My approach to sex is to be more concerned that my partner has pleasure than I do. This has worked well for me over many years and even through our Lifestyle years. And it continues after forty years of marriage that has been so much fun.
That said l have an understanding that just sometimes a break from the mold is called for. My wife like most women is complicated and if your love is strong you can dive into the complex oddities of a woman's mind and therefore her soul. The effect on our relationship was fantastic and it has opened both of us to so much more.
With this in mind every once in a while the calendar lands on what l call Friday the Slut-teenth. The following is an example of one of those attempts that l hope is helpful to some and a worthwhile read to all.
l do my best to catch my wife unaware on those special days, and l try to make each one different. But after forty years that has become a task to pull off but it is still worth my time and effort.
Here is how the last one went. My wife is expecting me home soon and because l asked her to see if her mom would keep our kids overnight she is expecting something extra special. Later in the day l called home and back then that was by using a pay phone. So she has no idea it's me when she answers. "Hello"
"Hi Hun, l have some bad news. we are way behind at work and I'm in L.A. so the traffic home will be terrible. You know l had plans but l think it best if l work late and get ahead instead of wasting hours in traffic. Plus if l finish today l won't have to work tomorrow and maybe we can do something with the kids? I'm sorry Honey."
"Oh don't worry about it, and the kids will be thrilled. I'll go get them from my mom's then."
"No, don't do that. Why don't you fill the tub and open a bottle of wine? Just relax my love as nobody deserves it more than you. Now take the phone with you as l want to hear the water running before you hang up."
"Oh, don't be silly."
"No, l insist. Now go to it or you're in trouble."
"So how much trouble are we talking about, you know l like trouble sometimes."