I'm the last born son in my family. That meant that 3 others came and went before me. 3 others who apparently had "done it all." 3 others who actually, amusingly, exhausted my parents. It reached a point where, when it was my turn to be raised, my sister was my mom, my brothers were my dads. For the basics of life, of course. My parents handled the discipline in an off-hand, "remember what we did to your brother when he did this" way. I got off easier, and I bounced back before you knew it.
My siblings taught me everything. How to climb trees, ride my bike, play video games, and when I hit a certain age, how to get myself a woman. My brothers told me stories of glory and conquest, tales of walking into a room with "That" look in their eyes and the girl would melt. My sister lamented over men who swept her off her feet, let her feel like she was the most beautiful woman of them all. Between them, I received what some might call, a well rounded education.
By 9th grade, I'd had 3 girlfriends. By 11th, I'd had 13. I'd been called a heartbreaker, but truth be told, I'd let each girl think that she was the one breaking up with me, that she was no longer into me. I'd lose interest, (for lack of a better term) and slowly convince the girl that I was boring, too excitable, interested in things she wasn't, and in the end, I came away with a friend who felt slightly guilty for breaking up with ME. I had a system well worked out.
Being the last child also gave me some added privileges. I was the first and last of the children in our family to have a TV and a computer in my room. Which was the cause of a very particular problem.
5:12 p.m. I'm 18 years old, the summer before college. My parents are painting an ex-neighbors house in a different county, and the brother closest to me in age (3 years above me) is spending the night at his girlfriends. I have the house to myself, an internet connection, and hours to waste. I did what most men would do in the same situation. I looked at porn.
I started slowly, as I usually do, watching some softcore to pique my interest. From there, I would gradually raise the bar and go for more and more hardcore videos. I delay my gratification for as long as possible, hoping for a large payoff in the end. I suppose that delay helped me out a bit.
I was staring intently at the screen, watching a video with one of my favorite actresses, watching her get pounded from both ends. I didn't hear the car door. I didn't hear the doorbell, or the door open after it. I heard nothing walking up the steps and I heard nothing open my door. All I heard was the moans, the squeaks of the bed onscreen, and my own heartbeat. I reached down, almost unable to take the pressure and-
"What the hell are you watching?"
I spun around so fast that my headphones were ripped from my head. I breathed a sigh of relief. It was Amara, one of my closest friends from school. Nothing to worry about. She was as welcome as I was in my house. No problem.
Except that she just caught me watching porn. SHIT! I felt my heart drop again as I turned to press ALT+F4, clearing my main screen and I spun around again to face her, hoping nothing more was noticed. I swallowed, watching her, waiting for a response. She covered her mouth, holding back a laugh.
"You forgot one..." she choked out. I faced my computer again to find an online order for several sex toys I had been looking at. With a defeated sigh, I clicked the X and shut it down. I didn't even turn around this time to see Amara's expression.
She broke the awkward silence with another laugh. "If you're busy, Shaun, I can always come back."
"Shut up," I grumbled, adjusting myself as my ever resilient boner continued to salute my chin.
"No seriously, give me a call," she giggled. "But wash your hands first-"
"What do you want?" I burst out, turning on her. Her smile waned a little bit but she rolled her eyes.
"Why are you so freaked out?" She asked. "I know you watch porn. I know all of you guys do."
"Yeah, but..." I floundered for a second. "You didn't REALLY know."
She gave me a weird look. "What?"
"You've heard us joke about it, but you didn't REALLY know we do it." I looked down. "It was like a secret you hide in plain sight."