Funny how things work sometimes. The economy had slowed down so I was having significant issues drumming up business for furniture I make. It seems no one wants to pay $20,000 for a hand-made armoire. I was forced to close my storefront and find a cheaper place to move my shop.
After some searching I was beginning to lose heart. There was no commercial space I could still afford and after trying several residential spaces I found that not too many people were willing to give up their spare garage for such a noisy enterprise as a woodshop. The only bite I had was from a do-it-yourselfer who wanted access to my tools. Yeah, right, like I was going to let some hack build a spice rack on with my $9,000 table saw. But I was not about to give up. I had made a nice living working for myself and there was no way I was going to throw it away and go back to humping drywall for an hourly wage. I had to find a space, semper fidelis.
My luck finally turned better when I had dropped by my parents place one afternoon to bitch about my situation. My father told me that a new couple had moved in next door and that they had commented to him that they had no idea what to do with the extra garage the previous tenant had built. I immediately ran over and knocked on the door. The man who answered was a gentleman named Gerard who had recently retired. I explained to him that I was his neighbor's son and he invited me in for a beer.
"I understand you're looking to do something with you're extra garage," I mentioned to Gerard.
"Call me Gerry, son, and yes we are looking to do something with that garage. What'd you have in mind?"
"Well Gerry, I'm a cabinet maker and I'm having trouble finding affordable shop space," my new neighbor drew from his beer and sat back in his recliner. It was hard to judge his level of interest. "I was wondering if you'd be willing to rent your garage to me."
"Isn't a woodshop a little noisy for a residential neighborhood?" he asked.
"Well, there is a bit of a noise issue," damn, shut down again.
"Relax kid, I'm just funnin' ya," my host guffawed. "I couldn't give a rat's ass about the noise. I've been on the links every day since I shed the monkey suit. Come back tomorrow afternoon and talk it over with my wife, she's the only one here during the day and she'll have to deal with it. If she don't care, I don't care."
"Great! Thanks a million Gerry!" I pumped his hand up and down as he polished off his Budweiser and I left him in his living room. He was a bit obnoxious, but then you'd have to be to let a carpenter open shop in his backyard without concern for his neighbors. I only hoped his wife would be open to the idea.
I crashed at my parent's house that night and borrowed my father's razor to shave. I wanted to make a god impression, I just hoped she wouldn't be some crotchety old hag, or even worse, a lonely widow of the golf course who wouldn't let me get any work done. At eleven in the morning I walked over to the new neighbors house and knocked. When the door opened my jaw hit the floor.
Standing before me was a complete knockout in overalls and white cropped tee shirt. The straps that held the denim up only served to emphasize the fact that she had the best rack I'd ever seen. I was never the type of guy to go nuts over just anything with tits the size of my head, but presentation is important and these were practically served on a silver platter. The swelling of her breasts stretched the thin cotton of the cut off tee shirt to the breaking point and pressed against the denim suspenders to the point that they hiked the bib over her overalls almost up to her chin. The delicious curves spilled out the sides presented an image worthy of a pinup calendar. Realizing I was staring at her chest I willed myself to tear my gaze away and continued up to her face. I was not disappointed there. Thick, dark brown curls hung down to her chin and created a heart-stopping contrast to her soft alabaster complexion. Her eyes were a glittering clear gray, and the slightest hint of age showed around them. Could this possibly be the wife of the man I had met yesterday who so closely resembled Rodney Dangerfield?
"Hi, can help you?" Her disposition was exceedingly friendly considering there was a stranger at the door, but then again in a new neighborhood everyone is a stranger.
"Yeah, hi," I stammered. "I spoke to your" gulp "father yesterday about renting the garage out back?"
She laughed out loud. "My father? So you channel spirits? He's been dead for ten years. That was my husband." I had guessed wrong and was embarrassed. I couldn't believe this amazing woman was married to a retired man. What was more unbelievable was how he could leave her at home and play golf every day; this woman would have me wrapped around her finger. "Come in, can I get you a beer?" She was still chuckling.
I stepped through the doorway and she motioned me into her husband's recliner. "Sit down, get comfy. Gerry tells me you're a carpenter and needs some shop space."
"Yes Ma'am," was my sheepish reply.
"Oh knock it off with the Ma'am stuff. The name's Serena," she said with a bright smile as she handed me my beer and took the seat across from me. "What do you do?"
"Well I build furniture. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind renting the garage to me so I can keep the business going. You're husband told me I was better off asking you since you were the only one here during the day."
"You mean Prince Charming?" Another chuckle. "You mean he managed to think about my opinion?" Yikes. I really didn't want to get into any domestic disputes. I was trying to broker an important deal and didn't feel like getting on anyone's bad side. "Tell you what kid, you were nice enough to ask, go right ahead. Besides, it'll be nice to have a man around to lend a hand."
"Wow, really?" I was stunned. She said yes, and I was on my way. I was incredulous. "Really?" I was beaming.
"Yes," more laughter, "really. I'm glad I can help." I shook her hand and pretty much floated out to my truck. If I set out now, I could be set up in the garage and ready to rock by tomorrow morning.
The next day was bright and temperate. The perfect day to sling open the garage door and christen my new shop with its first piece. I hopped the fence and entered the shop through the side door. After flipping on the coffee maker I threw the door up and stretched out in the warm morning sun. Just as I had poured myself a mug of coffee I turned around to see my new landlord coming towards me with a tray in hand.
"Hey there!" She was beaming at me. "Great morning, eh? I came out to see if you wanted a little coffee, but I see you beat me to it."
"Thanks, I may want to double up." Coffee never hurts in a woodshop, as the more wits you have about you, the more fingers you're likely to keep. I was starting to shake off the cobwebs with my first cup, but my landlady seemed to be growing hers back. She was staring right over my shoulder and a smile was starting to break across her face like the dawn.
All of a sudden she snapped out of whatever trance she was in and looked at me with a satisfied smile. "I'm sorry, I just had a really happy thought."