I woke up with the dawn just barely brightening the bay, the sun casting a long shadow of the bungalow across the slowly undulating surface of the ocean. I shifted slightly and realized I was alone in the bed, but not for long. I saw movement in the growing morning light and watched Liz step to the side of the bed, drop the robe she had on and slip under the covers with me. She snuggled up against me, pressing her nude body to mine and moving me so she could lay her head on my chest and wrap my arm around her shoulders.
"What were you doing?" I asked sleepily, having not gotten all that much sleep over night due to our nocturnal activities.
"Watching you sleep," she whispered.
"Why?"
"Because you were so peaceful. It's the first time I've seen you sleep like that. Usually you're very restless all night."
"You've been watching me sleep?"
She chuckled softly in the incredibly sexy little laugh of hers. "Hard to sleep through you rolling around and thrashing. You talk in your sleep too; did you know that?"
"I didn't used to."
"You do now. Well, last night you didn't." I rolled toward her enough to face her and wrap both arms around her. I pulled her to me and I kissed her softly, which she returned with equally gentle, loving passion. "What was that for?" she whispered as I broke the long gentle kiss.
"Just because."
"Last night?"
"Yeah."
"It was good sex, but why was last night different? We've had sex lots of nights now."
"Because last night we didn't have sex."
"Yes we did."
"No, we didn't. Last night was the first time you and I made love. There was passion, there was gentleness, there was caring and love. Last night was much different than anything we'd done so far. It felt good."
"It did, didn't it?" she whispered with a smile. "I kinda felt like maybe there was some hope for me, for us. Just when I was starting to think about maybe I wasn't something you'd throw away, I went and did something stupid with Eddie. I thought maybe I'd crossed that line with you again. But you didn't shy away. You showed me that it bothered you, but you didn't shy away. You made me feel like there was some hope. I've never let myself be hopeful, well, not in a lot of years. I gave it up a long time ago. But yesterday, I could feel it stir in me. Is there? Hope for us I mean?"
"I'll admit. I was pretty put off by what you did with Eddie. I told you I wouldn't judge you until after this was all over, but for a while last night, I thought you were going to end up in the dumpster with Donna. But then, after the way you felt to me last night? I think there is, as long as we can avoid more Eddie's. I do have a question though. At the dance, you took off all your clothes. Why?"
"You didn't like it?"
"We're not talking about what I liked," I whispered. "I'm asking why you did it."
She thought for long seconds. "I took my top off to be playful. I wanted you to be able to see my tits. As I was dancing a saw a lot of guys enjoying the view. It made me all tingly inside, so I stopped fixing my dress, just to see what it felt like if it fell down accidently."
"And?"
"God it turned me on so much. I felt like everyone could see my pussy leaking down my legs as I danced up there. But the funny thing was, I wasn't really looking at them. I was looking at you. I wanted to turn you on and I wanted to walk over and have you take me, right there. Just bend me over one of the benches and take me right in front of everyone."
"Was it me? Or just because I was a guy?" I asked quietly.
"To be honest, it was just you I wanted in me. It was your cock I wanted to feel, your cum I wanted pumping into me. It turned me on to dance for those other guys, but it was you I wanted to touch me." I nodded quietly and kissed her nose. "Is it okay? That it turned me on dancing for them?"
"I told you. You do what feels good for you and we'll worry about what I think later."
"It is later, at least for me. Last night, I wanted you to, well, I wanted it to be alright with you. I wanted you to be as excited for me as being naked up there made me excited for you. I know now how much me having sex with other guys bothers you."
"As far as I'm concerned, we don't need to have sex with other people."
"No. I want you to feel like you can. Have sex with other women I mean. I don't want you to feel like just because I have feelings for you that all of a sudden you need to stop exploring. Hell, there are so many ways of having sex, so many places and methods and, well, you should be able to enjoy all of it."
"Why?"
She looked at me for a long time. I could see her eyes look away and then force herself to look back at mine. It was as if she didn't want to answer, but the longer I held her to me, the more she felt like she had to. "I've had sex with so many men. Almost all of them against my will. I was forced to do it, and I was forced to pretend I was enjoying it. After a while it was easier to just try and enjoy it than to pretend, so I did. I didn't get to choose who or when or even how most of the time, but I learned to enjoy it, in a way at least. It was just sex. I mean, it wasn't anything like when we're having sex. When I have sex with you, you care about how I feel, you care about making it good for me. They didn't. It was always me making it good for them. I don't want you to feel like I used to. I don't want you to feel like you
have
to make it good for me. Sometimes you should just have sex with someone because it might be fun and feel good for you, and I know, that any time we have sex, it'll be more about me, to you, than about you. If you have sex with someone that you aren't emotionally invested in, you can just let go and enjoy how it feels without worrying about how it feels for her."
"Like all those guys did to you?"
She shrugged a little. "Yeah, sorta."
I hugged her to me tightly for a few moments and then gave her a soft kiss. "I appreciate that you want me to be able to just have fun. But won't it hurt your feelings? Like it hurts mine to see you having sex with another guy?"
"Not really. Sex, it doesn't always have to be about making love. Sometimes it's just for fun, like playing a game. It hurts you for me to have sex with another guy because you can't separate the emotion from the act. To you, if he's having sex with me, there's an emotional attachment. I think it's kinda nice to have a guy care that much about me. I don't need to have sex with other guys. I've had my share of different guys, and to be honest, you do a really good job of keeping it interesting. So, you have sex with women you want to, just let me know if it becomes a problem where you get emotionally attached to someone else. I'm just starting to like feeling like maybe there's a light at the end of this tunnel and I don't want to get too focused on it if it's going to fall apart."
"And you expect it to?"
"Until last night? Yeah. Now? I'm beginning to wonder if maybe there is a chance. I like the idea. I like how it feels inside, looking at you, knowing that if I close my eyes, you'll still be there."
I kissed her again and then suggested we take a shower and go have breakfast. We didn't bother making love in the shower, for both of us cuddling and touching and washing each other was enough. I dressed in the tiny little bikini underwear she wanted me to wear, and a pair of shorts. She picked a t-shirt for me to wear and then dressed herself, wearing a pair of tight little micro shorts and a satin tank top. She didn't bother with either underwear or a bra, telling me that she wanted to tease me and she kinda liked the attention she got when she dressed like that. Since I'd told her to do what felt good to her, I couldn't exactly argue. I'd either get used to it or, well, worry about it later.
We went to have breakfast, and as expected Liz drew quite a bit of attention in her shirt, her dark areola slightly visible through the thin, cream-colored material, and after a few minutes the obviousness of her hardened nipples. It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize that she really enjoyed the attention. Nancy was never quite that way. She tended to be much more reserved, saving showing her special parts for me only. But given what a lot of women those days wore, I suspect a
lot