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"Really Jenn, you're ok with this? It feels pretty odd to me."
"I told you Mike, it's not cheating, it's helping out a friend. Plus I know that you'll be doing it, it's not like you're sneaking around behind my back or anything."
'But still, Jenn; I'd be having sex with someone else."
"It's not romantic love sex, it's artificial insemination."
"Um no, Jenn - it's insemination. The old fashioned way. And why does it have to be me, anyway?"
"Mike, we've been through this; She wants your sperm because you're tall, creative, intelligent and funny, and you were an athlete in college. Jeez, you're the only guy I know who would balk at the chance to sleep with someone else with his wife's permission. Does she gross you out or something?"
"No, I like her. It's just that we've known her for 15 years - since you guys were college roommates."
"Is it that she's a lesbian? Is that what bugs you about this?"
"C'mon Jenn, give me a little credit here. You know I don't really give a shit about anyone's orientation. It's just a label to me. I will say that I'm glad she didn't change her look as part of this transformation. She's been a looker for as long as I've known her. Being with a more butch version might not work so well for me."
"Jenn, listen - I just don't want to mess up what we have. She was your maid of honor for crying out loud!"
"That's why I'm not worried; I know her. Look. it's pretty simple; she wants a baby before she's too old and she thinks you'd make the perfect donor, and for the record, I agree."
"I still don't get why the old "jerk off in the doc's office" method isn't good enough for her."
"Don't be crude. You know what she said."
"Yeah, but I don't buy that "it works better if you do it "organically" theory. That sounds like one of those "my yoga teacher told me" science facts."
"Mike, what can I tell you? Can't you just please go take care of this. I promise there'll be a nice reward for you afterwards...." She gives me a sexy wink.
"Um, so you're going to reward me for having sex with your friend by having sex with me? Can't you just make me one of your trademark "meat lover's" lasagnas instead?"
Jenn playfully slaps my arm. "Tell you what; I'll be your whore for a night, AND make you the lasagna. How's that?"
As I drive over to Kerri's place, the irony of it all comes sweeping back into my mind. When I met Jenn and Kerri during our first year at college, it was actually Kerri that I had the hots for. Busty, curvy and a bit of a wild child. At the time however, she was hopping from guy to guy. I never actually had the chance to squeeze in there, and quite frankly - as a shy guy - I never got up the nerve.
But then suddenly Jenn transformed from the nerdy, skinny teenager-looking soccer-playing freshman into the gorgeous definitely-a-woman-now sophomore, and my lusting shifted to her. Even with that, I still kept an eye on Kerri and her crazy endless sex-ploits with an endless parade of guys.
And now she's a lesbian? I remember when she made that pronouncement to us. Who am I to question her or judge, but it did seem a bit of a coincidence that it would happen right after she went thru that nasty divorce from Matt. My understanding is that it really messed them up that they couldn't have kids together, I guess because of some issue he had.
So that's where I come in. I'm just a donor....period. We drew up legal documents that say just that. And the fact that Jenn and I have decided we don't want or plan on having kids makes it cool, I guess. I get to pass on my DNA but won't be responsible for raising the kid.
So I figure I'll just get in and "do the deed" and then hightail outta there. If she's a lesbian now, I have to assume that she'll consider a dick a necessary evil. I guess in this case it would be "wham-bam, you're welcome, ma'am."
There's a note on Kerri's door.
"Mike - let yourself in - Ker"
I knock and enter through the side door.
I announce myself "KNOCK KNOCK -- HEY IT'S ME"
I hear from the other room; "IN HERE"
I poke my head in the living room - no Kerri. And she wasn't in the kitchen.
"WHERE? WHERE ARE YOU?"
"OVER HERE, COME THROUGH THE BEDROOM...."
I enter the bedroom and.....lights turned down? Lit scented candles? Lo-fi beats on the speaker? But no Kerri.
"STILL CAN'T FIND YOU."
"You don't have to yell, silly I'm right here!"
She's waving to me from the master bathroom. From the oversized tub which is filled with bubbles. And there is low lighting and lit candles in there too.
I holler from the bedroom; "Oh shit, Kerri! I'm so sorry! I guess I got the wrong time! I'll come back later!"
"Mike, no! You got the time right. And why are we shouting across rooms? Come in here."
"Um, Kerri, why don't I let you finish your bath?"
"Geez Mike, relax; here, I poured you some champagne."
Champagne?
"Um- no thanks Kerri. Can we just take care of....um.....um"
"Mike, I insist!" I take the glass. I notice from the level in the bottle that she did some pre-gaming.
"Okay - out, out!" She wags her and at me, "Go hang in the living room while I prepare myself."
Prepare herself?
Not sure what there is to prepare, but whatever, I guess. Luckily she has a big screen tv and cable so I'm able to check in on the Bruins. Kinda hated to miss the game for this, but what are you gonna do?
Fifteen minutes later...
"Oh yoo-hoo!"
I look over towards the bedroom, and she's peeking her face around the partially closed door. Her freshly made-up face.
"Hey-ya big boy - come on over here, will ya?"
As I get closer, the door swings open.
"TA-DA!"
She does a pirouette, so that I can get the full effect."