Farmer's Daughter

1 – The Set-up

Joke or horror movie? You decide.

The characters, situations and actions in this story are merely figments of an unusual imagination. So unusual, in fact, that the author doesn't actually exist.

NC<18 – No characters under the age of 18 are depicted in this story. Seriously. Keep reading.

This is a copyrighted original work of erotic fiction. All rights reserved.

Have you ever found yourself in a ball of confusion, trying to decide whether you were either in the middle of a joke or stuck in a horror movie?

You probably won't believe this, but I'm a traveling salesman. No, not the old door-to-door salesman for brushes, vacuum cleaners, magazines or encyclopedias.

I actually sell specialty medical products. That requires traveling to every clinic in my district on a regular basis, and I've got a regular route that I follow in the process so I can spend each night in my "regular" motels.

I only had one more stop to make this hot summer afternoon and was tooling down the two-lane country back-road short-cut listening to the country tunes on the radio when my car started slowing down. It seemed like the harder I pressed the accelerator, the slower I was going.

Turned off the air conditioner.

Looked around and saw what I had been seeing for the last half-hour or so - corn.

Rolled down all the windows for some ventilation. That only let in even hotter air.

Miles and miles of nothing but corn.

Turned off the radio, hoping the car would run better.

Oh look, a break in the monotony – a field of corn!

Took off tie & undid the top three buttons of my shirt.

Unlocked my cell phone and, of COURSE, there's no signal. Just what I need.

After another 20 minutes (a whopping three and a half miles down the road) my grateful eyes spied a break in the corn and a farmhouse appeared on the right side of the road. I quickly turned into the driveway hoping I could find a land-line to call someone to pick up the car and give me a ride to a rental car dealership.

I let the car spit, sputter and chug to a stop under the shade of huge tree in the front yard, got out and slammed the door in frustration.

Looked around as I walked over to the stairs, then up them onto the porch and knocked on the screen door. The inside door was open, so I waited for a bit then knocked a little more loudly. Still no answer, so I shaded my eyes, looking inside into the darkened interior of the house and called out, "Hello? Anybody there?" Nobody knows why people shade their eyes when trying to look inside a dark room when they call out like that, but everybody does. Like if someone was there and didn't want to answer you they wouldn't have thought to duck behind something.

Still no answer, so I went back to the car, reached inside and popped the hood, then walked around the front, pulled it the rest of the way up and propped it open. No clue what the heck I was looking for, but hey, I'm a guy. It's what we do in this situation, right? Maybe there'll be a big glowing arrow pointing to something saying "Problem here!" I started at the front, wiggling things around. Maybe if something's loose, I can find a way to tighten it and then it'll work all right.

I had worked my way around to the passenger side of the car and was leaning over under the hood when someone said, "Whatcha doin', mister?" And yeah, I smacked my head on the underside of the hood when I tried to stand up.

When I was able to quit scrunching my eyes shut in pain I turned around and found myself looking down at the stereotypical country girl. She might have stood five feet tall (maybe), had freckles, a cute little upturned nose and had her auburn hair pulled up in pigtails. Red and white checked shirt, tied up under her breasts. Denim cut-off short-shorts. And, yeah. Barefoot.

"My car broke down. Are your mom or dad home?"

She smiled up at me and said, "No mister. I'm here all alone in this big old house right now. Can I help you?" You know the country-girl drawl she had.

"Do you have a phone I can use?"

She reached out, grabbed my hand and said, "Sure, mister. Follow me!" Then she started skipping toward the door, tugging me behind her.

When we got inside, she dragged me over to the phone, let go of my hand and said, Here ya go, mister. Want something to drink? We got some lemonade in the 'fridge. Or I can make ya some iced tea if ya'd like?"

"Iced tea would be fine, thanks."

I sat down at the little table, unlocked my cell phone again and looked up the number to the dealership I had my lease through. I started talking to the service manager there trying to figure out how to get a tow truck out here (once I made sure I knew where here was), when they could get here, where it would be taken, and whether I could get a rental car wherever there was?

Somewhere in the middle of that conversation the girl brought me a tall glass and said, "Here's ya'll's ice tea, mister."

As hot as I was, I drained the glass except for the ice in just a couple of long gulps. She goggled up at me, giggled and said, "Geez, mister! Ya'll sure are thirsty. Want another one?"

I held the glass out to her and shook it a little so the ice jingled. "Please."

She skipped off into the kitchen and returned with a fresh drink. I drank this one more slowly. Something tasted...off...about it, but I couldn't figure out what it was. A couple of "I'll call you back"s and return calls later that glass was gone, too.

I finally found out they wouldn't be able to get a tow truck out this far until the following morning.

That's when I laughed out loud. The girl looked up at me and said, "Whatcha laughing at, mister?"

"You wouldn't understand, but I think I just realized I'm stuck in the middle of joke."

She looked at me kind of blankly, like she didn't understand what I was talking about.

"See, there's this story about the traveling salesman whose car breaks down..."

She was still staring at me blankly.

"Never mind."

"Want something to eat, mister? I think we got some fried chicken in the 'fridge."

I had been thinking I was going to go sit in my car and wait until her parents came home, but the idea of something to eat sounded good, too.

She gave me a funny smile and said, "Come on in the kitchen and get ya some, mister."

I said, "OK," but as I stood up to follow her into the kitchen I suddenly felt dizzy. The room started to spin and I stumbled forward a little, only to find she had stopped and I bumped into her.

"Geez, mister. Are you okay?" She looked up over her shoulder at me and I realized she had very pretty blue eyes.

That was the first thing I noticed. The second thing I noticed was that I could see down the front of that checkered shirt and saw a really nice set of tits!

Whoa, boy!!

I thought.

She looks like she's not only too young to be your daughter, she looks damn near young enough to be your GRAND-daughter.

"Sorry about that." I said out loud. "Just got a little dizzy for a second there."

She smiled up at me, giggled again and said, "Probably too much iced tea too quickly, mister."

That's how long it took me to notice the third thing. She had somehow gotten her right arm between us just before I ran into her.

Probably trying to keep me back,

I thought.

But if she was trying to keep me back, how did she get her hand turned around? 'Cuz I am pretty damn sure she's cupping my balls through my slacks. Shit!! She is!!

And I jerked myself backward away from her.

I bounced off the side of the door frame behind me and started to fall when she lunged forward, grabbed me by the arm and swung me around until I landed in a chair. I hit with such force that it started to go over backward. I leaned forward, but was only able to make it balance precariously. She jumped on my knees and the front two legs slammed to the floor.

SHIT!!

Somehow, when she had swung me around the knot holding her shirt together had come loose and I was looking at the cutest, most gravity-defying tits I had ever seen – in real life, in a magazine or on a computer. Slightly crinkled areolas and perky damn nipples.

Stop it!! Get your eyes off her!! Fuck!! What's going to happen if her mom and dad come home and see us like this?

I grabbed her by the upper arms and tried to push her away, but only succeeded in making the chair start to tilt backward again.

She pushed herself back then, but not to get off, just to get her weight farther out on my knees to get the chair legs back on the floor.

"You feel okay, mister?"

"I... I'm not sure. Feel a little dizzy. And I'm sweating like a pig. Confused."

"Hell, mister, that ain't a surprise! It's gotta be a hundred and ten outside, and you just absolutely slammed that first Long Island Iced Tea! But you really only guzzled the second one!"

"What? Long Island Iced Tea? Where would a little girl like you have heard about that? And where would you have gotten it? That's not funny!"

She giggled at me from my lap, which did simply amazing things to those tits, let me tell you. "Mister, I ain't little, see!" And she cupped those breasts and leaned forward with them like she thought maybe I couldn't see so well. I reached up and bumped her arms to the side as I re-grasped her upper arms and tried to push her away, but her weight kept her in place.

"Now, if you promise to not try to stand up, I wanna try something I been thinking about since I saw you pull up in the yard."

I nodded and she leaned forward and kissed me.

My brain started running around in circles inside my skull as it tried to figure out how to get out of this situation before someone found us like this, but at the same time thinking

how soft, and warm, and wet, and delicious those lips were. And why the hell am I trying to get away from those lips? I could die with those lips on mine. DIE?! SHIT!! FUCK!!

I jerked and the chair started to fall again.

And I realized those lips had left mine and were now howling out laughter. "Oh! Mister!! You should see the look on your face right now!"

Wait, that wasn't the same voice! What the fuck?

I looked at her and where what had seemed like a teenager had sat a few short seconds ago now sat a full-grown woman. At least, as "full-grown" as a woman could be at a little over five feet tall.

But the look in her eyes was NOT that of a barely-pubescent inquisitive, mischievous teenager. That was the look of a lust-filled woman who had her mind set on one thing and one thing only.

"Uuummmm..." I stammered as I was trying to form a coherent thought, let alone words.

"Mister, I'm sorry, but when I saw you pull up in the yard, I thought of the same joke you did. That's why it took so long for me to get down here. I had to get this outfit on and my hair put up. By the time I got downstairs you had already gone out to the car. I really didn't mean to startle you like that, but that sure was funny. I almost lost it right then! My name's Betty by the way."

"You live here?"

"Yup. Daddy died of a heart attack a little over a year ago and mom, well, they'd been together for quite a while and she just lost herself a little each day. She basically died of a broken heart."

"So you live here all alone?"

"Oh, no!" and she giggled. And those perky tits bounced around some more again. Not quite so "cutely" this time, but almost as if they were beckoning me. "I was in my last year of college (

HUH??

) when daddy died and was back here in time to spend some time with mom before she passed.

"Somewhere along there, the stress got to be a bit much for me and I called a classmate from college to see if they could come help and stay for a while. We both majored in farm management. I went heavy on the crop science side and Bobby Joe went a little heavier on the animal side. After a while, the loneliness of being out here got to be a little much one hot night and Bobby Joe and I became lovers.

"Bobby Joe is gonna like you, though. See, it turns out we're both bi-sexual and we've not really had the chance to get a partner that wasn't from the local area. That's why, when I saw you pull into the yard, I had to at least try to get you into bed – either before Bobby Joe gets back or after."

She leaned in and began kissing me again with those delicious lips. I still had my hands on her upper arms and as we kissed, our bodies twisted from side to side as we moved our heads about to try new things.

I I'm not sure which one of us opened our mouths first, but it went from lips to mouths to tongues in a haze of passion so thick you could probably have seen it.

That's the haze I had to look through when I heard the back screen door slam and heard, "What the FUCK is going on in here?"

What I saw through the haze was the silhouette of someone at least six feet tall, if not a little taller with a ball cap and sunglasses on. In the split-second I had to look, all I saw was bare shoulders, bib overalls and boots. And not much daylight seeped around the figure standing in that doorway.

See how quickly a joke can change to a horror movie? I swear I could plainly hear the sound of violins (fiddles?) scratching eerily over the strings, like a soundtrack hinting at what was about to happen.

Betty jumped off me and began to try to explain, "Bobby Joe, now don't you go gettin' all riled up. This here gent had a bit of car trouble and needed to use the phone. I offered him a drink and, well, we had that pitcher of Long Island Iced Teas in the 'fridge and I gave him a big old glass. He had two and got dizzy. I was just explaining how things were around here and getting around to mentioning you when you came in. I didn't expect you so soon!"

Bobby Joe glided swiftly across the floor while saying, "You are in some trouble now, Betty!!" as Betty was lifted bodily off the floor.

I couldn't let this happen. It was at least partially my fault. I had to do something,

so I lunged up off the chair to break it up! Unfortunately, I had forgotten about the Ice Teas and my lunge turned into a lurch. I tripped as I was reaching out and, as I fell, my right hand slid down bare skin and denim before I crashed to the floor.

Bobby Joe put Betty down on the edge of the table, leaned in until they were face-to-face and growled, "You wait right there!"

I tried to decide whether to close my eyes or try to glare defiantly (goggle blearily?) before I got my ass kicked. I was still trying to decide when Bobby Joe squatted down next to me and said in a low tenor voice, "Well what do we have here?"

Between the drinks and the sunlight through the windows it was hard to see, but when Bobby Joe took off the ball cap, waves of blond hair fell down.

GREAT!! Going to get my ass handed to me by a dude with a mullet.

When the sunglasses came off revealing a pair of smiling green eyes, my brain froze.

Remember when I asked about being in a joke or a horror movie? Forget that.

Have you ever heard something and made conclusions based on assumptions? You know what happens when you "assume" don't you. This time I was the only one that was an ass.

Turns out "Bobby Joe" was actually "Bobbi Jo". At least that's what I figured out about the time she and Betty finally stopped laughing

Of course, by that time I had adrenaline flooding through me and it quickly took me from anxiety to anger.

"Ha-fucking-ha, girls! Must be locational humor. You know, where it's funny where you are, but it sure as FUCK isn't funny over here!? I don't need this shit!" and I walked out of the kitchen, through the living room, out the front door, climbed in my car and slammed the door.

I could see their silhouettes through the screen door, arms waving, fingers pointing, heads bobbing and I could faintly hear their faint raised voices. I rested my head on the headrest and closed my eyes.

After a bit I heard the screen door open and then close. Opening my eyes I saw them climbing down off the porch, holding hands as they walked toward the car.

Reflex made me grab the keys and try to start the car. By the time it dawned on me it wasn't going to start they were already standing next to my window. And of course I looked like a buffoon poking repeatedly at the window button trying to get it to work.

"C'mon inside mister," Betty said. "I'm sorry I tricked you and Bobbi Jo's sorry she reacted the way she did. See, she didn't expect to find a stranger in the house and with me on your lap, my shirt undone and us moving around, it looked to her like I was trying to get away and you were holding me there to prevent it.

"It's not much cooler in the house, but it's better than sitting in that oven of a car, even with the windows down. And there's no way you can spend the night in there – you won't be able to walk in the morning."

They looked so strange standing there – well, Betty was standing. Bobbi Jo was either squatting or kneeling on one knee next to her to look in the window.

"So whad'ya say. Mister? Want to come back inside?"

"Nah. I'm good," I muttered.

Dude!! Come on. Try not to sound like a pouting child.

"Are you sure? 'Cuz what I said earlier was the truth. We're both bi-sexual and looking for some fun. And hey, I'm really sorry about the misunderstanding. See, I know Bobbi Jo is a girl and it didn't occur to me you were thinking she was a guy. It wasn't intentional. But seriously, we'd like to make it up to you."

"No thanks!"

Shit! Sounded like a petulant little kid again.

"Aw, c'mon," she said. "Are you sure you don't want to? Think of what you might be missing if you stay out here."

"Nope."

Shit! Still?

"Well, if you aren't coming to come in, maybe we'll just do it right here." That cute fake teenage voice crept in. "How would ya like to see that, mister?"

"Would it change ya'lls mind if I did this?" She stepped behind the still-kneeling Bobbi Jo and slipped her hands inside the front flap of those bib overalls. Pushing down the knit tube-top, her hands began to caress Bobbi Jo's breasts. I couldn't see exactly what she was doing, but experience was filling in the blanks based on the way her forearms those overalls were moving.

Bobbi Jo's head relaxed back against Betty's chest the way Betty's had rested back on mine a little while ago. Betty continued to work her small hands across Bobbi Jo's chest until Bobbi Jo reached up and pulled Betty's face down to hers and they began to kiss. I shifted uncomfortably to try to free my cock from its cramped position.

In that position, Betty began to slide her right hand farther down inside those overalls until she lost her balance and almost fell.

"On your feet, ya big sasquatch bitch!" she giggled.

Once Bobbi Jo was standing, Betty reached over and undid the shoulder strap from the right side of the overalls and let that side flap open to expose Bobbi Jo's breast. Then she undid the side buttons on that side as well before sliding her right hand inside and toward Bobbi Jo's crotch. "Spread' em," she growled in what had to have been the cutest little growl in the world.

Bobby Jo spread her legs and Betty began to work her arm and hand back down the front of those overalls. But her hand wasn't the only thing working. She had begun to lick and suck on Bobby Jo's exposed nipple. She didn't have to bend over very far to do it either.

It didn't take long and Bobbi Jo was moaning and bucking her hips against Betty's hand.

"We're going inside, mister. You can stay out here and be hot on your own or you can come inside and get hot with us. That's entirely up to you." She grabbed Bobbi Jo's hand, pulled her to her feet and they walked toward the house holding hands.