It's the end of the month and once again the emails pop into my inbox, trailer check, trailer check, trailer check. Meh!
I consider saying no this time but I'm short of cash and I know if I don't do them this month I won't get offered any next month and so reluctantly I agree to cover the usual bunch. A few hours later another email comes through asking if I could also cover my local independent as the regular auditor is on holiday, now this one interests me because I'm friends with a few of the staff and so I get to sit in the projectionists booth and watch the whole film.
I reply back that it will be a bit of a stretch within the time limits and ask if I can do the midday showing for this particular film rather than waiting for the evening. The answer is yes and I start planning...
The first thing I do is to text you. I know you're not working the next day as we'd planned to meet up for a few hours. You um and err for a bit about the change of plans, but once I tell you what I'm thinking you change your mind. I tell you to dress up reasonably smartly and meet me outside the cinema at 11.30....
The next morning I wander into town around 10ish. The sun is shining brightly and it's warm enough that I don't need a coat. I'm dressed in a short, blue summer dress, with a white cardigan and white strappy sandals. I'm surprised that everyone else seems to still be bundled up in their winter coats and jeans but people are strange.
I complete a few other jobs in town but I'm finished by 10.30 and sit on the beach while I wait for you, enjoying the feeling of the sun on my legs. At 11.00 you text me to say you've just arrived at the station and I wander up to meet you halfway, eventually spotting you looking a little lost by HSBC.
As we approach the cinema I tell you to speak as little as possible and just go along with whatever I say. You nod and smile, I've told you the first part of my plan but not in any great detail. Nevertheless what you've heard sounds promising...
We walk into the foyer and I immediately spot the manager behind the bar. She smiles and says "That time of month again huh?" and I tell her unfortunately so, before introducing her to you and explaining you've never done one of these visits before so I'm showing you the ropes today. As I expected she instantly suggests we watch from the projectionists booth as it's your first time and I wink at you behind her back as she leads us through the door marked 'private' and up the stairs to the booth.
As she taps the code into the keypad to unlock the door her mobile rings. I smile again, this is going exactly as I planned. She ushers us in before answering the call and you can hear her say "well what time will you get here?" before the door shuts behind us.
The room is quite small and dark, to the left you can see some old heritage projectors, the ones they use when they're playing old films from tape reels. In front of you is a large, modern, digital projector, with a touch screen displaying lines of indecipherable words. To the right of the projector is a large, comfy looking armchair, and in front of that is the open window into the auditorium.
I can see you're curious so I tell you to have a look around but to be quiet and absolutely not to touch anything. You step over to the window as I start scrolling down the screen, translating the abbreviated adverts into English and writing them on my audit form.
I'm about halfway through when the manager comes back in looking a little stressed. "The projectionist is stuck in traffic and won't be here until later," she says with a sigh. "Men eh?"
I smile and agree that they're all pretty useless creatures, then ask what she wants me to do.
She looks down at my sheet and says, "Well I know you probably have other cinemas to do after this, but is there any chance you could hang on for a few minutes and start the film for me after the trailers? You know what to do don't you, and I'd do it myself but the other projectionist has a day off today so I have to run the reels in screen 2..."
"That's fine," I reply, "And no rush, the next cinema isn't until 7 tonight."
"Oh well in that case, why not stay up here and watch the whole film, you're doing me a favour and it'll be a treat for your trainee," she suggests.
"That would be fab," I answer with a smile and you agree, thanking her. She tells us it's no trouble and points to the clock on the wall, telling me I need to run the ads at dead on 12 or the auditor will mark her down. She winks at me as she says this an opens the door, saying "Enjoy!" to you as she leaves.
The door slams shut behind her and you look at me suspiciously.