Exploring

This is the third story of a short series examining male sexuality; more specifically my sexuality.

As I have got older I have found the borders of sexuality becoming blurred, particularly as I seek more and different sexual kicks.

It's not essential to read the other parts first, but it might help.

*

I still couldn't quite get my head round it. I couldn't understand why I was so curious, why I had such an interest, why I had sudden urges and what it was that out of the blue made me give into those desires. I had never had such feelings or desires when I was younger. They seemed to have grown on me as I got older until now, in my forties; they had become part of my life.

I am talking, of course, about my sexuality. I am explaining how that has changed and is continuing to do so. Yes, I am describing how I have given in several times to my desires and how I have expressed my bi feelings and needs on several occasions.

The first time was 'accidental.' It happened in a spa in a five plus hotel in Bangkok. The male masseur was a young Thai and I think he was as confused, surprised and excited as I was when he saw my erection; he masturbating me seemed to be natural and just simply seemed to happen. It was enjoyable, if a little scary when I had the inevitable post cumming guilt trip.

The second and third times didn't just happen for I visited a male masseur and paid him fifty quid a time. Both the massage and the subsequent hand jobs were fantastic, as was holding his semi hard dick as he made me cum.

The threesome in Boston with my wife and a guy we met in the bar of the Marriott at Copley Place in Boston took things a little further.

I had for ages wanted to see my wife with another guy. Like many married men, or so I have read, I wanted to see her being fucked, but, as she pointed out, it would be difficult to arrange for me to simply watch. Hence, the threesome idea. At first it seemed rather illusory, although her keenness had surprised me. As did her finding the guy in Champions bar in the hotel when I left her there to go to our room and send an email.

Being naked with both of them and watching Kelly and Brad start to have sex as I held her hands was incredible enough. To then have my wife suck me as the virtual stranger fucked her until all three of us climaxed was simply amazing.

After we'd finished and Brad and I both softened, things became a little awkward and embarrassing. Kelly showered, leaving us alone in the sitting room of the suite. We hardly spoke for I certainly, and Brad as well I suspect, felt awkward being naked and limp in each other's presence.

"Look James, shall I go now?"

"No, not at all," Kelly said as she glided from the bathroom with a big, fluffy, white towel wrapped round her. "It's just half time," she added pausing as she looked from him to me and back again "Well isn't it chaps?"

I was dumbstruck by the way my wife of twenty years had taken over and was now clearly in control; dumbstruck, but excited and pleased, I liked the new 'dominant' Kelly.

She's a natural blonde, with near shoulder length hair and a stunning face. She has big pools of blue eyes, high, prominent cheekbones and full, almost voluptuous lips, which I am sure make men who stare at her, which is most, think just one thing, 'wrap them round my cock.' She had done that to me earlier as she had been given what seemed to be by her reactions, a very strong orgasm by Brad. Kelly has a great body with her most striking features being beneath her waist. Her tits, though pert, are small, between an A and B cup although she has prominent, highly sensitive nipples. It's her long slender legs and her superbly rounded arse that are strong points; she looks amazing in tight jeans.

As it turned out it was less than half time for we indulged ourselves again that evening and once more in the morning.

I guess it was probably a couple of hours after our first session when we were again in bed. This time, I shagged my wife and she sucked Brad.

We slept together in the huge king sized bed and had a great room service breakfast including, extravagantly, a bottle of champagne. That did the trick, however, and got things going very nicely with, once more, my wife leading and directing the action.

Brad and I were laying on our backs side by side, slightly uncomfortably, in some ways, our arms and sides were touching. We were both naked and very hard. Kelly, also naked, was kneeling between our legs. She was holding our cocks and alternating her mouth from one to the other. As she bobbed down onto Brad so I would stroke her back and caress her bum as he would when her mouth was on me. It was good stuff.

We started to sort of roll round a bit with both of us grabbing handfuls of Kelly's more intimate places. She was alternating kisses and sucking of our cocks as we were pushing our fingers into her, with me sliding one into her bum, I knew she was up for that at times, but of course Brad didn't; having that up on him made me feel good.

"So guys, what's it to be this time?" She almost outrageously asked.

"What do want Kelly?" Brad asked considerately.

If my wife's behaviour and actions had surprised me so far what she then did absolutely bowled me over.

Glancing from Brad to me and than back again, she reached out and took hold of my cock. I looked up and saw she was also holding Brad's. I assumed that she was amusing herself by holding both at once, but it quickly became clear that it was more than that. She was pulling me by my cock. I looked at her; she smiled and continued gently pulling me. She turned me onto my side and, I realised she'd done the same to Brad, but he was only half on his side and half his back. Still she pulled me.

'Oh fuck,' I thought as I realised what she was going to do. I glanced at Brad; he didn't flinch or move, but simply lay there his big cock with my wife's hand round it, seeming to be staring at me, beckoning me.

And then as Kelly quite huskily whispered "This' in answer to Brad's earlier question, she pressed our cocks together.

I didn't know what to do. Brad simply lay there so he gave no clue, but Kelly's pulling and pushing showed that she wanted us to rub our cocks together. Slowly both of our bodies started to respond to the situation my wife had created and we began making sort of fucking movements against the other's cock and stomach.

At times our movements took us further than that and our chests touched and our boobs rubbed together. It was not unpleasant, but despite this being caused by Kelly, I couldn't let myself go or respond in the way that deep down a part of me was suggesting. I couldn't put my arms round Brad, I couldn't hold him tight and thrust myself firmly against him as I would with a woman and, of course, I couldn't kiss him as, I realised with a degree of mortification, I half wanted to.

I think it was as new and as worrying to him as it was to me, but also I felt he was gaining similar pleasures and concerns from it as me.

Kelly moving around us, kneeling beside us, running her hands over us, kissing us, licking and sucking us and pressing her nice little tits against us was orchestrating everything, she was now totally running the show. And in my mind at least and I suspect Brad's too, she was also lending it a bisexual credibility as opposed to it being a slightly sordid gay scene.

I was finding it hard to know what to do with my hands. Again, my amazingly industrious and creative wife solved it. She rolled us both more onto our backs, but slightly on our sides so we were partly facing each other, Kneeling between our legs again she smiled from one to the other then reached forward, her tits dangling invitingly, and took hold of one of each of our hands. Slowly, maybe giving us the time and opportunity to demure if either wished, she moved our hands until they were over the other's body. I am sure we both knew then what she was intending. Glancing from one of us to the other she then placed our hands right on the other's cock.

Without saying a word, she removed her hands from us and put them on herself; one on her tits, the other on her pussy. One finger curled downwards, sank into the folds of pink flesh and found her clit. Then, right in front of me and this almost virtual stranger she started to masturbate. That was not just an incredibly arousing vision, but was a clear signal to us and we both followed suit on the other's cock.

I wasn't sure just what was the more exciting, having Brad jack me off or me wanking him. At first we were both a little tight and restrained. I mean being jacked off by another bloke in front of your wife, even if she is also masturbating, is a pretty full on thing to be doing. But quickly we both relaxed and did exactly to the other dick that we had done so many times to our own.

We managed to cum at roughly the same times with considerable grunting and groaning from Brad and me and deep moans from Kelly.

+

The building in Shoreditch was a maze of different rooms set on three floors. But then I supposed it had to be for it needed to provide quite a wide range of facilities. Lounges, bars, showers, spa, sauna, cinema, quiet rooms, dark rooms and a pool. And, of course fairly small cell like rooms with padded benches and lockable doors.

I saw it advertised on the net when I was looking at some porn and got into some gay stuff. I didn't think much more about it for a while. After all I'm not gay, I'm not someone who needs other men, and I don't need sex with men, do I? I just see it as sex, not bi or gay, just sex. Sex with cocks as opposed to tits and cunts.

Again, though, that sort of fog had come over me a few weeks after Kelly and I returned from that trip to Boston. The sort where for no logical reason, I suddenly do want sex with men. I do want to go out on a limb, push my boundaries out and have some form of 'sex with cocks.'

That's probably why I found myself paying the fifteen quid entrance fee to the 'Gay Sauna' as it was, rather unnecessarily I thought, described one afternoon.

I was given a key to a locker and two towels. The black guy on the reception explained where I should go to change and offered extra towels should I need them.

I went to the locker room, undressed and wrapped one towel round my waist. I didn't know what the other was for so I left it in the locker.

Wandering out into the first bar lounge room and then through the rabbit warren myriad of rooms I saw men of all ages, shapes, sizes and descriptions. Nobody seemed to speak to each other and there were few smiles. It was as if everyone was busy and intent on going somewhere, but there was nowhere to go.

I walked the corridors, went up one set of stairs then down another as I acquainted myself with the gay sauna.

I saw the surprisingly generous swimming pool and watch fascinated as some guys swam lengths naked and as others slipped out of their towels and into the water. There was no frolicking in the water; no one seemed to know anyone else.

Off to one side tucked into a corner were a couple of bubbling hot tubs, one presumably hotter than the other. Each was crowded with guys sitting round on the ledges the water well up to chest level. I saw one guy with his arm round another, they were cuddling, 'at last' I thought, not feeling excited, but intrigued 'something's happening.'

I went into the sauna and here at last was some real action. One guy with what from the back looked to have a good body was lying on his front, his head on his arms, his eyes closed. He was naked. Another older, quite chubby guy was massaging his back and another guy, about my age with a heavy moustache was stroking the reclining guy's legs. I watched as the first guy ran his hands down and caressed the bum and as the other guy ran his upwards and onto the balls. The guy laying flat grunted and opened his legs wider. Both hands were now on his bum and between his legs. There was a series of low grunts as the young guy slowly raised himself up onto all fours. He was hugely erect. The other two dropped their towels and rubbed each other's cock before returning to the kneeling young, well built guy. They rubbed his arse, cupped his balls then started to wank each other with one hand and stroke and rub him with their other one.

It really was quite an amazing and, I have to admit, pretty arousing sight to be sitting in a sauna wrapped in a towel watching a nude, youngish adonis being masturbated by two guys who were also wanking each other. I was stunningly hard, which I suppose was confirmation of my recently found bisexuality.

I heard a series of grunts and the chubby one saying.

"Fuck it I'm going to cum."

He turned away from me a little as he obviously shot his load. The guy with the moustache kept working on the young guy's cock until he too moaned and, from the sound of it, although it was too dark to see, spurted his sperm onto the sauna floor.

It was all so matter of fact; hardly any words were exchanged, no other gestures, cuddles, caresses or kissing. Simply sex.

I went and had a dip in the pool and enjoyed swimming naked, something I'd never done before. I found it quite stirring to stand beside the pool with several guys standing around and a few lying on loungers, some with towels round them, some bare, as I removed my towel and got into the pool. I was semi hard and that felt good. It also felt good to catch a couple of guys looking at me.

I was getting used to the sex riddled atmosphere and sordidly wanton atmosphere. That said, I didn't look at the many guys of all shapes, sizes, age and colours and felt that I fancied the. It wasn't at all like being with women, where the size of a breast, the shape of a bum or a flash of shapely leg gets me going so easily. It was different and hard to explain. It was totally sexual for me, nothing else, just pure, straightforward sex. The sauna was there to deliver the facilities for it; the numerous men were the providers. Put the two together appropriately and you get to cum. Nothing more, nothing less. And to be truthful that's all I wanted.

I sat in the hot tub, naked of course. It was crowded, eight guys in a circle. No smiles, no talk just furtive glances and, mostly, avoiding others' eyes. A couple of guys got out, one of whom was erect, he didn't seem to care as nobody else did. It's what the place was all about.

The guy next me pressed his leg against mine. My first, unconscious action was to move it away. A moment or two later I looked at him. He smiled. He looked ok; he was about my age and build. His leg pressed against mine again.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see that a couple were kissing and that another guy quite obviously had his hand in the lap of the bloke next to him. They got up; both were hard as they left the hot tub together, presumably going off somewhere. Rather unnecessarily in some ways they wrapped their towels round them, their erections very obvious. Another guy, an Asian, took their place.

The leg was more insistently pressing on mine. I was hard again. I pressed back. He pressed harder, I didn't move, it was exciting. Daft really, but the thrill of the chase was arousing me. His hand rested on my leg just above my knee. I could move, I could shrug it off, I could push it off. There were lots of things I could do, but what I did do was nothing.

I slightly turned my head and caught his glance. He again smiled, but this time as he did that he slid his hand upwards. It was almost at my groin. I again did nothing. I suppose that was an invitation really, or at least an acceptance of his overt request.

His hand closing round my cock felt fantastic. He half turned so that his right side was towards the centre of the tub and his left knee slid under my leg as he stroked my cock and balls. I looked at him and he pushed himself forward so that his hard on pressed right against my leg. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to grip it.

I looked around. Most of the guys seemed absorbed either, in their own thoughts as they stared into space or, with their partner who they were doing similar things with as I was.

No one cared, no one was bothered, there was no shame or embarrassment, no guilt or judgement, just sex, just male to male, bi sex. I felt at ease and I felt at home.

We started to wank each other. I didn't want to cum, at least not in the tub!

I stood up.

"See you later, thanks," I said feeling good at the glances my erection got from a couple of guys.

I wrapped my towel round me, not at all embarrassed by the big bulge, and wandered around the club.

I strolled along a corridor up some stairs, past the hot tub and along another corridor with small rooms either side. Some had the doors closed, presumably because they were occupied and others were open. About half the rooms were empty but some had guys sitting or laying in them, most were naked, some on their backs their generally half erect cocks on show, some on their fronts. I assumed they were giving open invitations to the passers by to join them. That didn't appeal so I kept walking, my hard on dissipating somewhat.

I came to quite a large room. It was dark with massive plasma on one wall. There was what looked to be rubber or plastic coated couches around the other three walls. Men were lying side by side on them watching a gay movie, a black guy being sucked by a young blonde kid who, in turn, was being shagged by another black guy. Needless to say, both black guys had massive cocks.

Most of the audience had let their towels fall away and many were quite openly either wanking themselves or the guy next to them. Again that didn't appeal so I kept on moving, but by now I knew that I definitely wanted some action.

I kept getting hard and then softening as one thing would arouse me then something would, almost, disgust me. The whole scene was the two extremes; strong sexual thrills mixed with levels of sordidness that simply turned me off completely.

I kept going and found the 'Dark Room.' It was as good as total darkness in there. But there were sounds and after a few moments I could just about make out vague shapes and see the whiteness of towels. There were loads of guys in there, but at first I couldn't work out what it was all about, silly me. Again it suddenly hit home, gay sex clubs are totally and utterly just about sex. So much so that in the dark room you could have sex of varying degrees without even seeing, let alone talking to the guy or guys you was having sex with. As I mingled unseeingly with god knows how many men so hands would touch me, lift my towel rub my tits or ruffle my hair. I stopped in a corner with a group all round me. I had one guy pressing his cock against my arse through the towel as another put his hand up my 'skirt' of a towel and fondled my cock. Unconsciously, almost, I slipped my hand up his towel and found his stunningly hard bloody big cock. I started rubbing it, he did the same to me, but then another guy butted in and must have knelt down for I felt him taking my cock into his mouth. I wasn't ready for that yet and broke away and I left the dark room. I think that simply was just a little too sordid for me.

I went to the bar. It was crowded. Another large plasma was on the wall showing what was clearly a gay icon DVD for there was scenes with Joan Collins, Kylie and Sharon Stone all beautiful women who I would happily have shagged.

I had a scotch and wandered round the busy bar seeing for the first time a few trannies with overdone make up, big dangly earrings and well OTT wigs; certainly no interest there I thought as equally I felt none whatsoever for the number of really camp guys cruising round the bar touching and pressing themselves against people.

In other circumstances it would have been quite laughable. A crowded noisy, quite large bar full of men just wearing towels, well apart that is from the trannies and a few braver guys who had removed their towels and stood around naked, and flaccid I noticed.