It was a cool Autumn day at the Nimitz Road Flea Market, only 85 degrees with 70% humidity; don't you love living in the Southwest? I was shopping for the usual; comics books, weird magazines, you know, the flotsam of the bizarre. I was also hoping to hook up with Sheila. She was an older woman who ran Stall 137, and she had honored me by popping my cherry. Also, she let me help her win a bet concerning who gave the best blowjobs. All that being said, we weren't dating, she just sorta took from me what she wanted, and let it go at that. I had never even asked for sex, though I was going to today. However. . .
Closed. The door was pulled down shut, and no one was there.
"Yeah, she's not here so you're gonna have to get your dick sucked somewhere else, kid."
It was Gloria, the woman who lost the blowjob contest to Sheila. She was dressed in her usual She-Yuppie suit in a failed attempt to not look like the total asshole she was. Why do I call her an asshole? 1. The term bitch is overused and too diverse in interpretation, and she ain't shitty enough to be a 'Cunt'( If Hitler has a vagina, he'd be a cunt. . .well, fuck it, he's a cunt too.) 2. She is a mean person who is unkind to her faithful husband 3. She Blowballed two guys; that's when you promise a blowjob, start a blowjob and then refuse to finish the blowjob. That adds up to an asshole to me. She did have a decent set of tits though; I like to focus on the positive aspects about people.
"Well I sure as hell ain't coming to you.", I retorted.
Her face turned red in anger and embarrassment. "Like I'd touch your dick if it was the last dick on earth." Her eyes flicked down to my crotch. "And if you say anything about that to anyone, I'll sue your ass off!" She stormed off to her precious metals shop, leaving me shaking my head in wonderment and chagrin. The sound of laughter coming from behind me made me turn around. It was Valerie, a skinny girl my age who had tried to get me to help her piss off her Aunt and Uncle. She had her light brown hair feathered back in the front and loose across her freckled shoulders. Her blue jeans were so damn tight you could read her DNA sequence and her halter top was snuggled close to her B cup tits, making her the very picture of a white trash queen.
"That was fucking hilarious, John!" She giggled, her sexy lips flashed a huge smile. "God, I just cannot get to likin' that bitch." Most people at the Nimitz do not share my opinion about that word.
She gave me a friendly hug and told me she was finally going home to Oklahoma, and then apologized about not giving me the box of comics she had promised. I didn't mind and told her so, and we chatted for a while. I couldn't stop thinking about Gloria, and that there should be a way to kill the 'asshole' in her. I was young then, and thought people were capable of change. What got me thinking about it was Valerie's Aunt and Uncle, Bob and Charlene. Valerie still didn't know they were the biggest sex freaks in the whole Nimitz Road Flea Market and that they had wired their trailer with cameras and microphones in order to make and sell homemade pornography and to delight in their own voyeurism. I couldn't reveal their secret to Valerie, but maybe I could find a way to use their film making skills to cure Gloria of her meanness.
Bob and Charlene were in their double-wide on the Flea Market Employee area, where a bunch of folks kept their trailers. They smiled and invited me in, and let me talk out my thoughts concerning Gloria. They had filmed me fucking the Care Bear stuffing out of Valerie, and enjoyed watching it so much they gave me a free copy of the tape. They didn't have many people to talk to about their video hobby, as this was back in the dark ages before the internet, so they relished in the chance to safely share their fetish with others. After a hour or two of talking, and a few glasses of bourbon drinking, we had come up with a plan that was baroque, but possible.
On Monday afternoon we were ready. Well, I was ready. Bob and Charlene were always ready for nasty fun. With help from my theater pals I had altered my features with prosthetics and makeup, along with dyed hair that had a radical haircut. Add in a sharp Brooks Brothers suit, and I was unrecognizable as myself. I went to Bob and Charlene's and they got the plan into action. Ten minutes later, Gloria came into the trailer. As soon as she opened the door, I whipped out a realistic toy gun and aimed at her face, which produced a stifled scream.
"Are you Gloria Blathernutt?"
"y...y...yes." She whispered hoarsely.
"Then. . ." I holstered the gun. ". . . you can live." I pulled her all the way into the room and peeked out the doorway, pretending to make sure the coast was clear, and then shut and locked the thin trailer door.
"Bob and Charlene said someone was asking for me." She said nervously.