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My head felt thick, like maybe someone had stuffed it with cotton then wrapped a tight strap around the middle. It was uncomfortable, but it didn't quite qualify as painful. Also, it was dark--pitch black, actually--and for some reason my eyelids wouldn't open no matter how hard I strained.
More awake now, I realized that there really was something tied tightly around my head, which is the reason why I couldn't open my eyes. I tried to bring my hand to my face, to pry it off, but I couldn't. Something had my wrist, both wrists actually, holding them in place over my head. Panicked now, I tried to sit up. My ankles were also secured. I felt something soft--my bed--under my hips, but I was effectively immobile, restrained spread eagle.
"Cathy!" I yelled. "Cathy, are you okay? Cathy, where are you!?!" I called frantically.
Try as I might, I couldn't remember how I got like this. I thrashed and pulled at my bonds, but they were hard, unyielding. The bed, a solid wood four poster monstrosity that Cathy had picked up at an estate sale years ago, barely moved despite the fact that I weighed over 200 pounds and was in decent shape. A cool hand covered my mouth.
"Calm down, sweetie, it's alright," I heard my wife's lilting voice sing into my ear. "If you keep it up, the neighbors will talk."
I fell back against the bed, chest heaving. "Cathy, what's going on?"
She chuckled. "Nothing, honey. Why do you ask?"
I flexed my arm, pulling against whatever was holding my wrist. "I'm not sure, but I don't think I went to sleep pinned to the bedposts."
"Oh those," she giggled. "Happy Father's Day," she called, her voice trailing away.
Where was she going? I strained to listen, heard her footsteps leave the room. Cabinets opened and closed, drawers slammed shut, and by the time she returned I'd managed to slow my breathing, but I wasn't exactly calm.
"Honey, where are the kids?" I asked, my voice shaking.