Ellen and Joey

It was rather nice to have Joey out of town for the better part of two weeks after their torrid mid-week lovemaking session. I learned quite quickly that having him out of town and having him out of her life were two quite different things, as he proved to be a very attentive boyfriend, constantly calling, e-mailing, texting, and twice sending her flowers. Ellen was very pleased that Joey was proving to be an attentive and apparently monogamous suitor. All of this really came as an unwelcome development. I had trouble wrapping my mind around the fact that a horny, partier like Joey would be so enamored of Ellen. There was the 12-year difference in age, for one, plus she had a son and while she had independent means, she couldn't be expected to participate in the lifestyle of a young, single, corporate type.

But these issues were apparently not deal-breakers for either of them. I mean, it was dawning on me just how prime Ellen was, a catch for any man at any age. She was incomparably beautiful, of course, and highly, perhaps too highly, sexed. And she was more than well off financially. And, it was dawning on me that she had business and social ties to the world to which Joey aspired. There were no upgrades to be had. Ellen offered everything a man could want in a woman. I knew this of course but as the light went off in my head, I realized that the real reason Joey had been so quick to agree to a monogamous relationship with Ellen had less to do with the sex and everything to do wanting her as a life partner. I had seriously underestimated Joey. To me he was a toy; a highly skilled, youthful, and vigorous lover who had performed his role well with two of the women I dated, but who was in the end a disposable pleasure. But he was a clever, ambitious man and in his own way, as desirable a catch as Ellen. I was mentally kicking myself for being so obtuse.

Ellen and I shared a week of rather typical contact after Joey had left on his extended business trip, with daily phone calls, texts, and two visits. We made love twice and both times when I beheld her naked body, I was instantly aroused. Knowing that Joey also knew her raw beauty and enjoyed the charms of her body made me wild with the need to reclaim her as my own. And though Ellen was responsive to my impassioned lovemaking, I was unable on both occasions to bring her to a climax, something Joey did with distressing ease. The second time we made love, I was for some reason conscious that my penis did not and could not reach and press against her cervix as Joey could do with ease. Indeed he had to hold back an inch or so when he was inside of her in certain positions as otherwise he would cause pain and discomfort to her internally. And both times the joy of my release as I came inside of her was almost immediately dulled by the thought that my ejaculate was sterile, devoid of the teeming tens of millions of sperm cells that Joey could and did release into her sex. And as deflating as that bit of reality was, I had to admit that it was also intensely exciting for me to know of a certainty that Joey was regularly and deeply inseminating her, as I could not.

As we lay together in bed after making love, I wanted desperately to share my thoughts, fears, and desires with Ellen. And I realized that there was no reason why I shouldn't. I loved her, trusted her, and in a way she was my best friend. And friends listen and allow you to be yourself. I resolved to just open up to her about the situation with Joey when the phone rang.

"Hi baby," she chirped into the phone as she smiled with obvious delight. "I'm doing fine. I'm here with John. We're hanging out this evening." Yeah, and both of us are naked in bed, I thought smugly. "What are you up, naughty boy?!"

"Really? That would be great. When do you come in? For how long?" Damn. I thought he would be gone for a full two weeks. There was an extended silence.

"Yes, I can see you tomorrow. I'll just have his father keep him an extra day. "Shouldn't be a problem. I miss you too. Love you!" I could hear the joy in her voice even as I gazed on her lovely ass and gently stroked her breast as she lay on her side. She didn't take any notice as I did so.

They chatted for a few minutes as Joey apparently shared some of the details of his trip and Ellen talked about the mundane happenings of her week. They were a truly loving, happy couple. I suppose it was that phone call, more than watching them sexually coupling, which made my decision. She was in no hurry to end the call, taking obvious pleasure in connecting with him. Ellen smiled in my direction a few times which I greatly appreciated. She was entirely without shame or guile, talking with her lover in my presence, and for that simple quality I could not but love her even more. Her animated joy at hearing from her lover was genuine. I was surprised that I didn't feel angry or threatened. I actually felt relieved.

"Joey's coming into town for the weekend before he heads back out. His boss said he needed to have a few days off. He could have stayed in New York, but he wanted to come back to be with me. That's so sweet!"

"Yeah," I answered numbly. "So, what's the plan?"

And then she hesitated, biting her lip a bit. I wondered what was up.

"Would you mind if Joey and I went out together, you know, as a couple this weekend? I want to get past this whole deal of just having him just coming to my house so secretly, though the back door. I think it's time, don't you?"

And I couldn't but agree. There was no reason to be secretive any more. Joey was her boyfriend. I wasn't sure what I was any longer, but for once I decided to lay down my own rules.

"Ellen, you know that I love you."

"And I love you too. You know I do. What's up with you?"

"I know that love me, I mean, I really do. You're my best friend as well. So we need to talk, or rather I need to talk to you about this whole situation. OK?"

"I love you and you're my best friend too. I don't know what I would do without you. You can tell me anything." I melted with relief and knew in that instant I had nothing to fear.

"I'm jealous of Joey. No, that's not quite right. I mean, I'm sort of intimidated by him."

"He hasn't said anything to you, has he? Or been mean to you? I won't stand for that!" I was taken aback a bit by her intensity. I had not expected her to be so protective of me but she was and her caring warmed me.

"No, I don't talk with Joey and he's said nothing mean to me. But, look, I'm a guy. I know that he charms you. And I know that you, well, you know, have feelings for him. Do you love him?"

She didn't answer immediately, looking at me questioningly, but she was an honest woman, so I didn't have to wait long for her reply. "I do love Joey now; very much. You know that didn't happen right away, but love just happens. It doesn't change my feelings for you. I don't know, you just offer me something different – maybe better, but I love you as well. Oh god, don't leave me John," and she teared up. "I'd be lost without you. What a mess I've made of this!" It grieved me to see her so upset, so I enfolded her in my arms and kissed her.

"Ellen, you're the love of my life. You're my best friend. I want what is best for you – that's how much I love you. I will always be there for you – always." And then she cried, trembling in my arms. I held her close and stroked her hair, offering her solace and caring in my embrace. I think it was in that moment that I really got it, you know, what really mattered to me. "I will never leave you."

She looked up adoringly at me and said, "You are the most amazing man. I love you so much." And she smiled that Ellen smile, and I was smitten – she had me, forever. And emboldened, I broached my unspoken fears.

"But I'm a man and I know that while I adore being with you sexually, Joey is a better lover. He is. I mean, he is, isn't he?"

She nestled in my arms and whispered her reply. "Yes, he is, but what does that matter?"

"It matters to me, sweetie. I'm a guy. But I can live with that as long as I know that you love me."

And then she perked up. "You're the most amazing man. You allow me to have my pleasures and yet you still love me." She snuggled against me, closer than ever. "I wonder if Joey will."

"I don't know, babe. I do know that you need to be who you are. Either he gets that or he doesn't. You have to be in charge."

And then she gave me a curious, inscrutable look, and said, "You can count on that." And, in some convoluted way, I was incredibly pleased. Whatever Joey might offer her sexually; Ellen would never let him own her. She would live her life on her own terms and if that meant having other lovers, he would have to deal with that, as I did and as her ex would not. Joey, despite his alpha nature, would have to toe the line. That pleased me immensely.

And then I surprised even myself. "Allow me to your knight, Ellen – your protector, your devoted lover. But allow me to do that chastely. Allow me to love you that way. Being sexual with you is so difficult for me now, desiring you but knowing I cannot pleasure you as Joey can. Or as your other lovers can. I know that's a bit strange, but it's how I want it."

And to my surprise, she got it. "Yes, I can and will do that. Men are so strange, but I do think I understand that." She became quiet and then said, "Are you sure you want that? I will always have other lovers but I would not deny you my body. I'm a woman and that's how I am."

I knew in an instant that somehow, in her denying me her sex, I had found my place. "Yes, that's how I want it. But I still need your touch and to touch you. If I thought I could never embrace your body as I am doing now, I would wither and die." And I meant it.

"You can always do that, John." She sighed and said, "Was there ever a woman who is as happy as I am right now?" And she fell asleep in my arms. And for the first time in my life, I was content. And truthfully, she was as well. I think that in a way she was glad to be relieved to no longer have to provide for my sexual needs. I don't know what the term is for a man like me; perhaps I was a cuckold. I didn't care. I only cared that Ellen had declared her devotion to me and I had done the same for her. And I was actually glad that I no longer had to feel that I had to compete with Joey sexually, knowing it was a competition I could never win.

Joey came to town as promised and I gave them their space. Ellen was true to her word and provided me with some detail of their intimacies that weekend. I knew that they had bonded deeply. I also knew that he had fucked her senseless for two days, but what did that matter? Ellen saw to my needs and allowed me to be her devoted friend, calling and texting me several times. She shared it all with me Sunday after he had left to return to New York and his business.

"He's mine," she said almost matter-of-factly Sunday evening. "I don't entirely trust him, mind you, but seems devoted to me." She giggled. "And, he was just wild to have me!"

"Oh, baby, that is so hot!" I said with great pleasure. "I mean, he flew all that way just to be with you."

"I know, isn't that amazing? And, John, he really made me so happy. He loves me and I love him. It was nice to go out with him and not worry who saw me."

"So, did anyone you know see you with him?" I really did wonder.

"Well, yes, a few of my friends did. Jack, my ex's business partner came up to our table at the restaurant and chatted with us. I'm sure he told Lee afterwards about Joey. Isn't that funny?"

"I'm glad that you don't have to hide any more. Just don't tell anyone about what happened to us, please?"

"Oh, I won't. It's none of their business anyway. But I did like being seen with Joey."

"So, what's next?"

"Well, we go to Vegas next weekend and I am so psyched! We're going to have an amazing time there. I can't wait!" It delighted me to know that she was so energized about being with her lover.

"You know that I will want to know everything, baby. I am so happy for you!" And I meant it.

"Come over on Wednesday, John. I need time with you."

"Absolutely!"

And we had the most amazing evening on Wednesday. We went out to dinner and as always, Ellen looked totally amazing. Any man would kill to have a woman like her on his arm. I felt proud. I only thought once or twice that this gorgeous female specimen at my table had only a few days before been on her back with another lover. I couldn't help that – it's the way that I am put together. I spent the night at her home, in her bed, and although we slept naked in each other's arms, I didn't enter her body. I truthfully didn't want to. Her body rightfully belonged to Joey but the tenderness I enjoyed in caressing and loving her was something altogether different and better. We talked and talked, content with our love for each other, enjoying the incomparable intimacy of our deep, intimate friendship and love. I was never so happy as holding her naked in my arms as we dozed, no longer feeling the useless need to compete with Joey sexually. I had found my place and was entirely content; and my place, though submissive, gave me strength. Several times I have to admit being aroused knowing that the precious woman next to me still carried Joey's sexual leavings in her body. And she thankfully didn't pull away when my hands sought to touch and explore her precious sex.

Ellen had an amazing weekend with Joey in Las Vegas. She phoned me several times and with innocent joy told me of the delights of their time together – the shows, the lights, and of course, the frequent lovemaking. She was so obviously in love with him and I couldn't have been more pleased to know that she was experiencing the joys of romantic and passionate love with her younger, more assertive, and highly passionate new boyfriend. Ellen said that Joey had been surprisingly romantic and affectionate with her throughout the weekend, beyond the sex. This didn't surprise me at all. I knew full well that he wanted more from her than her willingness in the bedroom. He wanted to marry her. In some random way, I suppose I took some pleasure in knowing I had brought them together.

We talked Monday evening when she returned and of course when she asked to see me, I came over straight away.

Ellen was not her usual bubbly, confident self however when I arrived. Her son was upstairs in his room studying, and our getting together when he was in house was frankly a bit of a surprise as she was usually very guarded about her time with him. She met me at the front door with a warm kiss and embrace. And, yes, she looked amazing. Ellen had that rare quality of always and in every situation, being a vision. And I melted as we reconnected in that moment. And I needed to reconnect with her, knowing as I did that she had received the full vigor of Joey's sexing only a few days before. She seemed troubled as we went to her living room where she made me a drink.

I played it very cool, giving her time and space to tell me what was on her mind. We sat and chatted for a minute or two before she got to the business at hand.

"Joey wants to marry me, John."

"No surprise there," I said flatly.

"Well, it surprised me. He kept telling me last weekend, over and over, that he wanted to marry me. Where did that come from?" Ellen was genuinely surprised and quite obviously seeking my advice.

And so I told her. I told her that beyond her beauty and sexuality, that she offered a man a quality of life and connections that few other women could. I laid it all out for her, somewhat surprised that she did not get Joey's stated wish to marry her.

"But, why would he want to marry me, for goodness sake? I mean, I'm more than ten years older than he is. And, do you know what, he told me that he wanted to have a child with me! He could have his pick of women his age. So, why me?"

"Because he knows, babe, that you offer more than any woman his own age could." And I meant it. "You're beautiful, sexual, wealthy, and connected socially. He wants you to bear his child to tie you to him."

"I've thought about that. I do want another child. You know that." She bit her lip, obviously in deep thought. "I don't trust him entirely though. I wonder if it's all about the money and my lifestyle and not about me. I've never trusted men for that reason. Of course, you're the exception." And she kissed me sweetly on my cheek and then embraced me, seeking my loving support.

"You'll find your way in all of this, Ellen. But, why not with him? You only have a few more childbearing years left. And you do love him. And I'm sure that if you do decide to marry, your attorneys can protect you."

"I do love him. And I have thought about having another child." There was the longest silence on the phone and my heart was in my throat waiting for her to tell me more. "But, John, I don't want another man to own me like Lee did when I married him. I do want Joey's child, but he's as possessive of me as Lee was. A part of me wishes I could just have another child on my own terms."

And I thought carefully about how to respond. Jeez, here was the love of my life considering whether or not to allow another man to marry and impregnate her. But even in my agony over that possibility, I responded in love.

"You can't have his child without marrying him, Ellen. You know that as well as I do. If you want a child by Joey, that's your only option. You have too much to lose socially and otherwise to consider anything else." I waited a few seconds before asking the question that truly agonized me. "Do you want to marry him?"

"I don't know. I really don't." Her answer was immediate. "I do think sometimes he just wants my money and my social standing. How can I know, John? I just know I ache for him, want him, and want to give him everything I have to offer. Oh, goodness, I don't know what to do!" she said in anguish.

I so loved this woman, even knowing that the topic at hand was whether she would agree to be bred by another man, and perhaps even marry him. I didn't care. She needed me.

And we held each other and talked for hours, about her needs, not mine. I didn't care – I just wanted to feel her body against mine and smell the sweetness of her hair and enjoy, if only chastely, the warmth of her breasts against my body. I loved her so much, even as she told me of her passionate love for Joey, and, most tellingly, of her most secret desire to carry his child. Ellen was deeply conflicted, loving him, but not willing to sacrifice her independence to him as she had done when she was married. I knew the answer.

"You are near the end of your childbearing years, Ellen. I can't give you a child. Joey certainly can. You love him. So, you should have a baby with him. Marry him, as you must, but don't you ever, every let him dictate to you how to live you life. You will lose yourself if you do."

"Oh, god, you are so right," she said looking up to me. "What would I do without you, John? I wish I could have your baby, not his." And that cut right through me. Though she was trying to love to me in saying that, I felt completely deflated. I couldn't give her what she so desperately needed – a child from the product of love. Only Joey could do that. And that ambitious, self-serving bastard would no doubt give her just that. He might marry her – he would almost certainly breed her – but she was still my precious girl. And I smiled inwardly thinking I would bring another man to her bed, so that Joey would know the torment that I felt right now.

Joey pressed his marital suit vigorously over the next few months. He understood that he would need to ingratiate himself with her son if he was to be successful, and with his considerable charm, he did so. William looked up to him in a way, though I'm sure that he was a bit confused at first as to where Joey and I fit into his mother's life. In time he accepted, as did Ellen's other friends, that Joey was her boyfriend. Ellen was tickled by the reaction of many in her social circle to her having 'landed' such a handsome, younger lover. While some were appalled, I think that most of her married female friends were in fact envious that she had what it took to bring such a prime male specimen to her bed. I know for a fact that she shared more than a few details of Joey's bedroom skills with her best friend Amanda, who at first questioned her why she had 'dumped' me for another man. Ellen's explanation that she and I were just 'friends' now did not satisfy her. Amanda had always liked me, knowing for a certainty that I was devoted to Ellen. I'm sure she thought that Ellen had hurt me, thinking that her caprice with Joey was nothing more than the fling of a middle-aged woman.