I was working an estate sale on the north part of town, deep in the bowels of one of the wealthy suburbs. It was a huge deal that we got it, and every dealer in the county was going to be trying to get in early as possible to get the first pick at a lifetime of fine furniture, clothes and sundry items. I'd had a lot of experience with these people trying to muscle there way in, but we enforced a system that my father strictly maintained, with no exceptions. The problem was, I had no idea what the system was.
But as a reward for landing this huge sale, Dad was finally going to show me the secret system and integrate me fully into the company. To say I was excited, would be a total and complete lie. At this point, estate sales had just been an easy job doing a good business, that's it. The secret system was just something else to learn, master and move on to the next thing.
So on the day of this sale, I met my Dad on the premises early in the morning. The house was fantastic, a sprawling ranch style home owned by a upper middle class couple that loved to save and had great taste. The family were nice people, and we were eager to get them a good deal on some impressive furniture. Ted was at the front door watching things, and he sent me to the back bedroom where he said my Dad was waiting with the dealers.
In the room were four collectible and antique dealers I had known from past sales. Terry, a tall skinny blonde women who specialized in furniture. Henderson, an athletic and flamboyantly gay man who was the interior decorator for most of the wealthy people in the city. Diane, a short brunette with a large chest and a wicked sense of humor who was an agent for High Roller collectibles. Carmen, a raven-haired green eyed curvy woman of Colombian descent who maintained the second finest collection of Hummels in the nation, and this sale had a bunch of Hummels. Also in the room were my Dad and three of our Co-workers: Stan from accounting, Sherry from the sales floor and Bethany, also from the sales floor. If the bedroom hadn't been exceptionally large, it would have been crowded. People were chatting softly until I entered the room, as if they'd been waiting for me.
"Ah, Son, we've been waiting for you." Dad said as he approached me. "And let's just get all this over with, ok?"
"Uh, sure. But what's there to get over, let's just learn the system, and start finding our prices for all this stuff."
A couple of the people in the room laughed, my father just smiled.
"So, these folks get the early pickings, eh? Was it by lottery, or fee, or what?"
"Oh, you are a cute one." said Diane.
"Son, here's the deal. Yes, these people get first pickings of the sale, but they are going to . . . fuck for the privilege."
I don't think I ever heard my Dad say that word before, and certainly not in such a casual way. " I beg your pardon?" I said, leaning forward and blinking my eyes rapidly, trying to be silly to cover my confusion.
"Son, getting in early to a sale is a valuable commodity, and any system that tries to be fair and unbiased in choosing who gets that commodity can be also be cheated. And straight fees, well, it's a bit grubby, close to a bribe. And I never want to tell any grieving family that anything close to a bribe, or an . . auction . . " He shuddered. ". . were involved in the transformation of the departed's assets." My Dad always talked like that about the business, but that's not important right now.
I blinked hard. "So, sex. Of course. Makes sense." Which it didn't.
"The exchange of sexual favors shows a level of intimacy that builds trust and respect. We have a family of dealers that can meet the criteria for our trade, and we receive a benefit in return, more valuable than just a little more filthy luchre. Why do you think I never remarried after your mom died?"
"Did you do . . this while you were married?"
"Oh hell no, your Grandad had the helm then."
"He had a fantastic cock, and really knew how to use it." said Terry. "We all miss him."
"But you're single, level headed, and frankly I'm ready to settle down."
". . . what are you asking me, exactly?"
"You are going to have sex with Diane there, while the other Vendors pay their fee with the other staff members.