Note: this story fits in toward the end of Falling for Fran Pt. 02 rather than immediately after and, though it will make a bit more sense if you read that story first, you won't really miss out on too much if you decide to just read this one.
Shortly after I returned from visiting Fran in England, I gathered my closest friends together to both tell them all about the trip and to share the decision we'd made together about our future. It hadn't taken us much time together to determine that we wanted to spend all of our time together going forward so I was planning to leave the US behind and move to England. Once the initial shock had passed, everyone was happy for us and very supportive of our decision though filled with all kinds of questions. I had answers to some of the questions but was still trying to figure out so much that I could only promise to keep them all in the loop as things came together. Once I'd broken the news to my boss and my family, I really had to start focusing on the many unanswered questions.
It wasn't long after I'd shared the news with my friends that I got an unexpected visitor at my apartment. I hadn't really started packing anything yet by that point and was still trying to figure out what would be packed and what would be left behind: either sold, given away or donated. My apartment looked the same as it always had since most of the effort was going on in my head. Still, I hadn't been expecting anyone, though it made sense that people might start stopping by since I didn't know how much longer I was going to be around. On this occasion, it was Irene, my friend Jim's girlfriend, but her visit didn't really surprise me. We'd always had a kind of nerd connection, to the point where I had felt at one point like I was definitely a better match for her than Jim. For her, though, I likened it to being a nerd and dating the captain of the football team. Jim was much more outgoing and popular than either Irene or I were, so she was happy that he was so interested in her.
Their relationship wasn't unbalanced, necessarily, because she had a very positive effect on him, keeping him grounded and helping him mature a bit. I was happy for both of them but, early in their relationship, there was definitely a bit of jealousy and, on one occasion, it felt like we were on the brink of something happening between us. I knew during that time that Jim wasn't treating her with the respect that he should have been and had cheated on her a few times. I think at that point, she was willing to accept it since things hadn't gotten too serious yet but I am sure that she had to have known about it because she was not dumb. One weekend, there was a group of us hanging out at Jim's apartment and he was in the middle of a rowdy card game while she and I were sitting on the couch in front of the TV.
I think because of the air conditioning she had a blanket over her lap, which she ended up sharing with me, then she took my hand under the blanket. We sat there holding hands under the blanket but that was all that ever happened. Since she'd made that first move, and she knew that I hadn't resisted it, I figured I'd see what her next move would end up being but it never happened. I assumed that maybe she'd been tempted to get back at Jim then decided she didn't want to take that route. It seemed like maybe instead she'd focused on making their relationship better and more serious so I left it alone and only occasionally wondered what might have happened. As it turned out, she apparently had wondered, as well.
"I'm so surprised that you're leaving," she said after I'd invited her inside, "and all the way to England!"
"It's definitely not an impulsive decision," I replied, "We looked at it from every possible angle."
"I know it isn't and that you wouldn't do something like that anyway," she said, "but do you remember that one night at Jim's apartment when we were on the couch with the blanket over us and we were holding hands?"
"Of course," I replied, "that's a very good memory for me."
"For me, too," she said, "but I guess on some level I've always wondered what the next step would have been and if there was still a chance that something might happen. With you moving to England, it pretty much kills that speculation, even if nothing was ever going to happen anyway."
"I feel like you wouldn't be here right now if you thought nothing was ever going to happen," I said.