There's something about getting to know someone online, and often knowing them in a much more intimate way than people in their daily lives do, that creates a new reality. A tiny universe where only the two of you exist in your most perfect, most poignant, most hyper sexualized forms. Sure, I may not know that you hate onions, but I know you like it when I graze my teeth over the hollow in your neck. You don't know my mother's name but you know how sensitive my nipples are and that I love to hear your ragged breath in my ear. Together, we create a magical, fantasy land of caresses and pet names and boundary pushing that probably couldn't be sustained in real life. Probably. And when we turn on our PCs, open our laptops or swipe our cell phones it is in fact the same thing as teleporting to a land only you and I have access to enter. The real world of meetings, classes, families, and responsibilities fade and we arrive ideal and perfect in each other's arms.
I always liked the fantasy world. Preferred it. I liked the distance, the ability to turn off when it was too much. So much easier than a real relationship. I wasn't jealous of his real-life lovers. I had no right to be. I had them too. But there is nothing as startling as into a restaurant and looking up to see a face you'd only seen in pictures, seeing a man to whom you'd told countless secrets and who'd with just typed words had pulled from you countless toe-curling orgasms, and seeing that same man laughing with some other girl? It's jolting. You feel a pain you don't deserve to have and a shallow envy the screeches in your mind like a fingernail on a chalkboard.
* * * * *
Sydney strolled through the city streets marveling the tall buildings and the bustling crowds and she loved it in the way only small-town girls can truly love a big city. Her first city, so many firsts this week! Her first big city, her first trip alone, her first flight, her first time meeting a man she'd met online. It was all very exciting and extremely terrifying. Sydney was so glad she'd gone with her gut and came a day earlier than she had told Will just so she could have these moments to herself. She wanted time to calm her nerves and collect herself, time to explore the city and feel herself grow into the woman she was destined to become.
When she had first started chatting with Will, she was a girl pretending to be a woman, a freshman in college who simply had a way with words. He'd complimented her in the most perfect ways and very quickly their chats had become daily and addictive. For months, they had chatted from the most mundane of things (tacos, movies, books) to the most erotic (he wanted to spank her, she wanted to swallow his cum) until finally they had to be together in the flesh. The time worked out perfectly, he was still on vacation the week after Christmas and would be home until New Years and she didn't have to be back at school until the first of the year. She booked a flight, spent her entire savings, lied to her parents and friends and one December day she flew away from sunny Florida and landed in icy Chicago. She had no idea what to expect but she had not expected her life to completely change.
That first night alone, Sydney dressed up in short eggplant colored dress with long sleeves and a coat she had bought just for this trip. She strolled down the streets, stopping in stores she could never afford to shop in and looking in huge windows at the restaurants and bars scattered down the streets. She was getting hungry and wanted a nice meal but felt awkward about eating alone. Strolling to the end of a block, she found a nice Italian place with lots of bar seating. It looked perfect and smelled heavenly. She strolled in and the hostess, a gorgeous dark-haired girl, showed her to an empty seat in the large horse-shoe shaped bar. Syd slid out of her coat and settled at the bar, ordering a drink. She pulled out her phone, smiling at a new message from Will [Tomorrow!] With that one word, so many feelings swirled inside her. Excitement, a little awe at how brave she was, anticipation, hope. [Tomorrow!!] She answered back.
The restaurant was dimly lit and classic Italian music was playing making such a romantic atmosphere. Maybe we can come back here this week. she thought. It was a perfect date night place. The only thing wrong was a girl across the bar with an annoying high-pitched laugh, but Sydney couldn't be mad at that. She was sure the willowy redhead was here on a date too and it certainly sounded like she was having a good time. She peaked across her drink at the couple across the bar, the man had his face tilted towards her, speaking in her ear. He must be teasing her because she would shake her head and giggle loudly.
Sydney ordered and people watched at the bar. It was fun to watch others out on dates, chatting with friends, but her eyes kept being drawn back to the couple across the bar in the dark corner. She didn't know why but assumed it was the girl's giggles (Syd was dying to know what was so funny) or that the gentleman she was with (he was quite a bit older, but handsome with glasses and a neat beard) didn't seem as into her as her giggles would let on. He would say something to her and pick up his phone almost completely ignoring her and finally putting it down to return to the conversation. A bit rude, Syd thought picking up her phone to read Will's message [I can't wait to hold you in my arms and then hold your arms over your head as I kiss every inch of your body before fucking you senseless, princess.]
Sydney smiled down at her phone, feeling that familiar tingle and ache between her legs. She tried to think of something equally sexy but settled for the truth. [I can't wait! I'm so wet for you right now.] The waiter slid her lasagna in front of her and she thanked him sweetly, then asked where the restroom was and the waiter pointed across the bar to a little hallway behind the couple she'd been spying on. Sydney grabbed her phone, leaving her purse and coat and walked around the bar towards the restroom, and passing the giggling couple, sneaked a peak as she passed. The girl was trying to talk and eat spaghetti at the same time and the man turned to glance at Sydney and their eyes met. His eyes grew wide in alarm and Sydney seeing him close, knew she could never have mistaken those green eyes fringed with dark lashes anywhere.
Will? Her Will? Will on a date with another girl? Will on a date with an awful annoying girl the day before they were supposed to meet?!
Blood flushed into Sydney's face and she darted for the ladies' room. Slamming the door and locking it behind her, she stared at her shocked face in the mirror. Her brain raced with thoughts almost too quickly to pick them out. What had she been thinking? She, a twenty-year-old college student had flown across the country to meet an older man, who'd seduced her online? What a complete moron. BUT. He technically, never lied. They never said they wouldn't see other people? She didn't own him. What was she going to do?
Her phone started dinging, [Sydney?] [Sydney, are you in Chicago?]
She looked at the messages and rolled her eyes. [Will, go back to you date. She seems WONDERFUL!]
[It's not a date. She's a coworker.] [Please come out of the bathroom. I'm standing in the hall. I look like a creep.] [Why are you already in Chicago??]
Sydney stared at her phone, unsure what to believe. A coworker? Maybe...but at a fancy place like this? Sydney had never been more upset that she had not grabbed her bag on the way to the restroom. She waited, ear pressed to the thick wooden door, until she thought she heard his retreating footsteps and his voice (his sweet sexy voice) speaking to the stupid ginger twat back at their seats. Quickly, she snatched up her phone and darted out of the bathroom. Passing them as quickly as she could, she practically ran up to her seat and plate, motioning for the waiter as she gathered her coat and bag. She saw Will speaking briefly to his date and start making his way towards her.
"Yes ma'am" the waiter sauntered over with a polite smile.
"I'm so sorry. I need to go. Something's come up. Can I get the check?" Her words poured out frantically enough for the waiter to look concerned and walk off to get her check.
"Sydney. Babe." Her stomach turned at his voice behind her. She resisted the tears that begged to fill her eyes. She couldn't believe this dream weekend had all gone so terrible wrong. His large warm hand circled her upper arm as she stood like a statue refusing to look at him instead staring at the tall, thin auburn-haired woman across the bar who had taken out her phone and was scrolling un-bothered. The waiter returned quickly with the check and, before she could even reach for it Will leaned across her pushing his credit card at the water and telling him to ring up all the three meals. The waiter was asking if she wanted her food to go but she just shook her up, snatched up her coat and bolted for the door.
"Sydney! Fuck..." Will called after her but she knew he at least had to wait for his card to leave. She pounded down the sidewalk, not feeling the frigid air, not seeing the faces of the crowd, not knowing where she was going. The embarrassed tears that had threatened in the restaurant finally slid down her face causing her vision to blur enough to make her stop, stepping into a dark alleyway to wipe her eyes and catch her breath. Standing in the shadows, she heard footsteps pounding up the street and finally saw him pass, looking for her. He stopped, looking up the street, across the street, and finally turning to look behind him. And he saw her, standing there in the shadows and he froze.
The moment went on, what felt like forever. A handsome man standing planted on the street forcing people to walk around him as he starred into the alleyway at slightly disheveled girl shivering in a purple dress. Two people getting their first real look at each other. Then the moment passed, and Sydney turned, walking up the alleyway putting distance between them. Will followed, catching up easily and he grabbed her arm first gently, then forcefully, making her stop.
"Sydney, dammit. Stop. Please!" He spun her around, pushing her against the wall, and pinning her in between his arms. She just looked back, taking every inch of his face in. The furrowed brown, the fierce green eyes, his neat salted beard. He was breathing heavily, controlling his fury, trying to speak calmly. "Syd, baby doll, this...this is NOT how this week was supposed to go. Tamra, the woman in the restaurant, is a coworker. Nothing more. Please listen."
Her bottom lip trembled, she felt more and more ridiculous but she was still hurt. "Will," her voice hoarse, "She clearly likes you. You should go be with her." She put her hands on his chest and pushed, trying to extricate herself.
He rumbled and pushed her back against the wall. "Listen, if I wanted to be in there with her, I would be back there. The only reason I accepted the offer to come out was so I didn't sit around my apartment waiting for tomorrow, when I'd finally...see you." Their eyes met and she believed him. Their faces were so close that she could feel his warm breath tickle her ear and smell a hint of the wine he'd been drinking. She leaned forward and did something she had dreamed for months about doing. She pressed her mouth firmly and finally against his mouth and kissed him. Then pulled her face back to look at him and smiled.
