There's no point beating about the bush, dear reader. This writer believes in getting to the point straight away - 18-year-old Sidney McQueen has both a head AND body made for sin.
The blonde temptress has always attracted the male gaze with her banging body and blow-job lipped face. She could quite literally wear a bin bag and still make traffic grind to a halt.
In fact, this is pretty much what happened on one hot summer's day in England. Sidney was on her way to a job interview, for a secretary position at a huge pharacuetical company in the city centre.
Dressed to impress in a tight red buttoned blouse, black pencil skirt and four-inch high heels, most other women would look the embodiment of class and sophistication. Yet somehow, Sidney looked like the ultimate fuck doll. The blouse buttons were straining against her mighty milk mountains and her pencil skirt was enduring a similar struggle around the back where Sidney's spellbinding rump obscenely curved out and back in again. The only bare flesh actually on show was a little leg, yet as she circumnavigated her way through the city streets, men around her slobbered at the briefest sight of this blonde beauty, as she purposely pressed ahead.
One particular chap was so mesmerised by Sidney as she tottered on by, her hips shaking as if to music from the orchestral gods, he walked head-first into a lamp-post.
Another man, who was walking hand in hand with his girlfriend, made the cardinal sin of being unable to resist an all too-obvious double-take. His punishment? Well, his better half became both judge, jury and executioner as she dished out a thunderous slap to his face. The slap was delivered with such force that one of his teeth actually freed itself from his drooling mouth and flew across the pavement and into the begging hat of a street busker. Not quite content, he also had the ignominy of a complementary kick in the groin for good measure.
A bit of an over-reaction, you might wonder? Perhaps, but as well as turning his head to view the bootylicious curves of young Sidney, the now tooth-gapped fella had also made the mistake of vocalising his thoughts. Dear oh dear! In this case, he had said in his previously much deeper voice, "Corr, look at the arse on that! I would!"
Meanwhile, the aforementioned street performer had momentarily forgotten about today's takings and had raced after Sidney, serenading her with love songs. She flashed him a smile and a flutter of her eyelashes, leaving the guitar-playing busker with love in his heart and lust in his now tent-like trousers.
A group of builders cat-called and wolf whistled as Sidney made a saucy reply about their big tools. But nothing would stop her from reaching her destination, a towering office building jutting out in the sky like...well, Sidney's tits and ass.
Sidney's heaving chest bounced, her hips swaying, her bum-cheeks motioning left and right, hypnotising the humdrum of city life.
One man had seen enough and chanced his arm. Dropping to one knee, he proposed. He actually proposed. To a woman he had only just met. But what a woman! When you know, you know.
Sidney just giggled, as if she received proposals of marriage every day (it was actually a very regular occurrence, perhaps more weekly).
And then it happened. Men really are simple creatures. A long line of cars were driving slowly, as the one and only Sidney McQueen passed by.
CRASH! BANG! WALLOP!
Vehicle after vehicle ploughed into each other, so taken with the sight of Sidney, so interested in ploughing into her, their motors were a write-off.
So in a five minute walk, we had a lamp-post injury, one lost tooth and all-mighty kick in the scrotum, a marriage proposal and a five-car pile-up.
Sidney finally stopped herself, as she admired the phallic-shaped Star Pharmaceuticals building for her job interview.
