EUPHAMISM SERIES:
PRODUCTS AND SERVICES
Susan paused before going inside. The windows of the office building made excellent mirrors, and she took one last look at her impeccably pressed business suit and her hair and makeup before picking up the leather case she carried and heading into the building. Her client was on the fifth floor, so she headed straight to the elevator.
This was one of her usual stops. Once a month, she would come to his office with her leather case full of equipment to visit one of her fussier clients. He paid well for her products and services, though, so she didn't particularly mind his idiosyncrasies.
Mr. Fuller's secretary greeted her with a smile. Alice was used to her monthly visits, and the friendly blond woman always offered her coffee and something to eat if she had to wait, not something she did for every visitor. On this occasion, Alice waved her through. "He's cleared an hour for your meeting. No waiting today." Susan smiled and went in, having prepped herself for this in the elevator. Fuller required special handling.
"Good day, Mr. Fuller. I hope you've been well since our last appointment."
"Quite well, thank you, and yourself?"
"Good. I have my usual products and some new accessories to show you," she said brightly. He looked interested, but then glanced at his computer monitor. "I'd like to clear more time for anything new. Unfortunately, one of my contracts needs a little attention. I can't spare as much time as I thought. I think it will just have to be a standard service call." He then opened a drawer and removed the corporate checkbook he used to pay her. "Here is the usual fee, Susan."
She pocketed the check. "Pity. I always look forward to new product demonstration." Deciding she'd best get to it, Susan came around the desk to help him prepare his equipment. Opening his equipment's covering with deft movements, working catch and zipper, she brought it out and began to prep it.
"Let's see your goods, shall we?" he interrupted, taking over the prep work himself. She stepped back with a smile and slowly worked the catch and zipper before removing the outer covering and neatly folding and setting it aside. She slid off the inner covering and sat on his desk, baring her goods to his happy gaze. She started to work on the rest, but he stopped her. "I like the looks of that. The product's primary interface is all that really needs to be uncovered today."
She managed not to roll her eyes, keeping her manner professional. "Of course, Mr. Fuller. Can I help you with your equipment? I do enjoy the prep work." It was coming along rather slowly. With all the practicing he did, she thought, one would think he'd be better at it.
"By all means," he agreed, letting go and giving her access.
She got on her knees to get a closer look and took hold of the equipment, gently but firmly manipulating it. It soon began to respond and she smiled before leaning forward and giving it a kiss. It usually took more than one hand to prep this piece of equipment, so she leaned forward and began to use her mouth in earnest, taking in as much of the equipment as she could.
After only a moment, Fuller stopped her. "I think," he gasped, "the equipment is ready." Susan looked it over with a critical eye. "Wouldn't want to activate it too soon," he reminded her.
Nodding, Susan stood up and reached in to her case. "One moment, while I install the standard safety equipment." Fuller looked unhappy, but he said nothing as she slid the safety equipment into place. He didn't want any accidents after all.
She had her own safety measures, of course, but no safety device was 100% effective. When it was in place, she stood and sat on his desk again, positioning her product interface at the edge of the desk for his inspection. Normally, his inspections were quite thorough, and she really enjoyed them, but today, he must have really been pressed for time. After far too brief an inspection with fingers and tongue, he stood and brought his equipment to her product interface.
Leaning back and supporting herself with her hands, she watched as his equipment slid into the interface and began to work. The rhythm was steady and the equipment remained primed for nearly 20 minutes. Her own system produced two successful task completion notices before his equipment performed its primary function, providing her with a third successful task completion notice.
Breathing hard for a moment afterward, she said nothing, but noted with satisfaction that the safety equipment had functioned properly. When she could, she smiled at him. "I'm happy to report that your equipment is functioning at optimum, Mr. Fuller. I'd say the service call was a glowing success."
"I agree, Susan. Your product interface functions remarkably well and remains as tight as ever despite the heavy use it gets."
"I have a very rigorous and effective exerci- er, maintenance routine. I'm quite pleased with the results, as are my clients," she replied while removing the safety equipment and discarding it.
Fuller finished putting his equipment away, while Susan arranged the coverings for hers. "A pleasure as always. Hopefully, next month, I'll have time for some of your new products."
"I look forward to it, Mr. Fuller." She glanced at the time display on his computer. As the visit was a short one, she could take her time cleaning up before her next appointment. She also needed to pick up more safety equipment. She was almost out.
Four years before, she'd been negligent with her own safety measures and a failure in a client's safety equipment had occurred at a really bad time. She'd thought long and hard about how to deal with the resulting accident, but in the end had let it run its course. She hadn't regretted it for a minute. Which reminded her; she'd need to watch the clock and hurry after her next appointment in order to pick up her little accident at 4:00.
With all equipment stowed, she shook hands with him. "See you next month?" she asked.
"Absolutely. Put me on your calendar for the usual time. I'll do my best to let you know at least three days in advance if I need to reschedule."
Susan checked herself in his mirror and reapplied her lipstick before she left the office. Alice gave her another smile and wished her a good day as she passed the woman's desk. "See you next month, Alice."
IT SUPPORT
Gary expected her at 2:30, and Susan arrived right on time, wearing slacks and the logo shirt of a well-known IT support company and carrying a laptop case and tool kit.
Gary's secretary nodded and waved her in, being too busy to do more than glance up from her machine. Susan knocked on his door and was called in. Gary smiled at her. "Good to see you, Susan. I think we need a full diagnostic today, focusing on the I/O interfaces."
"Sure, Gary," she said easily. Like Fuller, Gary was a bit odd, but he could be fun, too. She accepted his payment for the service call. "Let's get the cover off first, shall we?"
Both quickly discarded their covers. "Start with inspection of my cable and the connector," Gary smiled as Susan got on her knees to do just that. A careful inspection with hands and mouth followed, and Gary had to interrupt after a few minutes. "I think that port is working fine. Why don't you watch the screen while I test the others?"
Susan smiled and chuckled as she provided the standard safety equipment before bending over the desk. The screen displayed what he probably thought of as a motivational film. The woman certainly looked happy with the man's efforts. He slid his cable into place. "Primary port looks good. Solid connection." He removed and inserted it repeatedly for almost ten minutes before stopping. "Now to make sure the last access point, the backdoor, is functional and secure." He aimed a bit higher and inserted his cable.
"You know," Susan commented, "the manufacturer never intended that connection. Be careful," she grunted as he picked up his pace, "or you'll void the warranty." He slowed down and smoothed out. "Better," she sighed in relief. Making sure her 'back door' was functional and secure, would never be her favorite activity, but he paid well for it.
The diagnostic routine went on for another ten minutes and she actually managed a successful task completion notice before he grunted and started to 'download.' Susan sometimes wondered about the mixed metaphors, but then she shrugged and moved on with her day.
"Thanks for the very productive service call," Gary said. "I'm sure I'll get a lot more work done now."
"Always happy to help," she assured him while discreetly double-checking his fee. "Same time next month?"
"Right. See you then."
CHILD CARE
The director of Tiny Tots worried Susan. He had been hinting that he knew about her profession for a while and wanted to talk. The prices were high at Tiny Tots, but the place had a great staff and an excellent reputation, so concern over having to move Ryan had her on guard around the man. If he wanted her to go elsewhere, she could afford to, but she and Ryan liked the place.
Pulling into the parking lot, she looked to the playground and saw it was already cleared. All of the kids were inside waiting for their parents. She found herself tackled as soon as she opened the door. "Mommy!" He hugged her leg and beamed up at her. She scooped him up and turned to an exasperated looking attendant.
"Slipped by you again, I see."
"He's fast," she sighed. "Oh," she said, as Susan signed Ryan out for the day, "the director asked to see you."
"Oh?"
"I don't know what it's about." She gestured toward the back. "He's in his office." Susan shrugged and made her way back toward the office with Ryan already starting to nod off on her shoulder. Clearly he'd had a long day.
"Mr. Janson?" she called, knocking on his doorframe.
"Ah, yes, Ms. Maxwell. I wanted to discuss some business matters with you, but I can see Ryan is tuckered out. Might we speak privately this evening? Or tomorrow evening after hours?"
"I can have a neighbor watch Ryan and come back around 7:00."
"Excellent. I look forward to it."
Susan nodded and made her way out to her car. Ryan barely stirred as she strapped him into his car seat.
Mr. Janson greeted her with the blandly neutral smile he reserved for dealing with parents. Susan followed him into his office and waited while he took his place behind his desk. "Thank you for coming, Ms. Maxwell. I'll come straight to the point. I am acquainted with two of your clients, and I've become aware of what you do for a living."
"What is it you think I do?" Susan asked, wanting him to be direct.
"You're a whore." There was no accusation in his words. He was simply stating a fact.
Susan only watched him, waiting for him to continue. He wouldn't have been so blunt if he didn't have proof. She'd need to confirm that, though. The word 'whore' didn't offend her, it was accurate, and while some preferred words like escort, Susan had never been one to sugarcoat anything.
"I'm acquainted with Mr. Neilson and Mr. Massey. I might have been skeptical if just one told me this, but I've been able to confirm it through other sources." He spent a few minutes elaborating, and Susan was somewhat relieved that he didn't have any actual evidence, just a lot of hearsay. Clearly, though, the thought he had her trapped, proving he wasn't as smart as he thought he was. "Now, you should know that that doesn't really concern me. Ryan is a healthy, happy child who shows no signs of understanding things he shouldn't."
"Of course not," Susan snapped, getting angry at the implication.
"I'm quite glad of that, so there's really no need for this to go beyond us."
"What do you want?" Susan asked.
"As the director of this facility and overall manager for the region, I have a certain latitude. If I feel someone isn't fitting in or brings a bad element into contact with the children, I can ask them to take their business elsewhere. I also have the ability to help struggling families by offering... discretionary discounts."
