Here we are. Another boring football game. My husband, Jim, has had season tickets for years. And for years, our family and I have been going to these games. I personally don't care about the sport, but my husband and boys do. So I try and make the best of it. And by that, I mean drink. A lot.
So after a few seltzers, I couldn't hold it any longer, I had to pee so bad. Ever since I entered my mid forties, I have to pee a lot more often than I used to. And the seltzers don't help.
"I'm going to use the restroom." I said to Jim.
"Now? Why don't you wait till halftime and we'll all go?" Jim said.
"If I wait till halftime it will be super crowded. Remember, the women's room doesn't move as fast as it does for you men. I'll go now and if I'm lucky I'll beat the halftime crowed."
"Okay Dawn, I'll see you back at the seats." Jim said.
I got up and headed to the restrooms. The line for the women's room was long out of the doors, as usual.
"Oh you have got to be kidding me!" I said.
It's not even halftime yet and the line is already this long. I looked over at the men's room line and it was moving pretty fast. Guys were so lucky in that department. I watched as several guys went in and others came out. I even saw the same guy go in and out before I even moved in line. It was so frustrating and my urge to pee grew stronger.
"Fuck it." I said to myself. I left the line for the women's room and casually strolled into the men's room. Once inside there was a short line that was moving quickly. There were guys lined up behind each other for the urinals and others lined up for the stalls. The stall lines weren't moving as fast as the urinal lines.
It wasn't long before people started noticing me. Most smiled at me and some seemed surprised. I'm sure I'm not the first woman they have seen in a sporting event restroom. It wasn't long before most of the guys noticed I was there. As I waited for a stall to open up, I glanced at the line for the urinals. There was a man peeing but looking back directly at me. He was probably about 25 or so. I could tell by his stance and goofy smirk, that he was probably pretty drunk. After he was done peeing, he turned completely around before putting his penis away. I got a full glimpse of his member as he shoved it slowly back into his pants. I know he did it on purpose, but what could I say? I was in the men's room after all.
After he zipped up, I turned my head even though it was obvious that I saw his penis. I could tell he was walking over to me now. I began to get nervous, but it was a crowded room so I figured I would be okay.
"Like what you saw?" A voice said.
I knew it was him, but I acted surprised as I looked him, like I didn't know what he was talking about.
"Me? Oh I didn't see anything." I said.
"Oh come on, I saw you look right at it. You aren't a very good liar." He said.
At this point I just wanted him to leave me alone so I wouldn't miss a stall opening up so I could pee.
"Sure! It was incredible!" I said, in the most sarcastic way.
I began to get anxious. Not because of the drunken pervert talking to me, but because the line was not moving at all! I was about to pee my pants. I stood legs crossed and tried to hold it in.
"Oh hey honey, I was looking all over for you." A voice behind me said.
I turned around and there was a very large man behind me. He gave me a gentle wink. I knew now that he was saving from the drunken bozo that was talking to me. And when he saw the large man, who he thought was my husband, he quickly left.
"Thanks." I said to the man.
"C'mon." He said as he grabbed my hand. Before I even realized what he was doing, he lead me to the end stall. There was a guy coming out and about 5 or 6 people waiting for it.
"Sorry fellas, ladies first." He said as he opened the door for me. The guy in the front of the line didn't put up too much of a fight given the size of the man. And I didn't really care about being polite at this point because I was just relieved about getting to pee.
As I walked in I turned to close the door but he was still there. He came in with me and closed to door behind us. I didn't have much time to argue. So I pulled my pants down, hovered over the seat and peed the most reliving pee of my life. Halfway though I looked up at the man who was smiling at me. I rolled my eyes and finished peeing.
I reached for some toilet paper and looked up at him again. "Um, excuse me? A little privacy please?" I said.
He reluctantly obliged and turned his head while I wiped and pulled my pants up. I started to leave the stall when he interrupted.
"My turn." He said.
I wasn't sure what he was getting at. I assumed that he meant it was his turn to pee. I guess I could wait a few seconds since he was nice enough to cut the line for me.