It was Friday night; the clock in my office had just clicked over informing me that I was in serious danger of missing half price drinks at āBennyāsā. Of course this served to only further piss me off, and my mood took another step closer towards Nietzscheās abyss.
The problem though, wasnāt the fact that I was about to miss those half price drinks, but the fact that I had to finish this brief, the one I had been procrastinating about for the past two weeks, and the very one my father expected in his hands first thing tomorrow morning. One of the things most people seem to think is that when the boss is your father, you have it made. Obviously most of those people havenāt met my father, a more cantankerous, stuck up royal pain in the ass, Type A personality couldnāt be imagined.
As the CEO of one of the top ten law firms in our fair state, my father plays it straight down the line. He represents everyone, whether they are the garbage collector or the mayor. Actually now that I think about it, I take that back, I remember him telling the mayor of our fair city to go fuck himself last week, so I guess the mayor will have to go elsewhere for his legal advice, but Tim the garbo is still welcome. Even Dad isnāt stupid enough to fuck with the garbage collector.
Anyway you get the picture, my father was the Devil incarnate and I wasnāt going to get near a beer tonight. Just when I thought it couldnāt possibly get any worse, a knock on my door was quickly followed by the appearance of my self appointed nemesis Roger. I have to spend a moment on Roger as heās crucial to the story, imagine a guy about 5ā6ā, average build in his late 30ās. Heās got thinning blonde hair; watery blue eyes that remind me of someone with sinus problems, and a nose that looked like someone had used it as a punching bag. Roger also suffered from a sagging belly and poor posture. All in all you could be forgiven for thinking this guy was one of Gods losers (I certainly thought he was). The trouble though was that God in his infinite wisdom had granted Roger a formidable intellect, which my father, bless his soul, seemed to care more about then me.
Why Roger annoyed me so much, I have no idea, but annoy me he did. And as I have already mentioned, I was already pissed off, so seeing Roger in my doorway only pissed me off more. Of course I was too professional to make this really obvious.
ā Hi Mark, saw your light on and just wanted to remind you about tomorrow nightā
āTomorrow night???ā (oh fuck)
āRemember my engagement partyā¦ā
āOf course, sorry my minds a million miles away with this brief, what time again?ā
ā7 for 7.30, see you then, I have to run, ciaoā
Just fucking great, not only do I miss going out tonight, but tomorrow night Iām going to be stuck at Rogers engagement party FUCKKKK. Of course I hadnāt forgot his engagement party, I had no intention of going in the first place, Nietzscheās abyss suddenly took on the appearance of a tropical holiday in the sun, compared to a night of Rogers company. I groaned loudly bemoaning my sorry fate and sullenly returned to the brief.
At 8.30 the following morning, brief in hand I knocked and entered into Dadās office. As usual he was there with his secretary Ms Schaeffer. Trudi Schaeffer had been Dadās secretary since he had opened, and just between you and me Iām pretty sure she was fucking him. After all how many other secretaries come in on a Saturday?
āHeres the brief on the Thompson caseā I dropped it on his desk.
He glanced at it, and then said, āFine grab a seat weāve got some work to doā.
Work, what the fuck, its Saturday
āUmm Iāve got plans, is this going to take longā?
āAs long as it takesā the old bastard said and before my eyes my Saturday evaporated.
At 5.30 that afternoon I finally managed to get out of there, I left the office silently cursing, and wishing all kinds of incurable diseases on my fathers head. As I walked out of the office into the cold and wet late afternoon I suddenly remembered I still had to go to Rogers that evening FUCKKK. Then I remembered that I hadnāt bought them a present, FUCKKKK again.
Getting home I tried to imagine ways of solving my dilemma, I could ring up and cancel, offer some bullshit excuse for not going. Trouble was, everybody from the office was going to be there, fuck it I would just have to go. I showered and changed into a fresh suit; glancing at the clock I realised I was running out of time.
Jumping in my car I put the pedal to the metal and hustled over to my friendly liquor store, I ran in plucked 2 bottles of Scotch and 2 of Bourbon off the shelf and with a wave I told Steve to put it on my tab. Lucky for me Iām one of Steveās best customers and he just gave me a nod. Back in the car and another drive to the local pharmacy, run inside pick up the first engagement card I can find, pay for it and quickly write some pithy platitude inside. Then itās back in the car and off to Rogers.
As I drive over I suddenly realise Iāve never met his fiancĆ©e Kathy, well I shouldnāt beat myself up I say to myself, itās not like Roger and I move in the same circles, and as long as I can avoid it we wonāt be. Anyway it gives me something to think about as I finish the drive over to Rogersās townhouse, what kind of woman, does a man like Roger attract? I shudder at the mental image appearing in my head, and continue the drive in an ever more depressed mood.
My night suddenly takes a turn for the better however when I get to Rogers house, and discover that Roger to his ever lasting credit, has hired a couple of kids to park the cars, thus removing a long and aggravating walk. Making my way up the stairs I hear the soft noise of a party in progress and as I get closer and the volume increases, my mood gradually improves, thereās nothing I like better than a party, even if it does happen to be at Rogers.
The door to Rogersās apartment is wide open, so I just walk in casually nodding to a few of my fellow workmates. A small cheer echoes around the room as people recognise me, and more importantly for them, notice the free booze Iāve brought with me. Suddenly Roger is at my side shaking my hand with a big stupid smile on his face. I present him with the booze and then remembering the card awkwardly hand it over to him.
For a moment he just stares at it and then says