I.
Life comes at you fast.
It's a boy. We gave him my name, so he's a junior, and we use initials for him most of the time. He is now growing a touch of dark hair like mine (when I used to have hair) on his beautiful little head and might be hairy all over some day, also in the manner of his dad. He has the intelligent eyes and serene, regal air of his mother. He'll always be my little coyote. They were even out howling a lot when we brought him home.
During the pregnancy, I spent a solid hour each day imparting as much energy as I could into both of them, the two loves of my life. I would look right into her eyes as I held my hands over different parts of her abdomen, and later on often held her from behind. I made a qi ball every chance I could and kept putting it over where he was. It was also common for us to earth barefoot outside in the desert soil. I always made a point of kissing her stomach. She'd be focusing her attention as I talked to and recited prayers over him. Then I'd work her on the massage table, aiding the areas of her body that got more strained during the pregnancy. After each session concluded, I'd sit in a chair next to her and continue more sustained touching while placing lines of kisses along her body.
I first met her mother several months before the ceremony, which she also returned for. She helped out for a few weeks as we got used to dealing with the baby, too. It was an honor to have her at the property and talk about my life. I find her to be a vision of late middle-aged feminine beauty and can see how much of her there is in my wife. She probably found out through the grapevine about me, but from what I know, she said nothing. Maybe she kept it quiet. Very classy, like her amazing daughter.
We put out a simple announcement on a wedding site with professional photos. The two of us were smiling at the camera in cowboy hats, holding both hands. Another shot was of me holding her from behind as she smiled while I looked into the sunset. All comments were moderated. I was clear with her that I didn't want anyone commenting who said anything negative about me, or her for that matter. It's great to be assuming more ownership of her day by day. She doesn't have her own credit cards. If she needs something from the store or online, she can ask me for it and I'll buy it. Her social media accounts are gone and her Google account is under my strict monitoring. She knows not to leave the house without my permission, either. We love this arrangement; she told me she's never felt happier. It's given her the carefree feeling of being a child again.
As for my gay friends who saw the news, everyone congratulated me, and there were many respectful compliments about how gorgeous she is. I had a few candid discussions with guys wanting this kind of experience for themselves, so I shared what I've learned about interacting with women and understanding myself sexually. They thanked me. Two good mutual female friends of hers came down for the ceremony, as did my former fuck buddy who introduced us and another mutual male friend. My sister couldn't make it because she had surgery scheduled, and her brother was still stationed overseas but sent his congratulations. My older brother attended. He's been cool about the whole thing. He, too, took me aside and said he could understand why I fell for her.
It was a short, pleasant ceremony at the courthouse in town. I wore my best suit and one of my dad's ties with his tie clip. Her simple white dress shone radiantly along with a borrowed necklace from her mother. We walked down the aisle together. As the judge administered the ceremony and we said our vows, we stood facing each other holding both hands, our steady gazes silently reminding us of those private memories we'd made. To celebrate, everyone stayed at the property for a few days just talking, playing board games, hitting up some bars in town, or looking at the scenery. One of our friends made some liveblog videos exploring the lovely system of gulches all around us, some of which are small canyons. The coyotes occasionally came out but then scampered off.
It was fun, now that I reminisce about it. She was starting to show, and we had decided on no hard sex before then, anyway. I'm actually glad we enjoyed this peaceful honeymoon with family and friends instead of going berserk in some hotel somewhere. We'd talked about another trip to the coast but agreed it can wait a while. In bed the night after the ceremony, there was a lot of caressing. I told her that witnessing her body changing was me seeing God. And now she truly was my responsibility. Years down the line, she'd have to say goodbye to me as my life drew to a close. We cried in each other's arms realizing these truths.
Some weeks later was his quickening. I was right there with her. It shocked me to my core. I silently held on to her abdomen, staring at her, mouth agape. He was actually real. I had to be strong for both of them. She comforted me and I felt better again soon enough, but she doesn't know how often I've asked myself what I've done, and she also wasn't aware that I cried alone in the bathroom afterward in shock. There are still times at night, with her asleep cuddled against my chest, when I stare at the ceiling. It's just how things are for dads.
Our little angel arrived four months later. I'm a big man and had put one big baby in her. The delivery still proceeded well with my wife having me at her side. I kissed his lips, nose, and forehead upon having him in my arms for the first time. He's pretty quiet. She's more worried about checking on him than has ever been needed, but we accept it as biology. The two of us simply care in different ways about him.
My wife and I still put in a good hour of sex when we can. I give her deep reverence, telling her she is loved and protected. Even now, we occasionally don't want to get off, as our intimacy is all staring, kissing, and touching. That first time being inside of her after she recuperated from the birth is a sensation I will never get out of my head. We'll be fantasizing together over some gay stuff as I'm balls deep in her, and I have to explode thinking about it all over again. Of course, my cum is more natural lubricant for added lovemaking until she contributes that slippery, creamy substance of her own along with her soft orgasmic grunts.
I walk in the footsteps of countless men like me. They meet that one woman, often because they have to, or want to, or something else pulls them in and it's a bit of both. We have done what was required, loving our wives and caring for our families pretty much like any other men would. I occasionally take part in chat groups for gay dads. Most are, of course, married to other men and did adoptions, but I discreetly talk with others who took the same journey I did. Every last one is very happy. Guys frequently speak of kissing their wives' bodies from head to toe, of silently worshiping them when they make love. They'll often be at home with their families and look around with a mix of joy and awe.
She's a terrific mom. I respect the confidence she displays when dealing with our son. He's babbling and crawling more, and it's beautiful to watch all the new challenges and stages of his life unfold. My wife and I did shadow work together, a psychological technique emphasizing the bringing forth of hidden or supposedly shameful aspects of one's personality to create a healthier and functional whole. She noticed ongoing resentment she held toward her own parents, owning those internal difficulties and relating to them in new ways for the benefit of our child and me. I also participated in this process and gained awareness of my hypocrisies and blind spots. We mutually promised to do our best even when tired or irritated. Everything has been smooth sailing because I guide this family. We are not left adrift as so many other families are.
So, that's the long and the short of my life now. I'll have the little sweetheart in bed asleep between us in the mornings. I see them and realize this is my entire universe, right here. Sometimes she wakes up early, and we'll just link our bodies and glances as our arms are around him. She always tells me that they both need me and adore me. When it's late at night, I'll often be working on my tablet on the floor of his room, and then I'll be zonked out as he sleeps peacefully in his crib knowing daddy is nearby. Or I have him on my chest as our hearts beat together.
Life has its stresses with paying bills, making sales, and all of that. I'm still happy in general. My family is with me, and I get to work from home with only the occasional trip for a meeting or networking event. I keep my focus on my purpose so my wife can care for him. I must remain the man she fell in love with. My morning workouts are a top priority, and I also still pursue my hobbies. Right now, I'm creating some pen-and-ink drawings of the high desert along with the particular style of fantasy art I used to make, featuring Asian and Mesoamerican dragon imagery which combines very well with my depictions of the desert landscapes I grew up near. I remember showing some of it to her the first night we met all those years ago. She seems very proud of me. That's what keeps it all moving.
You might want to know how all of this started. Here you go.
II.
The invitation came to me from another guy I was sleeping with. I had been in the city for several months, finally getting a temp job and using that to pay bills while I kept interviewing. Lining the nearby streets close to my new apartment were some tourist restaurants, but mostly, the area had residential buildings and small grocers. I'd been with several men on the apps and had gotten on friendly terms with one in particular. We'd decided it was best to not have a serious relationship. He was socially connected, and that was the real plus of knowing him.
