Celsi looked at the clock. An hour left: time too much! She flopped onto her bed, and tried not to think of her lie; of her secret. Celsi was going to a party. It had been tough enough to get her parents to allow that, but when they had learned that it was an all-girls slumber party - quite the contrary of the expected reaction - they'd seemed even more fervant that she not go.
It had been her sister who had been instrumental in the plot. Honey knew exactly what Celsi was up to, and only wanted the best for her. Since the beginning of her menstrual cycle when she had been 10, the only person in whom Celsi felt she could confide had been her sibling. It was quite strange, actually, considering Honey's physical nature.
"What are they going to do, Mom, have an orgy?" Honey had asked in Celsi's defence, then turned to Celsi and said, "don't forget my camcorder."
"They may very well," Giovanni had said, only half-joking. Honey had smiled, recalling the pictures of her father's she'd accidentally come across.
"Not everyone was as wild as you were, Dad," she said, now stifling a sneering smile.
Now it was Anna's turn. "Do these girls smoke hemp?"
"O'h, y' better be careful, Celsi. Pot's evil. It'll kill you, or turn you into Satan, or something," Honey had said, looking directly at Anna; from behind Celsi, she'd shaken her head.
"Darren, would you please leave us to talk this over with Celsi?" asked Giovanni seethingly calmly.
"I don't see why I should. She can't defend herself against you, you won't let her. She needs her brother, doesn't she?" Honey had caught Celsi's glance as she had called herself her brother. Celsi knew how much it hurt Honey every time she had to say someting like that, and was grateful that she did.
"Look, all I'm saying is it's hypocritical. You can't tell her she's not allowed to do things you've done already. So what if she experiments with pot, Mom? She'll know it for what it is. It's better than living her life in ignorance, isn't it? Don't you want her to expand her mind? She'll be fine! Even if she only does it once."
"I'm not gonna smoke pot!" It was the only thing that Celsi had said. Honey smiled, knowing what Celsi would find out.
Celsi's heart continued it's barrage on her rib cage as she impatiently watched the clock, waiting for her time to leave. She flipped open her sax case, and assembled it. Wild progressive variations on a theme by Mozart were flung from the bell, as she tried to release the butterflies in her stomach. Would she actually get away with this?
*knock knock knock*
Shit!
she thought, and ceased her improv. Daddy at the door: "Cel, could you keep it down?"
"Sorry!" Her father hated progressive jazz.
Lily lit the last candle in her mind. There was too much time left; she would end up pacing for an hour if she didn't do something soon. She sat on her bed and took calming breaths that were of no use. Every time she tried to clear her mind, a thought of Celsi would enter. Soon, Celsi would arrive, and a new realm of life that Lily had never thought possible would be open to her. Her thoughts raced, her head swam, and she felt faint. She nurtured the thoughts of Celsi in her head. The short blonde curls danced about her face as she played; she took her clothes off and sat in a chair, blue eyes sparkling; they lay together, touching, kissing.
Lily lifted the skirt of her dress, and rubbed her hand gently over her mound, easing the pressure. She sighed, frustrated; there was no time for that, she must prepare herself. Getting up, she checked the lasagne, lit the incense, turned out the lights, and began pacing. She couldn't think how she'd even begin to eat with her heart racing like this, and her loins were beginning to heat up again.
She checked the clock. Still another half-hour. Lily paced the room a few more times, and stopped at the window. In the past five minutes, a snow storm had flown from the depths of the sky, and was now raging. She sighed.
Celsi jumped skittighly at the sound of the telephone. Soon Honey was at her door, calling that it was her call. She (of course) picked up.
"Hello?" she said tentatively.
The voice that answered sent a wave of relief, and beautiful nervous tension coursing through her body, "Hi, Celsi. It's Lily."
She giggled nervously. "I know."
"Good. It's really snowing. Would you like me to come and pick you up, so you don't have to walk all that way?"
"Thank you so much!"
"Oh, it's not a problem at all," said Lily.
Celsi hesitated before she said, "Lily?"
"Yes?"
"Would you come and get me now? I have to get out of here."
"Sure," she said. "I'll be over in a flash."
As Celsi lay down the receiver, once again, the butterflies returned to her stomach. She paced nervously, her mind racing with her heart. She felt as if she would faint, or else have an orgasm on the spot. Lily was so intensely wonderfully beautiful; an angel or some higher being. She fell on her bed, and thought of Lily coming to rescue her from her mundane life, her strange parents, and conservative small-town high school; from her fear that someday someone would find out; from her equally present fear that no one would ever find out.
Suddenly overcome, Celsi wrung her hands in frustration, and tried not to cry out. A tear formed in her eye, and she quickly wiped it away. Taking a number of deep breaths, she looked into her vanity mirror. There was a masquera smudge from her eye to her temple.
"Fuck!" she exclaimed. "Fuck fuck fuck!" Enter Honey.
"Something wrong?" she asked, knowing full-well. Celsi turned to her sister with more tears in her eyes. "Don't cry!" warned Honey, rushing to hold her. "It's okay. It's okay. Look, we'll get you cleaned up, and then you can go. Don't worry. Everything's fine. Don't cry," she soothed. "Deep breaths."
Honey felt Celsi relax in her arms. "Okay?" she asked.
"Okay," whispered Celsi, "but Lily's coming to pick me up now."
"Then we'll have to do an efficient job. Come," instructed her sister.
Lily took a deep breath. This was it; the moment of truth. With a silent prayer to Freya, she knocked at the door. She heard the sound of four feet racing to open the door. Honey got there first.
"Hello, you must be Lily," she said. "Won't you come in?"
Lily entered and saw Celsi finishing bundling for the cold. At the sight of her love, it was impossible for her to keep the stupid smile off her face. Quickly she glanced at Honey.
"Are you Honey?" asked Lily. Honey put a finger to her lips, and nodded. Lily went on at a whisper, "Celsi says all sorts of wonderful things about her big sister. But she didn't tell me everything. A lot of things make sense now." Celsi was ready and joined Lily at the door.
"Ready?" asked Honey. Celsi nodded. "Watch your drinks. Make sure no one puts anything in them." Honey winked at Lily, causing her smile to widen. "And if you smell marijuana, make sure you get some." Then she whispered, "Good luck and blessed be."
"Bye Mom and Dad!" called Celsi as she left the house.
"Bye, Celsi!" called her mom. "Be home by ..." The door slammed shut.
During the drive, Lily looked over to the fidgeting Celsi. "I'm nervous too," she said. Celsi looked into her eyes, and moved her lips as if to say something, but was speechless.
"I really don't know how to act!" said Lily. "I mean, this is my first time with a woman, too."
"Can we not talk about this?" Celsi pleaded nervously.
"Sure."
We won't talk, but communicate in other ways
. Lily smiled at Celsi. "I understand."
Another wave of relief washed over Celsi.
At least she's not neurotic.
Lily was nervous for the entire drive. Never before had such a scent pervaded her nostrils. She almost forgot where she lived, and frequently had to remind herself to keep her eyes on the road. What could she say to Celsi? They had all kinds of things in common, she knew this, but what could she possibly say? Music: Berio? Satie? Bjork? Films: Spielburg? Egoyan? Lucas? Literature: Erotic? Sci-fi? Mystery Horror? Sex. Food. They had all kinds of interests in common. Why would nothing come to her mouth?
Lily's house was nice and warm, and quite dim. The scent of rose oil played in Celsi's nose, causing her to relax and take in the view. Lily had removed her coat, and now stood in her dress. She was a slight girl, slender and small, slim about the face, but taller than Celsi. Her curled black hair hung loosely past her shoulders, which the dress bared. Her pink lips shone in the candlelight, and her eyes smiled as Celsi gazed into them, and quickly looked away.
Her gaze was drawn to Lily's cleavage. The slender girl had smaller breasts than Celsi's own, but they were smooth and soft, and perfectly rounded. Now, Celsi noticed that the bodice of Lily's dress looked as though it belonged in Renaissance Italy. So much of her cleavage was revealed that Celsi imagined she could see, in the dim, the very top of Lily's nipple, but she quickly dismissed it and looked at the lilies patterned on the bodice.
At the same time, Lily was looking at Celsi. Her blonde hair bounced in natural ringlets on her shoulders. Spaghetti straps held up a plain black dress, which looked fit for a formal high school dance. It was short and revealed much of Celsi's fine legs. Not at all a dress suited to the weather, but Lily was Celsi's amour not her mother, and so didn't comment. Bare arms, and bare legs; Lily smiled to herself at the sexiness of her love, and caught the girl gazing at her breasts.
Finally, Lily broke the silence. "I think this is where I say, 'You look lovely tonight, my dear.'" Celsi smiled, and blushed. "And then you say, 'Thank you Lily, but you look far more beautiful.'"
