Hello people. Hope you are doing well out there in Fantasy Land. What, you say you are not in Fantasy Land? Oh you will be soon. Don't worry, because we are going deep into Fantasy Land. So deep, we may never return. And believe me, you will go to Fantasy Land with me. Even if I have to pick you up and sling you over my shoulder. So come with me, to Fantasy Land.
It all started innocently enough one fine day back in the eighties. If you recall from a previous story, Rich and I ventured into the alarm business. This was in addition to our core business of telephone system installation and repair. In order to design better alarm systems we hired a guy named Carl. A real whiz kid. A bit nerdy, but a real genius. If you recall Carl invented a time machine. I being the adventurous type, was the first to try it out. Went all the way back to Chicago 1962. Had a great time by the way. Oh yea, that girl was fine, like fine wine. It took me a while to recover after I got back. Let me tell you people, this time travel stuff is rough on the body. Talk about jet lag, you have no idea. But, anyway...I thought it time to give it another try. I had time to get back in the swing of things and I was just itching for a new adventure. So, while at the office one day I decided it was time to talk to Carl again.
"Carl my man." I started.
"Yes." He answered.
"Carl, does that time machine of yours still work?" I asked.
"Oh yes." He said excitedly, "In fact it is better than ever. I can send you anywhere, anytime real quick now."
"Good." I said, "Hey, you don't think we can try it out again do you?"
"Um, I don't see why not." He said, "I just have to start it up. Give me a minute."
The lights in the room suddenly dimmed for a moment as needles moved and panel lights flashed. There was a momentary hum from the machine.
"Where do you want to go this time?" Carl asked hesitantly.
"Oh, I want to go way back this time. All the way back to the time of Adam and Eve." I stated with confidence, "You know, the dawn of creation. The origin of mankind."
"Oh, I don't know." Started Carl, "That might be a bit dangerous. There might still be dinosaurs and wild animals running around. You sure?"
"Oh yea, I'm sure." I stated. I think I was sure, but what the heck. How dangerous can it be? I mean, this is a fantasy.
"Well, alright." Carl said.
"Oh, by the way." I started, "How do I get back?"
Last time I just sort of got lucky. This time I had to ask.
"Just snap your fingers on your right hand three times in a row." Carl answered.
Hmmm...Three times in a row. I have to remember that.
"Well, I'm ready. Shall we do it?" I asked boldly.
Carl pushed some buttons and twirled some knobs. Colored lights flickered on and off as the machine hummed louder. He punched some numbers into his keyboard. Once again the room started to spin out of control. I felt funny. My head started to spin and I felt lightheaded. I shook, I started to sweat. My mind started to race at a fast pace. I was out of control and there was no stopping it now.
I woke up on a deserted beach. The water was relatively calm as the waves gently kissed the shoreline. The sky was a deep blue with a few snow white clouds hanging low like cotton candy. There were trees off in the distance as the white sand beach receded into what appeared to be woods. I took in the beautiful scenery for a moment. The air seemed so fresh and pure by the water I didn't want to leave the gorgeous white sand. I knew I had a mission, though. I turned away from the water and started walking towards the woods.
Once I reached the wooded area I was once again in awe of the natural beauty. As I walked through the dense forest, I looked up and saw seemingly endless amounts of colorful birds flying around carefree in a truly natural habitat. The trees all seemed to have leaves of deep green and grew straight and tall. I could hear the calls of various animals in the distance, no doubt not used to a human visitor passing through. After continuing on for some time longer, I paused to rest. I leaned against the bark of a large oak tree and took a deep breath. The air was so clean and pure it seemed to have almost a cleansing effect on the body. Suddenly, I heard a noise in the distance. It sounded like footsteps.
"Who goes there?" I asked quietly.
There was silence.
"Who is there?" I inquired.
I walked for a moment and suddenly came face to face with a handsome, youthful man dressed in only a couple of fig leaves and a vine. He was carrying a few coconuts and seemed quite startled as I approached.
"I'm sorry." I said as he suddenly drew back, "You must be Adam."
The young man looked me over cautiously for a minute. His gaze was intense at first as he sized me up. After a few more moments he spoke.
"Coconut?" He held out his hand offering me his find.
"No, I just ate." I said, "Thanks anyway."
"Coconut." Adam repeated.
"No, um, I'm Alan. Pleased to meet you." I offered him my hand.
Adam stared at me again in curiosity. I had to be the first man he has ever seen. After a few moments he stuck out his hand and shook mine.
"Adam." He said.
"Yes, you're Adam." I confirmed. There was no doubt in my mind who he was.
"Adam." He repeated, this time pointing to himself, "Adam."
Not much of a talker I thought to myself. I guess language skills were not particularly well developed back then. Adam will never be known in history for his literary skills. Heck, history is not even a subject yet in schools. Come to think of it, there aren't even schools yet. We are still thousands of years away from literature and poetry. I am starting to see why.
We travel a fairly well worn path through the dense forest. I can tell Adam has taken this route many times before. He seems to know exactly where he is going. After a while the trees start to become more widely spaced. I can see bright blue skies overhead. I can hear birds singing in the distance. The sun is shining brightly on this beautiful clear day. There are colorful flowers everywhere as hummingbirds and bees fly around gathering nectar. We are soon standing in the middle of this giant paradise. In the center a giant fruit tree rises up majestically. I think to myself that this has to be the most beautiful place I have ever seen. I realize we are in the Garden of Eden.
While standing in the garden a chimpanzee runs up to us excitedly and grabs Adam's hand.
"Brenda." Adam says, pointing to the chimp.
"Brenda?" I ask.
"Brenda." He repeats.
Brenda the chimp. OK, so it is Adam, Eve and Brenda the chimp. Don't recall reading that in the Bible. Then again I don't recall reading the Bible, but that is another story.
The three of us start walking towards a thatched hut. It is a crude affair, covered partially in dried mud and leaves. Adam goes inside briefly while Brenda and I wait outside. In a moment, Adam emerges with the most beautiful young woman I have ever seen. She has auburn hair and big green eyes that sparkle in the sun. She is wearing only fig leaves, strategically placed and held by a vine tied in the back. Hmmm, I think. I wonder how easy that is to untie.
"You must be Eve." I start. "I'm Alan."
"Eve. Eve." Adam smiles, obviously proud of his gorgeous mate.
I look into Eve's gorgeous eyes as she stands in the Garden of Eden. Man, there is something I'd like to plant in her garden I think to myself. Eve just smiles back silently. In a moment Brenda seems to get a bit agitated. I look to my right and see two chimpanzees going at it as the male takes the female from behind.
Suddenly, Adam grabs Eve and bends her over. He gets behind her and starts humping away. I cover my eyes not really wanting to see the sight before me. Brenda is jumping up and down excitedly and making all sorts of chimp noises. In a minute it is over. I uncover my eyes to see Adam standing there with a big proud grin on his face and Eve looking a bit unenthusiastic.
"Like monkey." I say, pointing off towards the chimps.