So, there I was, stuck in the middle of France, broken down in the middle of nowhere, my hired Citroen giving up the ghost as steam bellowed from beneath the bonnet. Great, I thought, just great. It was 5 miles back to the town, and while not a bad walk on this glorious summer's morning surrounded by the picturesque French countryside, I was angry that I was going to miss my appointment with Eva in the next town of Toulouse.
Let me explain. I am an Irish property developer and I hunt down old and abandoned property in European countries for possible development and refurbishing. I have clients from all over the world who are interested in buying property in quiet, postcard-picture areas such as the gorgeous countryside of the South of France. I rely on my contacts to keep me informed when such properties come on the market, and Eva, one of my more reliable (and beautiful) business associates phoned me in my office in Dublin that a fantastic château had just appeared on the market. I flew to France the following day, hiring a brand new (ha!) Citroen and driving the 100 plus mile journey to Toulouse, before grinding to a halt on a country road surrounded by nothing but fir trees. I tried calling her on my cell phone, but couldn't get through. Either the signal was bad or she had her phone switched off.
I swore as I opened the bonnet, rushed by a cloud of smoke. That's not good, I coughed. Shutting the bonnet I locked the doors and began the journey towards the town, keeping an eye out in case I was lucky enough to get picked up by a car heading my way. After 15 minutes, and after only 6 cars sped by honking at me (so much for French hospitality) I had resigned myself to the knowledge that I was walking, and that Eva, unless she calls me, figured I wasn't coming. Beep beep!
Someone behind me slowed down, and as I turned round I saw it was someone on a blue moped, covered with stickers. Not just any someone, this someone was a young woman, an absolutely ravishing young woman. She was dressed like a character from a '60's French movie, not something one sees in modern day France. Wearing nothing but white, she wore a wide rimmed hat tied with a white bow beneath her chin. Her hair jet black, it seemed to flow in raven curls from beneath the rim. She wore a white belly top that revealed much of her flat tummy and held in place her two magnificent breasts that swelled beneath, white bra straps streaking across her shoulders. A matching white skirt did little to hide her long, tanned shapely legs, and on her naked feet she wore simple brown clogs. My God, she was incredible.
"Bonjour!" she called, halting her blue moped beside. "Ca va?"
"Non, Madame," I replied. "My car is knackered and I've got to get to Toulouse in a hurry."
"Can I offer you a lift? It's a long walk, you know!"
"Erm, sure, I would appreciate that, merci!"
"I have to stop off at my village before I head into Toulouse; I'll only be maybe 10 minutes, if that's ok with you?"
Hmmmmm ... now there's a pickle. Do I climb aboard and ride shotgun with a gorgeous, scantly clad French woman and add and extra 10 minutes late to my schedule, or continue walking in the vain hope of getting picked up by a non-too hospitable Frenchman?
I threw my leg over the back of the moped, not knowing were to put my hands at first, either gripping her slim waist or the side of the bike. I decided to play it safe and clutched the side of the moped.
"All set?" she inquired.
"Yup," I replied, and before I knew it she was revving along the empty country road.
* * *
As we drove we chatted, I telling her who I was and what I was doing here. She said I spoke French extremely well; I told her that along with French I spoke German, Spanish and some Japanese, for being in the line of work I was in it wasn't so much necessary as polite to talk with clients in their native tongue.
"I'm Lolo," she told me. "I bet you're wondering why I'm dressed like this?" "Funny you should say that," I said.
"I'm an actress, working on a commercial," she informed me.
"For what?" I asked.
"It's for apples, of all things," she answered.
I refrained from saying I'd love to get my hands on her apples, but added, "Ah. That explains it."
"Explains what?"
"You play the beautiful apple picker who's seduced by the handsome farmer!" She laughed. "It's not Porno, you know, but I can see where you might think that. It is very revealing, isn't it?"
"Looks okay to me, Lolo!" I croaked.
"We're filming in an orchard not far from where you broke down. I saw the abandoned car and thought I'd see a hitchhiker."
"I'm glad you came along." I told her.
"Me too ..." she said, looking behind her at me, smiling.
Suddenly we hit a pothole, the bike bouncing, I nearly tumbling off the back. "You ok?" she asked.
"Yeah, fine, shit, I thought we only had potholes in Dublin."
"And France too," she said. "Here, you better hold onto me, I wouldn't want you falling off."
I reached up and held onto her naked waist, not wanting to pinch her firm skin with my fingers, I trying to grip the top of her skirt. It was awkward, clumsy, I not knowing how to hold on until she said, "I won't bite, put your arms around me!"
Slowly I stretched my arms around her waist, my forearms resting next to her tummy. I eased my way closer to her, so that my front was brushing off her back, my groin off her ass.
"That's much better, isn't it?" she asked, and I had to admit that yes, it certainly was.
"Mmmmmm, you're so warm!" she cooed, and with her shiny raven hair blowing in my face, her enchanting perfume attacking my senses, I prayed I wouldn't embarrass myself behind her ...
* * *
We entered the small village by way of a steep hill, Lolo speeding through narrow streets waving at friends and beeping at others who wouldn't get out of her way fast enough. Presently we came to a halt outside a block of 4 storey apartments, I reluctantly letting go. She stepped off the moped, her short skirt briefly pressed between her legs. She adjusted herself before saying, "Coming up?" I was stumped for a second. Not everyday a gorgeous French chick invites me to her apartment, even if it was totally innocent.
"Unless you really have to be going?" she inquired.
"No, course not." I said. This was true, incidentally. Taking a glance at my watch it was clear I had missed Eva by at least 30 minutes.
"Bon!" she said, leading me into the building and up one flight of stairs to the second floor. There she bent down and took a key from the welcome mat before opening the door, calling, "Andre!"
Ah. A boyfriend. Innocent indeed. However, to my delight a cat came charging from somewhere in the apartment to greet his master, Lolo scooping him up in her arms. "Did you miss me?" Lolo asked, rubbing Andre on his head. The cat, nestling into Lolo's pillowing breasts and knowing just how damn lucky it was, purred contentedly.
"Close the door, will you?" Lolo told me, heading for the kitchen with Andre as I did as I was asked. The apartment was spacious, and very French. A large sofa lay in the room with a TV and VCR facing it. The walls were smothered with pictures; of family, friends, old lovers, promotion shots of Lolo in various guises and characters. There was a small dining table with two chairs next to the room's only window overlooking the street. A giant cheese plant sat in one corner, stretching its green leaves territorially.
"Can I get you something to drink; coffee, wine, beer?" Lolo asked me, popping her head from inside the kitchen, her hands busy with a can opener and a tin of cat food. She had discarded her hat, and her jet-black curls spiraled off her shoulders. "Beer, please." I replied, slipping off my jacket and taking a seat in the sofa. She came to me with two opened bottles of beer, sounds of the cat munching on its dinner distant in the kitchen. Lolo sat next to me, crossing her legs. "Salut!" We toasted the day by clicking the bottles; the beer was cold and fizzy. I nearly let out a loud belch, almost forgetting my manners. Lolo, however, had no such qualms and belched like a thirsty truck-driver. "Excusez moi!" she exclaimed, putting her hand to her chest, looking slightly embarrassed. Her face reddened and her eyes watered.