It just stood there. Not a care in the world. Shamelessly soliciting its' wares. 'For Sale' it screamed. So vulgar. Had it no decency? What a slut.
Grant stood beneath the sign. The description of standing may have been sympathetic. His legs gave the merest nod to the concept while his frame sought solace from gravity against the garden wall. A distant passer-by may have mistaken him for a man at peace, serenely taking in his surroundings, contented perhaps waiting for his betrothed to consider a new marital home.
A closer inspection would have reached a wholly different conclusion. His resting face gave all the evidence needed. It was fleeting, but it was there. Micro gestures, passing in an instant but repeating often enough. The closed eye lids twitched, soft cheeks winced, gentle lips formed a soundless snarl and then rested as if momentarily taken over by an invisible being. The signs of a man in pain.
"Oh you poor man. Can we help you?! Here let us sooth your brow. Let us ease your burden. But what is that smell? Your breath.....it has a faint tinge of......ah. Never mind. We'll just be leaving."
Of course. The Saturday Morning Hangover. The traditional state of the 30-something British male. The self-inflicted pain leading to the throbbing head and that inevitable sense of self-loathing formed by the realisation that there was no one to blame but himself.
That didn't prevent Grant from investing in some pretty intense resentment. A passing Volvo with a loose fan belt; a young mum with wailing baby; the distant squeal of a bus braking; a particularly self-righteous bird tweeting. And yes, even silent 'For Sale' signs. All received his passive hatred and the hope of a slow, painful afterlife.
The sign of course REALLY deserved it. The sign was the reason he had hauled his weakened frame out of bed at 8am on a Saturday, braving public transport (driving wasn't an option!), and was now being comforted by a cold garden wall rather than a warm goose down duvet.
"Mr Thorn?"
His painfully slow, alcohol dampened reactions were the only thing stopping him from jumping from his skin. The urge to rip down the advertising board and beat his attacker........well that passed pretty quickly. Instead he chose Plan B: He opened his eyes.
His move paid off.
"Abigail Knight, Mr Thorn. I think you are my 9 O'clock?"
Oh thank you universe; thank you alarm clocks; thank you 'For Sale' sign. All is forgiven.
Abigail was a picture. 20-something with milky skin; brunette, hair tied up with some break away strands brushing her cheek; a dark trouser suit with a crisp, feminine white shirt. A little shorter than him in her heals. She stood favouring one leg, the other kicked back just a little, file in one hand while nervously twirling her loose hair in the other.
"Mr Thorn?" She was almost imploring now.
"Yes. Grant Thorn", he found his voice. "Sorry you surprised me. I was thinking about something else".
He proffered his hand, part greeting and part reassurance that he wasn't completely unusual. She paused for the briefest instant before taking it, a smile brightening her face but more from relief than joy. Her hand was soft, her skin warm, and her touch gentle.
"Well let's go in, shall we?" she proposed. He held her gaze, not breaking contact as their hands also retained their hold. She had the deepest brown eyes. Had he ever really noticed eyes before? Most people had them, sure, but he felt like he'd always taken that for granted rather than really checking for himself. Until now. The distance between them seemed to be shrinking but they hadn't moved. Not a little bit.
The bird tweeted. It seemed deafening. God he hated that bird.
She pulled her hand away, a blush forming on her neck and cheek, visible against her perfect creamy skin. She shuffled her papers nervously, pulling out a set of keys that had been hidden in a small brown envelope. Wordlessly she turned down the path, the noise of the jangling keys both a distraction and a call to follow.
He followed.
Her back was as appealing as her front. Her rear shone brightly in his vision, wiggling in time to the jangle of the keys. Pert in what must have been a skin-tight pair of trouser-cum-leggings. She navigated the path delicately; her high heels pronouncing the shape of her legs.
He came up behind her at the front door. Just one step more than usual decorum would permit. As she worked the door locks he leaned forward, smelling her subtle scent.
She paused, sensing his presence. Carefully she turned the key in the final lock and pushed, stepping forward and pivoting to manoeuvre her back against the opening door. Standing side on to him in the doorway Grant could see the full flush of her face, her expression stern and accusing.