First Dates Suck

They'd been chatting for a few days now but not getting anywhere, for a sex dating site it was pretty sexless although she had perked up when he mentioned he was always UP for new adventures and he'd replied to her next question as "BIG". Then Mark mentioned something that got Jenn laughing as she stared at her PC pondering her reply.

'No I don't go all the way on the first date but I might on the second depending how the first goes but a second date isn't guaranteed without conditions.'

Mark didn't understand her reply but decided not to pursue it. He decided to give it one more go or leave it for good and look elsewhere. He thought he would get a fuck without having to go on a date. He hated first dates. Awkward and sexless.

'So Jenn do you fancy meeting up for a drink or something to eat?'

He waited for what seemed to be an age, the cursor hovering over delete contact when Jenn's replying IM popped up.

'Sure Mark I'd love to. How about Friday? The Dog Inn good on a Friday night if you fancy it?'

Mark smiled to himself. He knew The Dog had a bit of a reputation and so did most of the women that went in there so his chance of a second date seemed in the cards.

'Yeah that'll be great. Say around 7pm? How will I recognize you Jenn?'

Jenn smiled to herself and decided to tease him with a bit of a description of herself, highlighting the points she knew would have him wondering and wanting.

'Well I'm a red head but not ginger. I'm around 30 but that's all I'm saying. Curvy but not fat and have big tits! I have a pierced belly button too which you may or may not see. There's a couple of other things but you don't get to see them on the first date. I hope you dress well because I like to dress up for a date.'

As he read her description he felt his cock grow. She sounded horny as fuck. He'd always liked redheads and big tits, he'd been married to one for 10 years before the divorce and even though he was 20 years older than her she must have found he had certain qualities to accept a date. The one thing that played on his mind was the 'conditions' for a second date and possible fuck.

The thought left his head as his cock throbbed and he slipped his pants down to relieve the pressure building up. He was proud of his size, he'd never had complaints but it had been too long since someone other than himself had enjoyed it and helped him reach the euphoria and satisfaction he craved. He stroked himself before replying.

'WOW! You shouldn't be too difficult to spot. You sound gorgeous! Looking forward to meeting you Friday night. Mark'

Jenn read his final message smiling to herself as she gently rubbed her smooth pussy lips. She was naked except for her black stockings held in place by a broad black garter belt and several straps. Her 4" black stilettos were digging in to the carpet as she wondered if he was the one that would finally meet her 'condition' for a second date.

She'd had the fantasy for years but every date so far had refused. She thought about giving it up but the fantasy was too strong. It made her so horny just thinking about it and brought on her hardest orgasms which she was about to have as she slipped two fingers inside her wetness. She thought to herself as her orgasm ripped through her body, 'Are you the one Mark?'

Friday arrived and Mark dressed semi-formal. Pressed dark jeans, tight in the right places but comfortable. Brown brogues and a plain cotton shirt. He left a couple of buttons open showing off a few wisps of grey chest hair. His cologne was expensive and strong but not overpowering but would be noticed.

The taxi dropped him off out The Dog Inn around 6.30pm. He wanted to be early for two reasons. Dutch courage and to find a spot to view Jenn before she saw him, just in case. He walked in and over to the bar where he was greeted by the campest man ever, and forward with it. He was probably a few years young than Mark but similar in height and stature.

'Good evening gorgeous and what can I get you? Out on the pull are you? You've definitely CUM to the right place!' Mark looked and felt awkward by his candidness and campness and ordered a Peroni and a straight vodka.

'Actually I've got a date but I'm early and she's not arrived yet!' Mark replied sternly, showing he wasn't in to whatever he was. The barman minced off and got his drinks almost slamming them down on to the bar and took payment. Mark turned to find somewhere the stand and view the bar but heard the barman tell him something as he left.

'If your date sucks or should I say doesn't you just CUM and find me. I always do and swallow! My name's Dave! Remember what I said.' Mark held up his bottle in acknowledgement without turning and walked over to a quiet corner of the pub. He necked the vodka and sipped the beer waiting for Jenn to turn up but annoyingly he couldn't get the words the barman had said out of his head.

Just after 7pm he saw Jenn enter the pub, there was no mistaking it was her and she looked even hornier and fuckable than he had imagined. She was wearing a smart, tight fitting red dress, well above the knees that complimented her red hair. Matching 4" heels and black nylons.

As she walked in her breasts had a gentle bounce to them and he considered she meant not be wearing a bra. He found his cock getting eager to meet her. As she approached the bar he stepped out front his vantage point.

'Hi is it Jenn? I'm Mark.' A broad scarlet smiled drew across her pretty face and her big green eyes twinkled it the light.

'Yes! Hi Mark! Nice to meet you!' She held out her hand, painted red talons on each finger. He felt his cock stir again. This woman was hot, a temptress. He took her hand and gently shook it. Rather than dainty, her grip was strong. He throbbed again.

'Nice to meet you too Jenn! Can I get you a drink?' He smiled and noticed her giving him a quick and subtle once over before replying.

'Gin and Tonic please. You pick me a flavour, let's see what your taste is like. I'm just nipping to the loo.' Once again a big scarlet smile spread across her face and she disappeared off to the toilet. He watched her wiggle off, his cock growing in eagerness and frustration then headed for the bar where once again he was served camp and forward barman.

'My you're punching well above! She's far too nice to offer you anything tonight maybe any night but my offers still on the table. Looks like you might need it sooner rather than later big boy!' He maybe an obvious glance down to Mark's groin and gave him the international sign for a blowjob that Mark ignored and looked at the Gins on display.

'Give me a double blood orange gin and citrus tonic water please and another Peroni!' He turned his back on the barman, firstly so her could see if Jenn had returned and secondly to stop him from eyeing up his obvious bulge. The barman returned and Mark paid without speaking or looking him in the eye. This time the barman didn't comment knowing he wasn't game for his advances.

Mark wondered back in to the main area and noticed an empty booth with a view of the toilets and headed towards it. He could make his presence known when Jenn reappeared from the toilet. He adjusted himself so his cock was subtly obvious but not overly so. He wanted her to see the definition of his bulge to get a sense of how he felt, not his size, yet.

In the toilet Jenn had removed her panties. She had contemplated wearing them or not with her stockings and suspenders but after seeing Mark's large bulge she thought flashing her naked, smooth cunt at him might give her the edge and force Mark in to agreeing to her 'condition' she was so desperate for. She slid two fingers inside her cunt and rubbed her lips to give them a slight glisten.

He saw Jenn reappear from the toilet and he waved his hand to get her attention. She saw him and walked towards the quiet booth, the broad red smile broader than before. He watched her tits bounce and noticed her nipples slightly poking through her dress. They weren't like that when she'd gone in. His cock twitched again.

She sat down and shuffled up close and personal next to her date making the hem of her already short dress rise further. He noticed the black bands of her stocking top and clips of her suspenders. She left it a few seconds before adjusting it back then looked directly in to his eyes and to his surprise kissed him full on the lips making his cock throb uncontrollably. Slowly she drew back.

'Thank you! How did you know? Blood orange gin is my favourite, it matches my hair and temperament. A double too! Are you trying to get me pissed and get in my panties! Well that doesn't happen on a first date I told you, besides......' She refrained from finishing her sentence and giving away her secret for now.

'Tell me did "he" serve you? Offer you a blow job if I didn't? He says that to all the old men, well the good looking ones. I think he'd actually run a mile if you say yes especially with your big cock!' He felt her hand slide up his leg until it reached his throbbing cock and she gave it a hard squeeze.

'I know you said it was big but I just thought you were teasing but now I see you were just bragging!' She removed her hand and poured the tonic in to her gin and took a large mouthful. He couldn't believe how forward and forthright she was but he liked that and so did his cock. He smiled coyly at her taking a large gulp of beer.

'And just because I don't fuck on the first date doesn't mean I don't give out on the first date with a condition of course. I did mention a condition didn't I?' He nodded gazing in to her emerald eyes his once consciousness about his erection had gone.

'I wasn't bragging just stating a fact. I guess I'm blessed. So you must bring your first dates in her often if you know about the barman? So what is your condition for a second date I mean?' She watched as she moved back a little to give her room to cross her legs. She was so close he could hear the 'swish' of her stockings as they rubbed together and noticed a slight gap between her dress and thigh.

'Oh I'll tell you that later, when I feel ready to open up to you! So have you had many dates that fucked first night? You must have carrying that big thing around!' She glanced down again and smiled as she saw it twitch again.

'I won't lie, I've had a few but not just because of that. One or two just fancied me I guess! You're very forthcoming with your opinions!' He was intrigued by what she might come back with.

'Some women are fascinated by a big cock! Probably because they've never had one and want to know what it's like to be fucked by one! Some might just have a big dildo and want to try it for real and some are just sluts! They're probably the ones that offer you both options and I bet you try both! I bet they scream when you fuck their arse! Much tougher to take than they expected!' She took another drink as she winked at him.

'The sluts don't scream, the just beg for it harder!' She burst out laughing at his reply and held out her glass in a gesture of touché.

'So are you a natural prick tease or does has it taken time to perfect?' He took another swig and winked at her. She smiled.

'Oh I'm not a prick tease, well not purposely. I just say it as it is or how I see it. And I'm sure you don't mind my colourful language! Doesn't make me a bad person if I talk bluntly, does it?' She smiled sheepishly at him but simultaneously fluttered her eyelids while she uncrossed her legs very slowly. As she did she gave Mark a view of her naked, wet cunt.

'Well I guess your words don't make you a prick tease but flashing your cunt definitely does! Oh very nice cunt by the way!' Jenn burst out laughing again and grabbed his cock, rubbing it vigorously, making Mark swallow deeply.

'Sorry! I guess I am a prick tease, a fucking big prick tease but I'm guessing you don't mind that judging how fucking big and hard you are! Tell me has a woman ever managed to take it all and leave her lipstick on your balls?' She giggled as she finished off her gin.

'Well lots have tried but failed. Why do you think you could Jenn? Is that your condition? If you can take my full length you'll give me a second date?' He crossed his fingers mentally hoping it was and she could.

'Nice try but no. However it does involve me blowing you tonight. I do fancy sucking your big cock and see how much of it I can take. If you want a second date with me and maybe a fuck you'll have to do a little more than stand there while I suck you off!' He gulped down the last of his beer and waited for her to disclose her condition.

'Well I love to suck cock, deep and hard! I love to feel him cum in my mouth, filling it up but I want to share the pleasure with him. My condition is when you've cum in my mouth, we kiss and share your pleasure and we both swallow it. Are you still up for that second date Mark?' He felt the blood drain from himself. The thought of swallowing his own cum made him feel sick.

'Fucking hell Jenn that's a bit extreme! So that's your fantasy, your condition? I'm not sure. It doesn't really appeal to me.' He was panicking. It seemed like his date was over.

'Well your loss Mark! Who knows what I might have offered on a second date! Looks like you might have to get the barman to swallow your load tonight!' She shrugged her shoulders and looked resigned to leaving early. He smiled and an idea popped in to his head.

'Hang on Jenn. I said it doesn't appeal but I didn't say no. Our date doesn't need to end yet. Let me go get us another drink and give me a couple of minutes to think about it. After all you do have a beautiful cunt and ass I'd love to see more of! Deal?' He crossed his fingers harder in this mind and hoped she would agree while he came up with a solution.

'I really don't think you will but it's still early and if you're buying I won't say no! Same again please.' He smiled at Jenn and stood up. She noticed his cock had shrunk a little but still look bigger than most cocks she'd seen. He walked to the bar and hoped the barman who had served him before, served him again. To his relief he walked towards him.

'Triple blood orange gin and citrus tonic, Peroni and double vodka. One for yourself too! Oh I have a proposition for you if you're interested.' He saw the barman's eyes widen at what he had just heard.

'I'll get your drinks and you can propose to me!' Mark's head was awash with ideas and needed every second to finalize his plan but would he be up for it. He could only hope. As the barman returned with his drinks Mark told him to come closer.

'Right I find your offer disgusting but what if I was to offer you a mouth and belly full of my cum without sucking me off? I'm a big cummer and you can watch me cum! It's my only offer and I'll give you £25 on top of it. But you have to agree with my proposal or there's no deal.' The barman listened to Mark and then watched as he headed back to the booth, pushing the £25 in to his pocket. He set the drinks down on the table and sat down next to Jenn.

'Ok I'll do it but I have a condition. So if you want your fantasy to become reality you'll have to fulfil mine too!' His idea was risky but the rewards were worth it. He knew he'd get nothing if he said no and there was a chance if he tried. He poured the tonic in to Jenn's glass then downed the vodka as he waited for her reply.

'Tell me your fantasy and why! I'll make my decision then!' She picked up the glass and took a large gulp before realizing how strong it was. A warm feeling ran through her body and a slight fuzz went to her head, matching the fuzz she already had between her thighs. Mark began to tell his story that turned in to his fantasy.

'I'd just turned 18 when I was shipped off to my aunt and uncle's farm for the summer. They had twin daughters who were 21 and total sluts with lots of boys always hanging around the farm or in the barn away from their parents eyes. One day my aunt and uncle drove off from a day trip leaving myself, Kerry and Lisa, my cousins, alone. In the afternoon I saw the two girls and five boys head in to the barn and I decided to sneak over to see what they were up to. What I saw shocked me, turned me on and has stayed with me ever since.

The two girls were knelt down and blindfolded. The five boys stood in front of them stroking their cocks. Then the first walked up to Lisa and pushed his stiff cock in to her mouth. She began to suck him hard and deep for about a minute before he pulled out and stuffed it in Kerry's mouth who sucked just as vigorously. Then after a minute he moved back in line and Lisa spoke.

'I'd say it was John!' She giggled as she said it. Then Kerry spoke.

'No I think it was Kev!' After they'd both named a boy the next one walk up and they repeated the feat until all boys had been sucked.

The boys then announced Lisa got most right and the all crowded around her and began flogging their cocks hard until one by one shot their cum over Lisa. By the time they'd all spunked up Lisa's face was covered and she was lapping it up! I wanted to cum over her and Kerry too but never got the opportunity.' Mark downed the vodka and smiled at Jenn who seemed to have been aroused by his admission.

'So you want me to suck you off blindfolded?' Jenn smiled at him as she took another large gulp of gin, feeling the warmth spread through her body and it felt good.

'Yes! If that's ok with you? It would fulfil my fantasy at the same time.' He took a swig of beer and waited for her response knowing that the wrong answer would mean the date was practically over.

'So basically you want me to pretend that I don't know who you are as your huge cock abuses my mouth and throat? Pleasuring a stranger's cock wondering who he is. Taking my mysterious abusers load but then my fantasy kicks in and you kiss me taking your own load?' She smiled, uncrossed her legs again slowly ensuring he got a prolonged view of her sexy cunt. He watched and nodded.

'Ok you're on. Get me another drink first! I'm getting a buzz in my head and my cunt! Shame this isn't our second date!' He stood up, making sure Jenn got an eyeful of his stiff cock. She licked her lips.

'When I give you the signal come outside, around the back! She'll be gagging on me! When I cum in her mouth we swap places! Don't fuck it up!' The barman smiled at him and nodded his understanding. He took the drinks and went back to the booth where Jenn was smiling and giggling as he sat down.

'Judging by your big bulge I might struggle with you! I just hope your load is as big!' She laughed out loud taking the gin and having a good mouthful. He enjoyed the fact she knew he was big, she would struggle but he would make sure she'd never forget him even if there was not second date.

'Don't worry! I'll be gentle with you!' He lied knowing it would be brutal, deep and messy. He didn't care. She was blackmailing him but he would have the last laugh, hopefully. He'd paid for it after all. Soon she would pay for it.

'So we going outside or the toilet? What are you going to blindfold me with while you fuck my throat and dump your load in my mouth?' Jenn was quickly getting a little drunk which meant switching should be easier.

'Well I thought you'd be wearing panties but obviously not! Maybe a stocking? Outside! I love being sucked off in the open air!' He finished his beer prompting her too finish her own quickly.

'Oh I was wearing panties! I took them off though when I caught my first glimpse of you stiffening cock! I do really like to prick tease and I know I'm good at it. Anyway I have a thing for 'big panties' so they should work!' She downed the rest of her gin, slowly and tentative getting to her feet. In his experience he found pissed sluts suck cock the best, all inhibitions where gone or lost.

'Please lead the way!' Jenn took his arm and he gave the barman the single. He saw him acknowledge his signal and hoped he would keep his end of the deals. A few minutes later and some wobbling and teetering in her heels they reached the far end of the beer garden, a tree laden area out of sight of most prying eye. Just one pair of eyes would watch. Jenn had her back to a tree, panties in hand while Mark stood in front of her, eager if not slightly frustrated by how long it was taking.