When I was going to law school at night and working as a paralegal at a non-profit children's advocacy group (called "Child Assist") during the day, despite my high libido I didn't have much time for romantic, or even just straight sexual, relationships. Aside from a few infrequent all sex, no romance, three fucks per session, evenings with one of my night school classmates named Jen (who worked as hard and was as stressed out as I was), I went for almost a year without sex. In an attempt to retain my sanity, I developed on-line relationships with three different women; I used "Blake" as my screen name. I'm not really sure I know what they looked like even though we exchanged allegedly accurate photos, and of course I couldn't be sure what they told me was true; but any information I could confirm checked out.
Sharon (I didn't know any last names) was a big buxom brunette, provocative and entertaining, but turned out to be a quean. She was the only one of the three who overtly proclaimed she wanted to hook up in real life, but I wasn't interested in that.
Katie was a sexy upbeat woman, with very long blond hair, and if the photos she sent were real, had the best crotch in history! Wow! We had very pleasant exchanges, but even though I considered once or twice asking to meet her, I never did -- nor did she ask to meet me.
Cindy was a vivacious redhead with a bombastic personality. We had some very hot exchanges, and each of us always teased the other about not having the guts to follow through on what we "threatened" to do to the other sexually. In actuality, however, neither one of us had any illusions about a real life relationship especially since we lived more than a thousand miles apart.
I lost touch with all of Sharon, Katie and Cindy once I graduated from law school, concentrating on real life relationships -- none of which worked out for more than a few months. However my legal career was bouncing along nicely, and by the time I was 36 while I continued to work pro bono a couple of days a month for Child Assist, I was making decent money litigating for corporate clients.
I showed up for a court hearing in a case I had in Raleigh, North Carolina, and for the first time I met opposing counsel. Her name was Katherine Morris. A really attractive woman in her mid 30s, about 5'6" tall, slim build, short blond hair, big blue eyes, and unique eyeglasses that made her look sophisticated and cute at the same time. She was dressed in a conservative but elegant blue jacket and skirt with a small slit along one side, three inch patent leather heels, and a chic silk blouse. Yes, I did notice!
The hearing was on a motion to dismiss brought by Ms. Morris; the argument was heated, but civil; there were some tense moments, but fortunately for me the judge denied the motion. Since the case would continue, Ms. Morris and I met in a conference room in the court to discuss discovery. We were both being adamant, yet primarily fair, in what we were looking for, and cool toward each other. At the same time we curiously kept looking at each other with quizzical expressions on our faces. I don't know why I was so intrigued by her appearance, and I'm sure she didn't know why she was intrigued by mine either.
During the exchange of discovery in the ensuing months we had a number of fairly acrimonious disputes. Near the end of discovery, one of the documents produced by Ms. Morris' office was clearly attorney work product. I just glanced over it, and quickly determined that it was her trial strategy. That put me on the horns of a dilemma. Should I remain quiet and use the document to my advantage -- under the local court rules I didn't have an ethical obligation to return it, or even let her know that I had it. Or should I do the moral, as opposed to the "ethical," thing and not read the document and return it to her. I called her up, told her I had it but hadn't read it, she asked me to shred it, and I did.
After the document incident our relationship got much more cordial. Of course we still needed to remain fairly strident in our positions to adequately represent our clients, and once the trial started we were at each other's throats. At the start of the second day of trial, just as the jury was about to be seated Ms. Morris, who I had determined was a Miss Morris, walked past me to her seat and said "How are you today, Blake?"
Blake? What the fuck? I'm Rob Dawson; the only people who referred to me as "Blake" were my long-ago Internet sex friends! As I glared over at Katherine Morris with my mouth agape, I mouthed "Katie?" A devilish smile came over her face.
I got destroyed that morning in court. Katie had thrown me way off my game, and she was profound. It got so bad that my client's in house attorney asked me "What the fuck's going on, Rob?" Talk about embarrassing.
At lunchtime I was able to regroup and did OK in the afternoon, and actually ended on a high note. It was the strangest half day I've ever had in a trial, though. Throughout the afternoon Katie and I kept on exchanging barbs full of sexual innuendo, not just at bench conferences, but even in front of the jury. I think our comments went over the head of most of the people in the courtroom; however:
--One juror in the back row almost started laughing out loud when Katie blurted out, in response a question I asked a witness, "Objection, your honor, apparently Mr. Dawson doesn't know how hard it has to be to go in the back door."
--The court reporter had at least a dozen wicked smiles on her face, the biggest when I said in response to another objection from Katie "Is that all Ms. Morris wants to get off her chest?" and in response to a cross-examination question from Katie "She's trying to lick my lollipop."
--Even the judge chuckled occasionally, especially at "Mr. Dawson is trying to wax the banana with that question, your honor," and "With that attempt, instead of spooning Mr. Dawson is forking."
When the session was over for the day, the Judge called both Katie and I into his chambers. "You two are good attorneys. You should have figured out by now that this is a 50-50 case. Do you really want six laymen deciding your clients' fates? You need to figure out a way to settle this case."
"What if we can't reach some resolution, your honor?" I asked.
"I have two rulings on evidence coming up -- both are bad for one of your clients -- I'm not saying which one -- so one of you really will be rolling the dice. Be here at 8:30 tomorrow morning to tell me what progress you've made, and if you didn't settle it, why."
Katie and I each told our clients what the judge said; I got a bottom line, I'm sure she did too. She and I then went into the court's conference room, which had a frosted glass door, and no lock.
I had something more pressing on my mind than settlement. "So, you little minx, when did you realize I was your long lost Internet love?" I asked with a big smile on my face.
"I thought it was you after our first meeting. So I decided to pull the trick with my work product document. I knew you were always straight with me, and if you told me about the document I was going to be quite sure that it was you."
"That was a trick, you little scamp?"
"Yeah, clever, huh!" Katie responded with a cat-that-ate the canary look. As she removed her glasses (those and the short hair were probably what threw me off), unbuttoned the top three buttons on her blouse, and sat on the conference room table with her legs apart, she continued while staring into my eyes "Of course the trial strategy on the document was fake, so if you were a bad guy it wouldn't have helped you."
All my fantasy feelings about Katie rushed back into my brain -- and dick. I remembered how hard she got my dick during our Internet chats; how the photos she sent me were of the most perfect pussy and rosebud I had ever seen in my life; how her smile and flaxen hair were enough to cheer me up on even the grayest day.
