Friend Needed Soulmate Found

I was in funk for two weeks. If my wife paid more attention to me, she would have seen what I was going through. She didn't though. All I could think about was Andrea. It was like a death, she was just gone. I debated every day on emailing her. I wanted to, but I kept thinking it was for the best we'd parted ways. The evenings were the worst. Those were the times when we typically chatted the most and also when my emotions were the rawest. The first few days I felt myself waiting to hear from her at 6:45 PM. That was when she'd always text me and let me know she made it to work safely. My phone remained silent.

The third weekend after our breakup, I was sitting on my patio. It was a cool, fall night and I had a fire going in my fire pit. I watched the flames and thought of her. How was she? Had she been able to start to move on? Were things any better for her at home? Nothing had changed for me, despite my best efforts, which is what led me to Andrea in the first place. I had returned to the emptiness that I felt before May.

As I sat there, I thought I should send her an email, just to see if she was okay. I wondered if she would respond? Maybe she'd just read it and delete it. Maybe she'd already deleted the account all together. I pulled out my phone and started typing.

'Hey.

I hope that you are doing okay. I've been thinking about writing this every day since I told you goodbye. I miss you so much. I can't stop thinking about you. I know what we said to one another, and it's all still true, but I must have you in my life. I love you Andrea.

Bryan'

Andrea: The act of breaking up is hard but nothing prepares you for the days after. Bryan and I had either texted or emailed almost every day for the past 5 months. The days after we broke up I felt empty. I kept checking my phone thinking maybe I had missed something, but there was nothing there. No messages, no emails. I felt so alone. I cried a lot when I was alone and just did not have much energy or the will to do much. I knew in my heart that this is what we needed to do, but my heart also told me I was crazy. I had found an amazing man who understood me better in the 5 months we had shared, then my husband who had been with me for 11 years. I loved him and that was part of the problem. There were spouses and kids involved and that just made everything complicated. I reminded myself every day that this was for the best and that it would get better. I tried really hard to believe that it would.

I continued checking my phone daily. I knew there would not be any messages from him, but I kept hoping. Like with anything else, I just took one day at a time. Thank goodness, I work a lot and that kept me busy. I tried my best to keep my mind off everything that had happened. Then one morning I woke up and checked my phone like normal and there was an email, from him. I'm pretty sure I stopped breathing and just stared at my phone. He was reaching back out to me. What did he want? Did he want to get back together? My emotions were running wild. I continued to stare at the message sitting there and tried to manage my thoughts. What if he wanted to get back together? I loved him and I missed him so very much. He had become not only my lover, but an amazing friend. We talked about everything and I had missed that so very much. I was also still torn about whether or not being lovers was a good idea. I finally decided that I would just read what he had to say and attempt to get him back as my friend. I needed that. I needed him. The absence of him from my life had been too much for me to bear. I needed him in my life, even if it was just as friends. I made the resolution that we would work it out somehow and be friends but nothing more for the sake of our families. Once I had my mind made up, I opened his email, hopeful that we would work through this. My heart began racing as I read.

I slept in the next morning and my first act had been to grab my phone to see if she had responded. To my disappointment, she hadn't. My wife and son were gone somewhere so I walked into the bathroom to begin my morning routine. I'd just gotten out of the shower when I heard my phone beep. I quickly grabbed it and opened it. She had responded. I felt my chest tighten as I opened her email.

'Hey.

I'm ok. Just still trying to get things back in order. That was so hard. I miss you. You were so much to me, but most of all you were my best friend. That's been really difficult. Can we be friends at least?

A'

I re-read it multiple times. She wanted to be friends at least. That hit home about me being her best friend. She was my only friend. I had to have her back, even it was just that. I quickly replied, telling her that yes, we could still be friends. I suggested that we use Kik messenger for texting, in the interests of safety. A short while later she messaged me on Kik.

'Hi,' she typed.

'Hey. You off today?'

'No, starting 7 straight.'

'I'm sorry.' I replied. I had typed 'baby' but deleted it. We needed to just be friends, I told myself.

'It's what has to be done. How have you been, work any better,' she asked.

'About the same, so so.'

'I'm sorry.'

'I'll live,' I typed.

'You better!!!!'

'Do you think we can do this, be friends,' I asked.

'I don't know, but we have to try. I've just missed this so much.'

'I know, me too.'

'It's been a long two weeks, Bryan.'

'Yes, it has.'

'I'm glad you're back,' she typed.

'Me too.'

We chatted the rest of the morning. She finally said around lunch time that she was going to try and nap before work. I wanted to keep talking, but I knew she needed some more rest.

'Good night,' I typed.

'Night, babe. I love you.'

'I love you too, Andrea.'

'Good.'

The next few days were more of the same. We texted every chance we had. Things began to feel somewhat normal again. One morning I'd got to the office early and we were texting as she finished up her shift.

'You busy this morning,' she typed.

'No, not too bad.'

'Can you get free for a little bit,' she asked.

'Yeah, I think so.'

'Good, meet me at the lake,' she said.

'Are you sure we should do that?'

'No, but I want to see you,' she replied.

'Okay.'

'Clocking out now. See you soon.'

I grabbed my truck keys and snuck out the back door of the office. I drove to the lake and had barely parked, when she pulled up next to me. She got out of her car and smiled. I felt my heart race, as she opened the door and got in. There was no hesitation as our lips met. The separation had thrown fuel on an already blazing fire between us. It felt so good to be holding her and kissing her again. After many minutes of kissing, we parted and looked at each other.

"How's that 'friends' thing working out right now," she asked, with a smile.

"Not very well," I agreed.

"Mmmm, I've missed that."

"Me too," I said as our lips and tongues met again. I kissed my way across her cheek to her neck. I planted soft kisses there, as she leaned her head back.

"Oooh, what you do to me," she said.

"What you do to me, too," I agreed.

"Let's not do that again," she said.

"No, baby. Let's not. I'm sorry, I just thought it was what we needed."

"I know you did, but obviously it wasn't."

"No, we can still be together baby. We just need to be careful."

"Yes, we do. It helps that no one is paying attention to us."

"That's the truth."

The next few months were as wonderful as the first five had been. We celebrated our first Christmas together with a morning of lovemaking at 'our' hotel. It had been amazing as always. I gave her the gift I picked out for her. It was a pretty necklace with a heart pendant. I had a lengthy debate about what to get and decided that I needed to be discreet. I knew that her husband and teenaged daughter were sure to notice anything too flashy. She loved it. She made a comment about how it was nicer than anything R had given her recently. Hearing that made me determined to always pick out something nice for her any chance I got.

We still enjoyed doing risky things despite our pact to be more careful. One morning in January 2014, I was working at the office, we were texting like usual. She was off for a couple days and relaxing. It had been a week or so since we'd been able to see one another and we were missing one another.

'He just left for work,' she typed.

'Another one of his grueling two-hour shifts,' I replied.

'No, he's working 6 whole hours today!!'

'Wow, he'll be exhausted," I replied.

'Probably. You should come over,' she said.

'To your house,' I asked.

'Mmmhmm,' she typed.

'You sure?'

'Very, we'll be fine.'

I looked at my phone. That seemed a bit risky, but I was dying to see her. I also wanted to make love to her in her bed.

'Well,' she asked. I sensed she was eager to experience that as well.

'I'm on my way,' I typed.

'Good!!!!'

I pulled up in front of her house. I was worried about parking my truck there, but from what she's told me, R didn't seem like the sort of guy that was chummy with the neighbors. I walked quickly to the front door. Just as I reached to knock, the door opened. When I walked in, she was naked and ready.

"Mmmm, look at you," I said, taking her in my arms. We kissed urgently as she led me down the hall to her bedroom. Her little schnauzer followed us, barking. I wondered what the little fella thought about me being there. I pushed her back on the bed and quickly knelt between her spread thighs. Her sex glistened with excitement. My tongue traced through the wetness of her folds seeking her clit. She purred when my tongue found it. I teased and licked her building her arousal. She was eager for more though.

"Get up here and fuck me baby," she cooed.

"Okay," I said. I rose to my feet and quickly stripped. I knelt between her thighs and she took my cock in her hand and guided me in.

"Oh, yeah, that's the stuff," she moaned. I began thrusting my cock in her as I looked in her eyes.

"I fucking love you," I groaned.

"I fucking love you, too," she replied.

The thought of me taking her right there in the bed she shared with him drove me crazy. I loved that. I was also very nervous, that we'd be caught. The combination of feelings had me so turned on, I knew I wasn't going to last long.

"Baby, I'm too turned on. You're going to make cum," I growled.

"Good, give it to me. Fill me up. I want it all!"

"Oh, Andrea, baby, it's good! Mmmm," I moaned as I felt myself orgasm. I knew she hadn't cum yet, so I slid down the bed and resumed my licking.

"Oh, that's good. Eat that pussy baby. Feels so fucking good!!"

She was excited and I worked her clit hard, the way she liked it. Her hips bucked up off the bed and she ground her sex against my face.

"Oh, that's it baby. Lick that clit!! Unngggg!!!" I kept my pressure up and I felt the tension in her release, as she orgasmed. "Oh, shit," she panted.

"Yeah, I fucking love doing that to you," I smiled.

"Mmmm, I know you do, get up here," she said.

We kissed and I watched her nose crinkle.

"Sorry, I needed you pretty bad baby. It's a little messy down there."

"I can feel that," she said. We kissed passionately while trying to fight off Gabe the schnauzer.

"I probably better go. That was fucking amazing," I said.

"Yes, it was. He's getting a real job soon," she said.

"Really?"

"Yeah, and working sort of normal hours. This might not be that last time this happens."

"I love the sound of that."

"Me too." She walked me to the door after I was dressed. We shared several more lingering kisses.

"Bye, baby," I said.

"Bye, my love."

The rest of the winter and early spring were much the same, filled with hot, passionate lovemaking at our hotel or at her house. I was dying to get her in my own bed, but the part of town I lived in was pretty out of the way. I kept thinking about it though.

One morning in April, she texted me, saying she was leaving work early. She suggested we meet at the hotel. I agreed and quickly booked a room. Unfortunately, our usual place was full so I got a room closer to downtown. I left my house and drove to the hotel. I walked upstairs, undressed and waited for my baby's arrival.

As usual, the moment I opened the door for her, she practically leapt into my arms. We kissed passionately and I worked to undress her. It was always cold in the hospital, so when she came to meet me after work, it was like breaking into a bank vault with her multiple layers. I soon had her standing there in just her panties and socks. I swiftly began sucking and licking her breasts.

"Mmmm, that's what I needed," she purred.

"Good, baby," I replied. I pulled her to the bed and dropped to my knees in front of her. Her striped cotton panties hit the floor and she laid back on the bed. Her bright multi-colored socks were next.

"I didn't plan this out very well, it might be a little fuzzy down there," she said.

"I don't mind," I said.

"And you should have let me wash up," she added.

"Huh uh," I said as my tongue took a long slow swipe through her wet lips. I loved how she was always practically dripping whenever she saw me. She had told me that most of the time with R she was always dry to the point of discomfort, even when they were just having normal sex. It turned me on knowing that I made her feel excitement like he never could.

"Mmmm, baby. I just love when you eat that pussy," she cooed.

"Good," I said quickly, barely interrupting my pleasuring of her. She was very turned on and she soon was fucking my face. That turned me on like nothing else. She grabbed my head and ground her pussy against my lips and tongue.

"Unnggh, that's so fucking good, Oh!!!" She leaned back on the bed, lightly petting my head as I kissed her outer labia and inner thighs gently.

"You're too good to me, you know that, right," she asked.

"No, I'm not. I'm just giving you what you deserve. I wish there was more I could do."

"You give me all you can without leaving her, and I don't think we want that."

"No, I don't really want us to have to go through that."

"Come up here," she said. "It's your turn." Her smile was devilish.

We made love off and on until about 10. She was reluctant to leave but I said I should probably get to the office. I'd already had two of my employees calling for help. I didn't realize that I should have listened to her reluctance and stayed put. After we took a quick shower, we dressed and walked out to our vehicles. I pulled to the exit and stopped to wait for oncoming traffic. I noticed a car that looked like my wife's. I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw that Andrea was right behind me. Then I looked back at the approaching car and realized it was my wife. Don't see me I thought to myself. My wife has never been the most observant person, but that day she was. She saw me and waved. I waved back as she drove by. My phone rang. It was my wife. I pulled out of the hotel and headed in the opposite direction as I answered.

"What are you doing there," my wife asked.

"Nothing, I was looking at a site down the street, and I forgot to get a picture of the electrical hookups. I pulled in there to turn around," I lied.

"Oh, you didn't tell me you were going to be downtown today," she said.

"Sorry, hon. It was just a spur of the moment thing," I said.

"Okay, I understand. Talk to you tonight. Love you."

"Yes, see you tonight. Love you too," I replied.

I'd just hung up the phone when it rang again. It was Andrea.

"Was that who I think it was," she asked.

"You're too goddamned right it was," I replied.

"Jesus, baby. What did she say?"

I quickly relayed the conversation to her.

"Fuck, we're going to get caught, baby," she said.

"I know baby, I feel like I'm about to have a heart attack," I said.

"Babe, just calm down. Don't get too worked up," she said.

"I'm trying, but I just worry about both of us if something happens. I'm not going to have you supporting R's lazy ass on alimony because we got caught having an affair," I said. I was practically in tears.

"I know baby, I don't want that either," she said, she was crying.

It had been another beautiful morning with the woman I loved, but I knew where it was headed. There was a long pause in our conversation. Finally, I couldn't take the silence any longer.

"What are you thinking baby," I asked.

"Nothing good," she sobbed.

"I know. Me either."

"We should stop baby," she said.

"I know but I hate that," I said.

"I'll always love you, Bryan," she sobbed.

"Me too baby, I'll always love you, too." I was losing control of my emotions, so I pulled over in a parking lot. She wasn't still following me, so I assumed she'd done the same thing. "Bye, baby. I'm going to miss you the rest of my life."

"Bye, me too," she cried. My phone clicked off.

-----------------------------------------

Andrea: I was afraid this time was different. Bryan was so freaked out about getting caught at the hotel like that. That was a close call. We both had so much to lose, but his relationship is more stable than mine. He needed to protect his family from this. My worst fear seemed to be coming true and he was really gone this time. One week passed and I haven't heard anything. Two weeks and he hasn't broken and texted me. Three weeks. I checked Craigslist thinking maybe he had messaged there in some weird way. Checked email, kik, messages. Nothing. I felt empty. Despite us having an amazing sex life together, he was my best friend. He knew everything about me. We shared and talked about everything. I really didn't have many "friends" that I can really talk to, he was it. And now I had lost that. My heart was utterly broken at the loss. I didn't know what to do. A month went by without hearing from him and I knew in my heart that it was over. I cried for days when I finally realized it. I tried to find things to replace him but there was nothing.

We'd been apart for over six weeks. I followed her as best as I could on Facebook and Instagram. I had missed her birthday and the one-year anniversary of us meeting. I thought I was doing better and that I was finally beginning to get over her finally. There were times like that night, the day after her birthday. The feelings came rushing back like a wave. I couldn't stand it any longer. I opened Kik and messaged her.

'Hey,' I typed. I waited and kept checking the app to see if she'd read it. Finally, she had.

'Hi,' she replied.

'How are you,' I asked.

'Okay. Just working.'

'I figured you might be.'

'Yeah, it's what I do.'

'I know honey.'

'So, why did you message me?'

'I'm sorry. I just miss you baby.'

'Ok. I've been talking to some other guys,' she typed. That hit me like a kick in the gut.

'Oh.'

'I want you back.'

'Ok. I'll think about it.'

'I'll be gone to Dallas for a few days. I was just getting ready for bed.'

'Ok. Stay in touch. Night.'

'Night, babe.'

Andrea: Of course. I convince myself to move on, believing it is over and then this jackass finally messages me. What the hell. I was angry at first. He put me through hell. I would have to give this some thought.

I know I was cold with him that night, but I was still dealing with all that had happened. He just messaged me like it was no big deal. I was mad at him for waiting so long to message me and I was mad that he kept coming in and going out of my life. I'd decided I had to have that connection again or at least something to fill the void in my life that this created. I wanted him back so badly, but once that month went by, I knew it was done. I'd returned to where I had met him and started looking again for a friend I could talk to. I secretly wished that he would find me if I looked there again. Most people I talked to were just after a booty call or were just plain weird. I was losing hope. What if I could never replace him or get him back? What would I do? I did not like this at all. Then one day, I met this guy, Steve. He was a chef just like my husband. That made me almost dismiss him immediately, but he was very persistent. He seemed fairly genuine and we had some great conversation. He finally asked if we could meet up just to see each other. I was hesitant because I still wasn't too sure if I could move on from Bryan, but I decided I needed to because he was clearly gone and no longer worried about me. I felt like meeting this new guy might help me move on so I finally agreed. He said he owned a restaurant and could meet me there after I got off work. I said OK and figured that was a nice neutral place to meet.