This isn't normal, I kept saying to myself. I had repeated the words over and over in my mind the last two hours, on my way to the hotel.
But then, nothing about our 'relationship' had been normal. We had met, a lonely night a few years back in a chat room. I was staying at my parents' house in the Southern US for the holidays, and she was at her house back in Canada.
We started a flirting friendship then, never taking it to the next level. We had only even talked once on the phone, briefly. Opportunities would present themselves and nothing would happen. So, for years, we just kept at that distance.
Of course, things changed slightly when they could afford to least. I had reunited with a friend from the past (one I was head over heels for at the age of 19), and this time, I got the girl.
She had found a bolt of lightning while vacationing in Europe. They 'talked' multiple times a day and she was planning to leave her life on this side of the Atlantic for a life with him.
For some reason, flirting with us had intensified. Of course it did, we were both committed to someone else, both very deeply committed, so why wouldn't it?
All of which found me heading towards a downtown Toronto hotel.
She was working as a rep for a travel company, and as such she would have to give seminars in various locations throughout the province. It took her from being two hours away to being in the same area code with me. Yet, nothing still happened.
We were fed up. She was leaving in a month forever, and I was ready to pop the question to my girlfriend. She mentioned that she was working with her replacement at a travel convention downtown and was staying at this hotel. I was, coincidentally, having a meeting at that same hotel the next day.
I was off the day before my big meeting and since my girlfriend was away at school, I didn't really have any explanations to make. Once we figured it all out, we decided to meet for a late breakfast at the restaurant in the hotel. Maybe we'd do some shopping as we finally met, then have a leisurely dinner.
Something changed in me on the walk from the subway to the hotel.
I saw her, sitting at the bar sipping an orange juice. Slim, blonde, pretty. The kind of pretty that people gravitate to. Bubbly and fun without being over-the-top. She saw me and waved, and it was then that I decided to fulfill something I had written months before.
I had sent her a story that I posted on Literotica, about us meeting and not saying a word, just taking each other like animals over and over and never regretting or thinking about it.
We had both joked about it in the days leading up to our meeting, but we always reverted to what our 'actual' plans would be. I changed all that.
She smiled sweetly, a smile that some Spaniard would enjoy for the rest of his life. There was a pang of envy, but I ignored it. I smiled back. She handed me a menu.
"Come with me," I said. "We're going to your room."