To the reader: This series of stories is an experiment, an attempt to put in writing a game that I play with my lover. I tell her stories in bed, whisper to her, about the things that we could do, if we were the type of people to actually do them. Things like threesomes and bondage and public sex. Dangerous things, erotic things, impossible things. I set the situation, tell her the story, and we use it to fire our imaginations and enflame our desires. We believe that great sex is 90% mental. And so, in sharing these stories, I hope they work the same way for you.
SETTING THE STAGE. WHO WE ARE. WHY WE'RE HERE.
I believe that both of us, you and I, are not sure whether to take this thing we have together to the next level. We are both married, with children, and not so naΓ―ve as to think that our individual spouses would so easily forgive any indiscretions we may commit with each other. And we treasure our marriages. I would not ask you to divorce your husband to marry me, nor would I expect you to do the same. The dangers of our getting together, under the sheets, making love, are immediate and brutal. We could, with one act, destroy two families, hurt our spouses deeply, and throw our children's lives into chaos. We are not naΓ―ve, you and I. We are fully cognizant of the dangerous waters in which we swim.
And yet... And yet we are drawn together, in a way that's hard to describe. It's as if there's an inexorable force binding us together. As if we're in two orbits, unable to pull away, yet unable to meet up, for fear of a catastrophic, yet intensely fulfilling collision. We have a history, you and I. Not just in the years we've known each other in this world, but in the metaphysical one as well. We've both had the dreams, of being together in past lives, of being a couple defined by passion and intellect and undying love. How can two people have exactly the same dream, if there is not a connection that defies rational explanation? Our friends would laugh at the idea. Our acquaintances would mock. And our spouses would wonder. The binding is there. Else why would our paths cross again and again?
We have stood on the precipice a long, long while. Balanced ourselves between friendship and true intimacy. Heightened the anticipation. Measured with trepidation the long, awful fall that could result. Wondered whether, in jumping forward, we would be giving up a long-lasting friendship. To many people, we are already shameful, cheating adulterers. We have shared intimate details. Stolen kisses here and there. Made plans, pretended to be single, run away for afternoon excursions.
Yet never have we shared of each other in the way of lovers.
Never have I felt you tremble under my touch.
Never have I felt the beat of your heart against mine.
Though it consumes us, it may never be. But what may be, may be this...
THE STORY I WHISPER TO HER:
It's a Tuesday. A Tuesday like any other Tuesday. I pick you up for lunch at your office and we speak of work things as I drive. As we pass our usual restaurant, you seem surprised, but only just a little. I've done that before. Our drive takes us past the outskirts of town, past the point where anyone might know us. When I pull into the business hotel parking lot, you're about to protest, or ask a question. But I've anticipated that. "Relax," I say. "I have a plan. And it's not what you think at all."
Somehow, for some reason, you trust me. Perhaps it's because you know that I live by the rule that No means No. So you'll always have that to fall back on. But I can tell that your curiosity has been piqued.
We enter the hotel through the back. No need to walk you past the front desk. The room card is in my pocket. I have a speech prepared in case you refuse to go into the room. But maybe you're wondering to see how far I'll go. Or maybe you're happy to see that I'm finally taking charge. Or maybe you just don't know what to do. Whatever the case, you step inside.