picture. Entries started to pour in quickly as word got around. Each day Bill perused the entries. The quantity and quality of women offering themselves to him was more than he could have imagined. Eventually, he chose four women for the first interviews, but it was a very difficult choice. They were all so beautiful.
He chose to do the interviews in his den which he always thought was the most comfortable room in the house. He set up a video camera so that he could review the tapes later if he had trouble picking a woman.
The Interviews
Bill opened the door for his first interviewee, Melissa, a beautiful young brunette who he knew wouldn't give him the time of day under normal circumstances. He showed her into the den.
"I read your web site and everything, but I'm still not sure what this is. Is it like for a porno movie or something?"
"No, it's just what it says on the web site. I'm dying and I want to go out with a bang. If you're the lucky girl who does it for me, you get the money."
"Awesome," she says standing and pulling off her top.
"Whoa! Not so fast. You haven't actually been selected yet. There are some conditions."
"Conditions?" she looked at him blankly. Then realizing her top was off, "Oh...should I put my top back on?"
"Uhh, no. That won't be necessary." He thought, I'm not dead yet.
"Now, some conditions. First, you have to pass a medical exam to prove you don't have any diseases, you know, sexual diseases."
"OK, that's no problem, but if you're dying, what difference does it make?"
"Oh...good point...but the idea of sex disease grosses me out." Bill shuddered. "Then you have to agree to have sex without a condom."
"OK...how many guys?" she blinked innocently.
"Huh? Oh...just me. In fact you can't have any sex with anyone after your medical."
"Ever? I'm not sure..."
"No, of course not. Just until after you've had sex with me, and, you know...I'm dead."
"OK, I can do that I think."
"My doctor will be present to make sure nobody cheats, you know, like trying to poison me instead of fucking me to death. He'll also be there to pronounce me dead."
"Geez...that sounds so final, but OK."
"You have 24 hours to fuck me to death. You can do anything you want for as long as you want and as often as you want. And so can I."
"OK, my boyfriends tell me I'm pretty talented."
"We'll see. Here," he handed her a card. "Go see this doctor. He'll take care of all the necessary tests. Then go home and wait for a call."
"Cool. It's all kind of spooky, though."
Bill did all four interviews that day and all of them went about the same. When he got the lab results several days later, he went through the interview tapes one more time and ultimately settled on Melissa to kill him. He called her to give her the news and told her a limo would pick her up at 6 pm that night. Her 24 hours would start when she walked in the door of his house.
Death Comes Knocking - Melissa
When Bill opened his front door that evening, he knew Melissa had been the right choice. The pangs in his heart told him it would be a quick death. "She is drop dead gorgeous," he thought chuckling at his dark little joke.
Bill led Melissa into the den and offered her a drink.
"Just some white wine, please," her voice a shaky. "I'm a little nervous."
"Understandable," Bill said and brought two glasses of wine.