It was a dark and stormy night.
Well, not really. It was still early in the evening and while the sky was overcast it was still quite light. There was a definite threat of rain in the air, but it didn't look as though it would be too bad. I'd been out for a run, just getting some exercise in after being housebound all day, doing some research on the 'net.
I was on my way home, just trotting past the unit next to mine, when I heard this scream from the unit. It was a real scream, too. Not just someone mucking around. Someone had just been hurt.
Now the unit next door was currently being rented by a single mother with two small daughters. Lovely little kids they are, images of their mother. I know them and their mother, albeit only on a friendly chat basis. There was no man in the picture as far as I knew but Debra's sister, Janelle, was currently staying with them.
I had seen Janelle driving away as I left on my run, and her car wasn't back. There were no strange cars around, either. In my opinion, something was wrong and it wouldn't hurt to check up. The worst that could happen was that I'd embarrass myself.
So I switched direction and jogged up to the door. The wire door was closed but the main door was open and I could see inside. See well enough to notice that Debra was lying on the floor up towards the end of the hallway. She didn't answer so I went in. (She really should keep the wire door locked if the main door is open.)
Debra was out cold. Fainted, I think, with the reason being a leg that had a bend where it shouldn't have a bend. A chair on its side suggested what had happened. Still, not wanting any nasty surprises I did a quick check of the house even while I was calling the ambulance.
I found the two kids asleep in their beds, but apart from them and Debra the place was empty, so it seemed it was just a simple accident. Since my first aid is pathetic and there was no obvious bleeding, I just left Debra where she was and waited for the ambulance.
Debra was just starting to come to when the ambulance rolled up. The ambo's pounced on her, diagnosed a broken leg, tossed her on a stretcher and carted her away. Debra, protesting strongly, pointing out she had two little girls in the house.
"You also have a broken leg," I pointed out in return, "and I don't see any doctors around. Do you? Don't worry about the kids. I'll watch them until your sister gets back. Give me her number and I'll give her a call and tell her to shift her butt back here."
The ambulance departed with its trophy and I rang Janelle's number. I could hear it ringing. Unfortunately, I could really hear it ringing. I traced the sound and found a mobile shrieking its little lungs out in the spare bedroom. I sighed and hung up and the mobile went silent. Tried again and sure enough, the mobile started laughing at me. Janelle had forgotten her damned phone.
I hung around, watching TV, hoping that Janelle would come home at a reasonable hour. I should be so lucky. Come eleven o'clock I said the hell with it, took off my shoes and tracksuit top and went to bed in Debra's bed, after leaving a note prominently placed asking Janelle to wake me when she got home.
I was awakened about two hours later. Not by Janelle, but by a bloody great crack of thunder. It was absolutely pissing down outside, and I could swear the house was shaking slightly from the thunder. I also thought I heard something making a noise in the house and I listened hard, hoping Janelle was back.
What I heard was another crack of thunder, screams and the pitter-patter of rapidly moving feet. The next moment the bedroom door burst open and two wailing little girls were hurtling through the air and into the bed, clinging like limpets and shrieking.
I reached over and switched on the lights, and had a very interesting half hour calming down two scared little girls, who didn't like the storm, wanted to know where mummy was and why was I in mummy's bed.
I persuaded them the storm wouldn't hurt them because I was there to look after them. Mummy had hurt her leg and had to go and see the doctor. I was in mummy's bed because I wanted to go to sleep. Wouldn't going to sleep be a good idea?
No, apparently.
I assured them that I wasn't going anywhere until Auntie Janelle got home to take care of them. It was late, I explained, and they were tired and they really wanted to go back to their beds so they could sleep.
I almost convinced them. I know it would have convinced me. I was just preparing to gather them up and carry them back to bed when there was another peal of thunder. Thank you, Mother Nature. That was brilliantly timed. It was limpet time again, and those two kids weren't going anywhere, thank you very much.
I know when I'm on a loser. I turned off the lights and lay back down with a moppet curled in a ball on either side of me. They dropped off to sleep quite happily and I tried to. It's hard to get a good night's sleep when you're the ball between two football players. I'd be dozing off when a foot would land in my ribs. I'd sleepily edge away from it and be greeted by another foot kicking at my teeth from the other side. Those blasted kids didn't lie in the bed and sleep. They rotated in the bed, fast asleep.
I woke a couple of hours later in considerable pain. There was a hand entangled in my hair, pulling hard, and a voice shrieking in my ear. Not a little hand and a little voice, unfortunately, but the much stronger hand and much louder voice of Janelle.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing with my nieces, you pervert?"
Don't expect thanks for a good deed. You won't get them. I batted her hand away from my hair and politely replied.
"If you wake those kids I'll damn-well strangle you. But not until you calm them down and get them back to sleep. What the hell does it look like I'm doing with a couple of three year olds? Keeping them safe until Auntie comes waltzing home to look after them. What the hell time is this to be arriving home?"
"What business is it of yours when I get home," she snapped. "Why are you in Debbie's bed, why are the kids in Debbie's bed, and where is Debbie?"
"In sequence, because I was tired and had to sleep somewhere, they're scared of thunder and needed company, in hospital. Any other questions?"
She was smart. She glommed onto the hospital right away.
"What do you mean, she's in the hospital?"
"Do you want to play twenty questions or would you prefer for me to explain in a calm and rational manner, simply enough so that even you can understand it? And don't yell. You'll wake the girls."
"Oh, explain, please," she said, ever so sweetly. "I can't wait to hear your story."
"Debra fell off a chair and broke her leg. I think she was trying to change a light bulb. I heard her call out and came to her assistance. I called an ambulance and promised I'd stay with the kids until you got home. Which would have been hours ago if you'd remembered to take your phone. Then the storm broke and the next thing I know I'm up to my neck in screaming little girls who don't like thunder. Big and mean though I am, I didn't have the heart to drag them back to their beds and leave them there, scared and crying. Maybe you can do it."
Janelle stood quietly for a moment while she digested that
"I guess I should thank you," she finally said. "Anyway, the main storm has passed over and I don't think there'll be any more thunder. I'll see if I can transfer the girls back to their own beds now."
She very carefully picked up one little moppet who promptly snuggled happily against her and carried her out. A few minutes later she returned for the other, and that transaction went off quietly as well.
The next time she came back was to kick me out into the cold wet night, which wasn't unexpected.
I was out of the bed and peering out the window when she returned.
"Ah, the main thunderstorm has gone past hasn't it," I asked a little nervously.
"Yes. Is poor little diddums afraid of thunderstorms," she cooed.
"That's typical," I said, sounding a little irritated. "So what if I don't like thunderstorms."
