Katie zipped up her ridiculous plaid dress and looked at herself in the mirror. Every hair in place on the outside, just like every other year. Wound up tighter than a corkscrew on the inside, just like every other year. Two years into college and there was still no escape when she came home for the holidays. Next year, she vowed, she would find some excuse to be anywhere else on earth.
Maybe Matthew would save the day and not be home for the holidays. But that didn't seem likely.
Savoring her last minutes of freedom, she went to the window and puffed hard on the last of her joint and wished it would take hold already. When it was down to the nub and she was forced to crush it out, it still wasn't helping. Neither was the clinking of glasses and the ancient Ray Conniff albums that were already ringing out downstairs. Katie wished she'd thought to give her father some other Christmas albums, but then Mom would surely insist on her old favorites all the same. Tradition, after all.
Katie reached up to run her fingers through her raven curls, only to remember her hair was up in a tight arrangement that matched her nerves right now. Having nothing to do with her fingers left her even more frustrated. Maybe if she just stayed in here, they'd get the hint for once and leave her alone? Katie doubted it, but she sat down on her bed and picked up a favorite old paperback she'd found behind the bookcase the other day, and did her best to tune out the party.
Of course, it wasn't to be. "Kathleen!" Her mother's rap on the door left no doubt that she wouldn't be wiggling out of anything. Naturally she barged in before Katie could say a word, just like when Katie was little. "What are you doing hiding out in here?" she demanded.
"What's it look like, Mom? They're your and Dad's friends, not mine!"
"Oh, for heaven's sake, Kathleen! Are you nineteen or nine?"
"I feel about nine in this dress."
"Your Aunt Lily worked on it for weeks, and she's here tonight. You never have to wear it again, but I want you downstairs in that dress in five minutes, understood?"
"At least please tell me the Cummingses aren't coming."
"Oh, I should've known," Mom snapped. "Yes, they're here and yes, they brought Matt, and he probably doesn't want to see you any more than you want to see him -- I mean, do you need me to remind me how you treated him when you were kids?"
"Exactly, Mom, why should either of us --"
"Forget it, Kathleen, you're coming to the party and you will treat Matt like a human being for a change!" She turned to go, then spun back around. "And for heaven's sake, wear a bra!"
"I am wearing one!" Kathleen looked down. Her breasts looked fine to her.
"Then perhaps I need to take you shopping for a few new ones before you go back."
"For cryin' out loud, Mom!"
"I'll pay, if I don't hear any more whining out of you tonight!"
Katie admitted defeat and stood up. Bras weren't cheap, after all.
Any last hope she might slip into the crowd unnoticed was dashed when Aunt Lily spotted her. "Kathleen!" she exclaimed from across the living room, and she rushed through the throng of revellers. "That dress looks even better on you than I imagined!"
"Thank you, Aunt Lily," Kathleen said. "Perfect for the occasion, isn't it?"
"Let me introduce you to my date!" Aunt Lily said a little louder than she really needed to, Katie thought...or was the pot finally taking hold? "Douglas, this is my niece Kathleen."
"Pleasure, dear," said the regal looking older man in a tailored pinstripe suit. Katie couldn't fault her aunt's taste in men anyway. "I've heard so much about you, all true I see! Halfway through college, are you?"
"Almost." Katie spotted Matt out of the corner of her eye, and was grateful to have someone else to focus on.
"And ruining the curve for them all just like she did in high school!" Aunt Lily said. "Going to study in France next year, are you?"
"Thinking about it," Kathleen said. "We'll see how this term goes."
"Do you know the young man from Brown who's floating around here?" Douglas asked. "I'll bet the two of you could exchange some war stories."
"From Brown?" Katie asked. "No, I don't know anyone who goes to Brown. I guess I'll keep an eye out for him."
"He's a lovely young man," Aunt Lily said. After a quick look around the crowd, she said, "But I don't see him at the moment."
"Oh, I'm sure we'll cross paths," Katie said. "Thanks again for the dress, Aunt Lily."
"You're the second-best dressed woman in the room!" Douglas told her with a wink at Aunt Lily, who laughed and chucked him on the arm.
"Thanks." As they took their leave and Katie found herself alone in the clutch of barely-remembered relatives and family friends, she at least felt a bit less terrible about being stuck there. If she did stick out as much as they seemed to think, at least Matt ought to be able to keep his distance. And what of this gentleman from Brown? Kathleen had heard the usual vows from her friends to never date Ivy League men, but she had no such hang-ups herself.
Her smile was just a touch less forced as she mingled with the throng of guests by the Christmas tree. One middle-aged woman looked up in surprise as she stepped by. "Katie, is that you?"
"Yes..." Katie couldn't place her at all...and all at once, she could. "Lorraine, right?" Mom's cool friend from college, who Katie had heard was now married to another woman.
"Yes, it's me!" She took Katie in a surprise hug that felt surprisingly good. "And this is my wife, Olivia." She introduced Katie to a shorter, Asian woman who shook her hand. "I don't think I've seen you in five years! Where've you been hiding?"
"College," Katie said.
"Oh, of course you have!" Lorraine said with a laugh. "You lucky girl, I miss those days so!"
"What are you studying?" asked Olivia.
"Political science," Katie said. "Thinking about law school."
"You always did have that sensibility about you," Lorraine said. "Good for you. So, got a hot date for the party?"
Katie shook her head. "I'm not seeing anyone right now. There was one guy, but...he's gay. Should've known, I guess."
"There are worse ways to be, aren't there?" Lorraine quipped. "But you know, there's a wonderful young man from Brown around here somewhere."
"He even knows his feminist theory," Olivia said. "We just had a chat about Kate Millett. Whichever straight gal snaps him up is a lucky one."
"Yeah, I heard about him," Katie said. "But I haven't met him yet."
"I'd point him out to you, but I don't see him anywhere either," Lorraine said. "Maybe he went out to the kitchen? He said something about helping with the food."
"Happy hunting, Katie!" Olivia said. "And nice to meet you. Merry Christmas."
"To you as well." Katie stepped on past the Christmas tree and managed to avoid getting sucked into a klatch of Dad's officemates who looked like they were drinking too much. On the pretence of helping herself to a couple of Christmas cookies, as her munchies were in full swing, she scanned the room furtively for Matt. She spotted him by the stairs talking to Mrs. Kelly, but he had his back to her. With that bullet dodged, she looked around for the elusive guy from Brown. There weren't many guys her age in sight, but Lorraine had said something about the kitchen.
Telling herself she wasn't that boy crazy, Katie nevertheless helped herself to a peek into the kitchen. It was a welcome respite from Ray Conniff, anyway. But the room was empty except for Ramona, Mom's office manager, who was removing an hors d'oeuvre from the oven. "Kathleen, is that you?!" she said. "My God, you've grown up! How's college, dear? Your mother talks about you all the time! I'm so jealous of all you've got going on!" A quick gasp of breath before Katie could say anything, and she plowed ahead. "Have you met that wonderful young man from Brown yet, while you're here? You really ought to meet him! Such a gentleman!"
"So I keep hearing," Katie said. "I heard he might be in here, actually."
"He was," Ramona said. "Then your father came in and said he wanted to show him one of his guitars. Apparently he's quite a musician."
"Oh, okay," Katie said.
"You'd better hurry, dear," Ramona said. "A catch like him won't be single for long!"
So this mystery hunk was with her father? Katie stepped back into the living room and looked around. She didn't see Dad anywhere. Maybe they were in his study, where he kept his guitars? She did see Mom, which meant there was no chance of escaping back upstairs. Might as well try to track down the elusive Brown boy.
After once again taking a quick glance to make sure she wouldn't cross paths with Matt, Katie inched her way around the edge of the room, paying her respects to the neighbors as she went, and escaped to the relative freedom of the hallway. Sure enough, she could hear strumming from behind Dad's study door. Putting on her most flirtatious smile, she stepped inside.
"Oh, hi, Katie," said Dad, setting down the guitar he'd been tuning. Then, to her horror, Dad's guest stood up from the armchair and turned around.
"Matthew," Katie said. "Sorry, I was looking for someone else!"
"Darling, it's fine!" Dad said. "I was just showing Matthew my new Spanish guitar here. He's been taking classical guitar lessons at Brown."
"It's you?!"
"What do you mean it's me?" Matthew's smile looked forced, and Katie could hardly blame him.
"Why don't I give you kids a chance to catch up?" Dad said. "How long's it been since you've seen each other?"
Katie glared at her father -- she
knew
he'd heard her rant and rave about how she disliked him, but then she supposed he likely had guessed the truth behind all that. Either way, though...but she remembered to be polite. "That's really not necessary, Dad," she said.
"She's right," Matthew said. "I doubt she wants to listen to me fumble through Vivaldi here."
"Don't be silly," Dad said. "I ought to get back to your mother anyway, Katie, and I know you're not exactly enjoying yourself out there."
"Dad, really..."
