Fear

He wants me to be in control tonight. Why does this always make me so nervous? It's not like I've never been with a man before, but every man is different and responds differently to touch. What if he doesn't like the way I touch him? God, what if I turn him off instead of turning him on? I can't imagine the embarrassment.

Of course, I want to touch him. I want to run my hands up and down his shaft, gently, slowly at first, then harder and faster as his breathing gets heavier. I've heard that a man's nipples are actually sensitive. What if I lick and bite them, and he thinks I'm just being weird? Kissing is easy, anyone can do that, but finding those erogenous zones is quite a bit trickier, and I'm not sure I'm up for the task. I want to pleasure him, make him moan, make him shake, but I'm scared. I fear failure. I fear rejection. I fear tremendous humiliation when I stumble or stutter or falter.

It's so much easier to just let him be in charge, but then I feel guilty because I'm not doing my share. I need to show him how much I care about him, how attracted I am to him, how much I want to please him, but fear is consuming me.

Slowly, cautiously, I lower my lips to his chest while my hands caress his arms and back. It's hard to find a nipple in the mass of hair on his chest, so for a while I'm just kissing randomness. Where is it? This is exactly why I'm scared of attempting new things. I just don't know what I'm doing, and he's going to realize that and not want me anymore. Wait, there, oh thank goodness.

Mmm, he seems to like that. Cool. The kissing seems to satisfy him, but what about a little tongue? I begin to slowly swirl my tongue around his nipple, gently, carefully, barely touching the tip. I blow a little cool air onto the nipple, and he gives a quick gasp. Oh, that was effective! Maybe I have more of a clue than I thought. Enough playing, though, he deserves action.

I clamp my lips firmly around his nipple and nibble slightly on the tip. His back arches in response – always a good sign. I continue to nibble this one as my left hand searches desperately for the other. Can I do two things at once? It's hard to focus on the task at hand when I want to please him as much as possible. I find his other nibble and begin to rub and tweak it while continuing to suck, lick, and bite the other. This takes a lot of work, especially considering how turned on it's making me. My mind is racing – should I continue this act or do I move on? Does he want more? What is he expecting? What if I don't go far enough? What if I go too far? I don't want to do anything he's not ready for. He wants more, I'm sure of it, and he deserves more.

I let a hand wander downward. I'm not sure what I'm expecting to find, but it's not this. A small gasp escapes my lips – he's so hard, so huge. Did I really create that much anticipation in him? In the excitement of the moment, I grip his cock with some force and begin to slowly rub up and down. He whispers in my ear that he prefers a gentle touch. Shit – I knew I'd screw this up somehow. Hurting him is exactly what I didn't want to do.

I relax my grip a bit but continue the gentle stroking. He does seem to like that. My fingers wander to what I know are the more sensitive spots – the tip, the corona. I remember that the balls are supposed to be very sensitive. I graze my fingernails against his shaft as I trail down to his balls. Ever so softly I run my fingernails over the sac, through the hairs, caressing, smoothing, tickling. He moans approvingly and I feel his body arch with delight. At least I'm finally doing something right.

My other hand finds his cock again and I feel to the tip to see what kind of effect I'm having on him. Ooo, a little precum. Very nice. I begin to rub this into the head of his dick for a bit of lubrication. His breathing is getting much heavier now as his penis continues to grow. Mmm, I like the effect I'm having on him.

I brave a stronger grip, and he doesn't object this time. His hips begin to jerk while his head tips backward. His breathing becomes moans of approval. I think he might have said YES a few times as well. He asks me to go faster, so I oblige. Harder, faster, more, more, yes, oh, he likes this so much. I can't stop now and I don't want to. He's going to cum soon, and I don't know what to do with it when he does. I really want to just clamp my lips around his big dick and suck all of the juice from him. I'd like nothing more than to feel his warm cum erupt in my mouth and trickle down to my stomach, but I think it's too soon. There will be time for that, and I need to have patience. But, he's going to release soon, and I don't want to make a mess of his room. I could be incredibly kinky and let him jizz all over my body. I think I might like that, feeling the warmth envelop my large breasts and stomach. Yes, that will have to do for tonight.

I roll to my back and guide him over me. He can't handle much more as I continue to pump his long cock. He lets out one loud, guttural groan and covers me with his juice. I continue to pump, extracting as much as I can, and he continues to flow. More and more squirts onto my body, and I begin to rub it into my breasts with my free hand. I should be letting him know how much I'm enjoying giving him pleasure, but my mind can't focus on so many things at once.

I believe I've done my job, but I don't want to stop yet. My fingertips wander back to his balls to tickle for just a little longer. Instantly, his back arcs, and his body jerks while he moans deeply at the attack. It's as if I'm torturing him – a torture that he loves but can barely handle. I know I've never had this kind of an effect on a man before, and I love seeing him squirm at my slightest touch. I'll have to remember this one for next time. He can't take anymore and begs me to stop, so I comply.

We're both spent, he in the climax that drenched me, me in the joy of pleasing him. As we rest in each others arms I begin to wonder if I'll ever get over my fear of pleasuring him. I hope so. I love doing it, but I'm always afraid of doing something wrong. Maybe it's silly; it probably is. I suppose my confidence will grow with a bit more practice, and I have a feeling he won't object to that...