We had been broken up for awhile; two months. I was still going through the grieving process of losing the relationship. Even though she broke up with me, it was sort of mutual, I mean, I wanted her back, but I was smart enough to realize that it wouldn’t work out in round two either and so did she. But that didn’t mean we didn’t still care about each other. But in order to emotionally heal, one must stop having contact with the old love, and so we did. Until she called me up two months later to talk, and we did.
I had just gotten home from hanging out with my best friend, doing the whole bar thing, but just kind of babe-watching, not really looking to get into any girls pants or anything because that would be more harmful to me emotionally than helping. But I still have needs, so when I got home I put a porn in the VCR and grabbed the baby oil we used to use and got ready to start whacking off, a dirty shirt spread out before me to catch my load, hey, it was going to need to get washed anyway, right?
So the phone rings, and I’m all pissed off, because now I have to put the movie on pause so the person on the other end doesn’t know what I’m doing and have to suffer through that embarrassment for both of us. When I hear her voice call my name, my insides twist with anxiety and nervousness, and the memories come flooding back like the annual monsoons in India, and my conscious is inundated with her. The smell of her body, the feel of her curves, her warmth, her breath, her soft night-voice so soothing. Everything comes back, and my nerves kick into high gear, and adrenaline pumps through my veins and my hands begin to shake slightly, I begin to sweat, and I know my voice quivers ever so slightly as well.
“Hello, Tara,” I said. “How are you doing?”
“I’m good. How’s yourself?”
“Okay, I guess,” A pause for both of us on the phone as we consider the next appropriate thing to say.
“I still think about you,” she said.
“I still think about you too.” I reply.
“I’m sorry things worked out the way they did in the end, but I think it was for the best.” She said.
“Me too,” I say, “Me too.”
“So … what are you doing right now?” she asks.
I decide to throw caution to the wind. “I’m just sitting here in the living room watching a porn and thinking of you.” I was always known as a joker, I would say some of the most outrageous shit sometimes, and the joke of it was is that you never knew if I was lying or telling the truth. Sometimes people are more willing to believe the lie than question the truth. I had told Tara all of these things so she knew me and she knew my ways.
“Which one?” she asks. Was that excitement or anticipation in her voice? I couldn’t tell.
“’The Addiction’.” I said.
“That was a good one.” Tara said with a sigh.
“Yes it was, or is.” I said, depending on how you were looking at the situation.
“You said you were thinking of me too?” she said with a tremble in her voice I noticed but couldn’t quite place.
“Yes I was.” I said, I was hard again as I thought of our intimacy and was slowly pulling on my oiled self.
“What … what were you thinking about?” she said again with a more audible sigh.
“I was thinking about us.” I said baiting her.
“What … what about us?” she said with a tremble again.
I threw caution to the wind yet again. “I was thinking about the times when we were together –“
“Yes.” She urged me on.
“- when we made love.” I said.
“Like what?” she said again with a sigh, and I knew then that she was getting horny or already was when she called. The sex we shared was the best either of us had had, but the relationship didn’t work for other reasons. Their truly is more to a relationship that just the physical aspect and we both realized that and accepted that at the end.
“Remember when I would go down on you?” I began my verbal masturbation.
“Yes.” She trembled.
“I would begin by opening your beautiful legs and leaning forward to kiss the inside of your knee. Then slowly work my way up your beautiful thigh.” I paused.
“Yes.” She said with a little groan.
“And I would plant kisses all over your pubic hair and across your lips before I began to lick you up and down.” I paused.
